


Wings of Dawning

by Tarashima



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Kidnapping, M/M, Nothing explicit, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sexual Content, Torture, a good dosage of angst, and everyone is an elf, but we have lots of dragons, don't mess with Yuugi is all I'm saying, graphical panic attack, it's just not that easy, mentions of blood happens, non-explicit gore, slight mentions of animal death (hunting), the idiots are trying I swear, top!yuugi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-22
Updated: 2019-09-23
Packaged: 2020-09-23 17:03:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 66,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20343619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tarashima/pseuds/Tarashima
Summary: Soulmates are both the blessing and the curse of the elvish race, and Yuugi the dragon rider knows it all too well, as he’s been longing for the day when he’ll meet his, waiting for the day when a message hinting at his mate's whereabouts will appear on his body. But when others receive their message written in golden letters, Yuugi receives something different, something much more terrifying. And now, he must save his mate before it’s too late.





	1. Messages

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this fic for last year's Big Bang event, but I had to drop out because of lots and lots of pc-problems. I almost didn't want to finish it, but signing up for this year's event gave me a good reason to, so here it is; my first multi-chaptered fic! I can't believe I've written all of this. 
> 
> All the thanks, love and kudos to Ashethehedgehog for being there for me from the very start all the way to here, as a beta as well as an amazing friend. I seriously couldn't have done all of this without her. I love you, Ashe ♥♥♥

Frost on the ground and the low setting sun could’ve easily fooled someone it was early morning and the sun was yet to rise and melt it away. The air was chilly and silent, with not much movement from critters that inhabited the woodland. But someone familiar with the environment would know that morning had passed long ago and was on its way to set, giving the sky a slight shade of fiery orange.

The giant mountain moose might not know the why and how, but it did know that it was the beginning of spring and that the last traces of the winter would soon be gone, welcoming new greenery to grow and the animals emigrating south from the cold to return. It would yet be a while before the season would change, but it wasn’t far away.

Trudging through the trees, the proud animal was on its way to higher ground where dewy moss was now accessible. The fresher vegetation was welcome after a tough and harsh winter, where the only food source had been the bark of the trees and water had been hard to come by.

It reached its destination and started to happily chew on the soft moss, its juice well compensating for the lack of freshwater

Suddenly, something sharp pierced into the hard muscle of its back leg. The object wasn’t big enough to cause pain, but the moose was surprised nevertheless. It grew into shock as more objects pierced through the skin, now on more parts of the body, causing more and more pain. Fleeing instincts kicked in, it had to get away from what it couldn’t see.

As it turned its body to run, something whooshed passed its ear and into a small tree beside it. The animal might not have known the word for it, but it had seen arrows before.

A sudden noise from above startled the beast further. Something was approaching fast, and there was a faint sound of beating wings. Instincts ran throughout the whole body now, driven it to flee.

It never stood a chance before the black dragon came from above and took the moose’s neck into its mouth, quickly and painlessly broke it.

* * *

“Ha-ha, yes! This was an enormous one! Did you see it Yuugi?” Jounouchi laughed and got out down from the tree where he had been hiding, while his dragon landed, the moose still in its mouth.

“It was hard to miss, Jounouchi, it’s almost as big as Red-Eyes,” Yuugi answered his friend while getting out from some bushes. He was exaggerating of course; the moose was barely half the size of Jounouchi’s dragon, but it was still big enough to be a tough prey for smaller dragons. Yuugi doubted anything smaller than Gandora would’ve been able to take it down, and perhaps not even her, but he had trust in his dragon. If anything, he didn’t trust himself as a hunter or rider good enough for such a task. And taking down boars with little to no sweat didn’t necessarily make him a good huntsman, like Jounouchi.

But at the moment it didn’t matter if he wasn’t good enough; they had finished their mission with a result better than anyone could’ve hoped for. The moose would be able to feed the whole tribe for a few weeks and the leather would suffice for both clothes and pieces of pelt for those who might need new blankets or carpets in their homes.

Red-Eyes might’ve been able to take down the animal, but there was no way he would be able to carry it home, they were too far off in the mountains. That didn’t stop him from trying to grab the beast with his arms and lift it. Jounouchi didn’t try to stop him, but instead climbed up onto Red-Eyes’ back, seemingly as stubborn as his dragon in carrying the animal home.

“Don’t even try Jounouchi.” Honda protested as he got out from between the trees, his own dragon landing just beside him. “Let Flamwell help.”

Yuugi saw his friends start their typical bickering, where Jounouchi was persistent as usual and Honda scolded him for it. He smiled, but it soon faded and he turned his eyes away. He knew they wouldn’t ask for his help, and as much as he understood why, with Gandora being the smallest and weakest of the three when it came to muscles, he still wished it was different and that they could’ve considered asking him, at least once in a while. But on the other hand, no matter the size of the game, there could never be too many hunters.

It didn’t stop Yuugi from feeling useless, though.

Gandora landed beside him, and Yuugi rewarded her with some dried rabbit meat he carried in the pouch on his hip, caressing her cheek as she chewed on the meat. She growled happily from deep within her throat.

“You did good, Ganny,” Yuugi said affectionately.

Gandora, sensing his subtle melancholy, made a small huff and carefully nudged her master. 

‘Master, too.’

It didn’t do much, but Yuugi appreciated the gesture nonetheless. He gave her a grateful smile, giving her cheek some extra pats as a thank you.

“Fine, have it your way then!” Yuugi heard Jounouchi exclaiming.

Yuugi turned his head their way. It seemed that Jounouchi had finally given up.

“Oi Yuugi! Did you bring the rope?” Honda shouted.

Yuugi nodded and reached for the bag on Gandora’s saddle, taking out a long, thick rope and came up to the moose to make a proper contraption good enough for two dragons to transport their catch. Always being assigned to be the carrier of necessaries wasn’t enough to make him feel needed, being something else other than a helper would’ve been swelling

_At least I can make some good knots _, he thought as he and Honda started tying the rope around the moose, Red-Eyes still holding it up for better access.

* * *

As they all landed in the empty square in the centre of the village, the chief came out to greet them.

“My my, that’s a really good catch, boys!” Mai commended them as they all got off their dragons.

Getting back to the crevice where their village was located with the prey had still been a challenge, even with two dragons carrying it, and Jounouchi had to apologise midway home and admit Honda had been right.

“We were just lucky enough to find it and get it before it escaped,” Honda confessed.

“Pah, don’t listen to him! It takes more than luck to hunt something this big! Besides, Red-Eyes is truly the one to praise for taking it down with no sweat!”

Honda was just on his way to argue against Jounouchi’s comment but Mai beat him to it, silencing both of the hunters.

“That’s enough Jonouchi. Your mission was successful and whoever did what is irrelevant.”

Jounouchi muttered something but didn’t say anything more.

“Besides,” Mai continued, “your work isn’t done just yet; this beast has to be taken care of, so get to it.”

“Yes, chief.” Honda and Jounouchi answered, motioning both Red-Eyes and Flamwell to lift the moose to the butchery.

“No, Yuugi, your work is done,” Mai said, stopping Yuugi from following them. “Let them handle it, I need you elsewhere.”

“Where do you need me, chief?”

“My daughter could use some help preparing a working place for all the fresh leather, see if you can be of assistance.”

Yuugi smiled, and he gave a slight bow, accepting his orders.

“Yes, chief.” He said as he turned and signalled Gandora to return to her nest. She gave him a worried look but did as she was told and flew off, while Yuugi went right off to the leather workshop, eyes looking towards the ground.

* * *

He found the leatherworker stressing around in her hut trying to get some order on her benches and shelves and toolboxes. Yuugi chuckled a bit, she wasn’t the most organized in the tribe but that was part of her charm.

“Do you need help, Anzu?” He asked, making her jump.

“By the Divine Dragons Yuugi, don’t sneak up on me like that!” Anzu yelped.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to.” He sheepishly apologised. “I take it you heard about the hunt?”

“Yeah, I saw you guys arriving, and well... I won’t lie and say I didn’t panic a bit. You just gave me a ton of work to do.”

“Should I apologise for that as well?”

She waved dismissively. “No, no need, game that big is always welcoming, despite all the work it brings. I would, however, appreciate some help clearing up this mess so… will you help me?”

“Like you have to ask, Anzu, of course I’ll help.”

Anzu sighed, her shoulders relaxing.

“You’re truly a lifesaver Yuugi, thank you.”

_I know _ , Yuugi thought, _ that’s all I’ve ever been _.

He mentally kicked himself for thinking that, again. What was wrong with him today? He usually kept all those feelings in control, so why not today?

Pushing all those thoughts away, he started to sort out the pile closest to him. Unfinished jackets and shirts were put in their boxes and cabinets to be worked on later, some of them so close to being finished they were almost ready to be taken to Yuugi’s mother for some sewed on wool or fur lining. If the workshop had been less messy and they’d had more time to prepare for the upcoming leatherwork, Yuugi could’ve done it right now. But perhaps it wasn’t a complete loss; Yuugi didn’t really have the same skills as his mother. Being the son of the village’s seamstress didn’t come with any natural talents. So he simply put them to the side to bring to his mother later.

“How was the hunt by the way?” Anzu asked, bringing Yuugi out of his thoughts. “I only know what you brought back, not what happened along the way. And you were gone barely two and a half days.”

Yuugi shrugged as he moved on to the next pile.

“It wasn’t that exciting, really, we found moose-tracks yesterday and followed them until it got dark, and this morning we managed to track down the beast. End of story.”

Anzu paused for a moment and frowned at him.

“You know, you have been more enthusiastic at times, even when absolutely nothing happens and all you’ve come back with are a couple of hares.”

“Oh… well, I guess I just wasn’t in the mood this time.”

“Were you thinking about purpose and soulmates again?”

Yuugi almost dropped the leather patches he had been trying to rearrange on the shelf.

Anzu shook her head. “So I was right then.”

“I was only thinking about purpose this time, Anzu!”

“Yeah, but you always come back daydreaming about soulmates when you do, so you probably would’ve at some point if I hadn’t called you out now.”

Yuugi managed to collect all the patches and made another attempt at arranging them, a dejected smile on his face.

“You know me too well.”

“Of course I do! I’ve known you ever since you were born, what, one hundred and fourty-seven years ago?”

“It’s one hundred and fourty-nine years actually.”

“I was close at least, but it doesn’t matter. My point is, you’ve felt like this for almost a century now, always getting lost since you’ve been the helper for too long. Don’t you think it’s time to let go and just enjoy life until you get your soul message?”

Yuugi didn’t answer; it wasn’t the first time he’d been told that. In one way, he knew Anzu was right, but she also wasn’t in the same position as him. She already had a role to fill in the village, and she’d been filling that role for so long that the leatherworker was almost taken for granted. Anzu was still young by elvish standards with being only a few decades older than Yuugi, but she had been the reliable provider of leather for clothes, armour and accessories for most of her years. All she lacked in life really was a soulmate, but she wasn’t wishing for one either. Of the two of them, only Yuugi was. 

He glanced at Anzu as she tried to make something out of the mess under her main bench. It might’ve been almost a century that he’d wished for and tried to find a purpose fitting for him, but it hadn’t been as long he’d wished for a soulmate. Yuugi had never told Anzu that the thing that had sparked his desires of finding a mate and therefore fulfil his wish of having a purpose came from him developing a crush on her. Or perhaps she knew, but never touched the subject since she clearly didn’t feel the same, always referring to Yuugi as a close sibling. And Yuugi didn’t feel like pursuing her if there was a risk of hurting their friendship.

It didn’t even matter if Anzu had been interested in being his lovemate instead. Yuugi wasn’t interested in just having fun. He wanted something more than that. As much as he didn’t like the thought of it and never had, he still found small comfort in that none of them would have a say in the matter if destiny decided for them to be soulmates.

Yuugi would’ve loved to raise a family with Anzu, and had often dreamed about it. The sound of small feet running through the cave they would live in and through the village, little ones that would be following him on trips with Gandora and bond with dragons on their own. Also the most important thing Yuugi aimed for; the continued survival of the tribe.

But destiny can’t be forced. And there was never any point in hoping. It happens when it happens. And an elf being alone without a mate its whole life had never been heard of, but that didn’t stop Yuugi from fearing it. It was stupid of him of course, and yet… What if he would be the first one in history?

_Destiny could’ve been more gently, that’s for sure_, Yuugi thought, and turned back to the bench where he’d started to sort out all of Anzu’s tools.

Anzu came up to him, carrying even more tools she’d probably found in the mess.

“Yuugi.” Her voice was soft and comforting. “Why can’t you be content with being the greatest helper? You can’t argue with that, you’ve always been an aid for everyone in the village, isn’t that enough? Being a helper is also an important role.”

“Anzu, anyone can be a helper.”

“True, but it’s not like anyone but you can trade with the forest trolls.” She winked at him.

Yuugi turned his head towards her. “How often do I have to do that? I’m meeting the trolls perhaps once a year. Besides, even Jounouchi would be able to beat them in a game.”

“Jounouchi wouldn’t have the patience or social skills, and you know it.”

Yuugi chuckled. “Yeah, that’s true. He would be able to beat them in a fight, though.”

“Please, Yuugi, _ anyone _can beat them in a fight, even Seto and Kisara’s triplets and they’re just about ready to find dragons of their own.”

Yuugi couldn’t help but laugh, even if it was true. Anzu smiled and then patted his back. “I just don’t want you to think you’re not important or not useful, because you are. And not just for me. You don’t need a soulmate to fill a purpose.” 

“It would be a purpose at least if I had one.”

“Having kids shouldn’t be the only thing you can think of.”

“It’s not! It’s… more of a backup plan, just in case.”

“But you _ shouldn’t _need a backup, and you shouldn’t think about having one.”

Yuugi made a mental sigh; he didn’t have anything more to add.

“Ey! Anzu! You ready for some work?” 

Jounouchi came into the hut, carrying a huge folded pelt in his arms, big enough to hide most of his body behind it, and big enough to make him unable to see where he went. Yuugi pulled a face as Jounouchi walked into the shelf that had been organised earlier and caused the neatly sorted leather patches fall to the floor. 

“Oh just drop it on the floor Jounouchi and stop making a mess out of my workshop!” Anzu yelled at him. Jounouchi squeaked at that and instead of putting the pelt on the floor, he fell backwards and landed on the floor, with the folded pelt on top of him. 

Yuugi would’ve laughed at the scene but Anzu didn’t have the face of someone who would appreciate a joke right now. Instead, he left the hut with a quick goodbye and could hear Jounouchi being scolded behind him. A small snicker did escape him, though, but it died almost immediately. His talk with Anzu had left him feeling empty and he didn’t feel like going back home just yet. 

_ I wonder if Ryou is busy _, he thought. It couldn’t hurt to check at least, so he started walking towards the healer’s cave. 

* * *

“Ryou?” 

As Yuugi entered the cave through the thick leather drape in its entrance, he looked around after the healer. He still managed to be caught off guard when a ghost-like fluff appeared from another room. 

“Yuugi? Are you hurt?” Ryou immediately asked. 

He couldn’t help but snicker. “Can’t I visit a friend without being in need of their services?” 

Ryou’s concerned face disappeared and was replaced by amusement. “Well, you _ do _stop by because of my services more often than to just visit, so I think it’s only fair I ask.” 

“Ouch. Now I’m hurt, Ryou.” 

“I’m sorry, Yuugi, but I can’t heal the truth.” 

Yuugi laughed. “You might want to be prepared for Jounouchi to arrive, he just got buried in a mountain of leather at the workshop with Anzu scolding him.” 

Ryou laughed as well. “Oh dear, that sounds serious, I better prepare my strongest salve, then. Was your catch _ that _impressive?” 

“You should’ve seen the moose, Ryou, it was massive enough for Red-Eyes and Flamwell to struggle all the way home, and it’s not like Honda and Jounouchi made things easier.” 

“Let me guess, Jounouchi’s pride had something to do with it?” 

Yuugi nodded. “I was almost happy about being a tag-along this time.” 

“Yuugi, you’re never happy about that.” 

“I said almost.” 

Ryou smiled, and suddenly had a somber look in his eyes. “It didn’t stop you from thinking about soulmates, though, am I right?” 

He didn’t have any leather patches to drop now, thankfully, but the effect was still the same and Yuugi sighed in annoyance. “You’re the second one today guessing that.” 

“Ah, I should’ve known Anzu would raise the question as well. And judging from your reaction, it wasn’t a good talk either.” 

“Not really, it went as it usually does.” 

“She only means well, Yuugi, and it’s too easy to forget how much idleness can mess with one’s confidence when one has a settled role to play.” 

“You remember it.” 

“I don’t, really, I’ve been a healer for too long to remember what that truly feels like. I just know its effects shouldn’t be underestimated. She does have a point, though.” 

Yuugi sat down in one of the chairs, shoulders slumped. “I know, but it doesn’t help.” 

Ryou went to his cupboard and filled two mugs with water, and returned to Yuugi, giving him one of them as he settled in another chair. 

“I know it doesn’t, and it’s too bad that the only prescription for your troubles is time, it goes badly with the curse that is impatience.” 

Yuugi smirked. “Are we being philosophical today?” 

“Not really, do you think I am?” 

“You understand at least, and that’s more than enough.” 

Ryou smiled at Yuugi and took a sip of his own water, seemingly a bit flustered. Yuugi smiled and they sat silent for a while. This was what Yuugi loved the most about Ryou; open-minded and so aware of one’s boundaries without patronising. He could probably have been someone Yuugi would’ve loved to have as a mate as well if Ryou had been able to carry a child. 

“Don’t you ever think about your potential mate, Ryou? Have I ever asked?”

“No, you haven’t, but I don’t think about it at all. I’m content living together with my brother and Malik.” 

Yuugi frowned a little. “I don’t understand how, though, all Bakura and Malik seem to do is fight and banter with each other.” 

“Not every bond looks like sunshine and swirling flower petals, Yuugi, and I know you can see their devotion, so it’s no use bringing them up.” 

Yuugi didn’t reply and instead took a huge sip from his mug. Bakura and Malik was, indeed, a special case and definitely not what he would call a pastoral relationship, and their bickering could be unpleasant to watch at times. But Ryou was right, the devotion between them could be seen just as easily as the one between Seto and Kisara, and they still managed to bring the jealousy out of him. 

He thought about how Malik and Bakura were the bond he didn’t want to have. He wanted intimacy and comfort, not endless quarrelling. 

“But while we’re talking about them, have you ever thought that you…?” Ryou cutting himself of made Yuugi lift his head and look at his friend, hesitation clear in his face. 

“Thought about what?”

Ryou opened his mouth and closed it, seemingly considering something, but then his gaze relaxed. “No, it was nothing, don’t worry about it.” 

Yuugi raised an eyebrow but didn’t ask anything further. Instead, he emptied his mug and raised from the chair. 

“It’s getting late and I should head back to my cave.” 

Ryou nodded and frowned his eyebrows in a joking manner. “Have you even announced your return to Natsuki?” 

“I think mum has heard about it already so it should be okay.” 

“Most likely”, Ryou snickered softly. “I see you later, then?” 

“Yeah, see you later, Ryou,” Yuugi said and exited the cave. 

* * *

“Mum, I’m home.” Yuugi greeted as he passed through the thick leather drape and got inside. Natsuki sat at the table, busy with sewing what seemed to be a jacket. Yuugi mentally facepalmed himself for forgetting the jackets back at Anzu, but they wouldn’t run anywhere. 

Natsuki lifted her head. “Oh, welcome back Yuugi. How was the hunt? I heard you caught something big.”

“We tracked down a mountain moose, probably the biggest one I’ve ever seen,” Yuugi said as he sat down at the table. Natsuki nodded towards a bowl of mushroom stew she had saved for him and only now did Yuugi hear the growling in his stomach.

“It took a while for you to get home, though. How come?” Natsuki asked as Yuugi started to eat.

“We were barely gone two and a half days mum,” Yuugi said between chews.

“No, I meant when you came back.”

“Oh. Well, Mai sent me off to the leather workshop to help Anzu arrange space for all the leather, and then I visited Ryou- No, I wasn’t injured, just wanted to drop by.” He quickly added when his mother lifted her head and gave him a worried look.

Natsuki relaxed a bit. “I see. Yes, Anzu stopped by with these jackets that need lining.” Yuugi felt a wave of gratitude of not having to remember them anymore, while Natsuki continued. “She told me you'd helped her. She also mentioned your talk about soulmates.” 

Yuugi almost swallowed his spoonful of stew wrong. What was it with people today and discussing it with him? Yes, it was related to his thoughts about filling a role, but he hadn’t given it much thought during the hunt. And he certainly didn’t want to talk about it with _everyone_. 

"I just don't want to be in half, that's all," Yuugi muttered while chewing, hoping Natsuki would drop the subject. She didn't. 

“Yuugi, you’re not half an elf without a mate, you’re a whole person; soulmates are like two handfuls of water, join them and they’ll become as one. You’re not supposed to wait consciously, it’ll happen in due time, so shouldn’t you just... live, Yuugi? 

_ Not the water metaphor again _, Yuugi thought sourly, appetite lost. 

“Thanks for the meal.” Yuugi murmured as he stood up from the table, feeling drained to the core from everyone’s ‘considering’ thoughts. Natsuki opened her mouth as if she wanted to add something more, but stopped herself, and instead told him goodnight behind his back as he got to his room.

The drape to his room was opened to the side and Yuugi pulled the thick cloth behind him as he got in. He let out a sigh, finally, he was alone. There had been too much focus on his troubles with soulmates for one day. All he wanted to do now was to sleep. As comfortable as it was sleeping in the wild with Gandora curled up around him for warmth, nothing could beat the softness of a real bed.

He took off his belt and went through the content of his small survival pouch. Not that he had used anything in it that needed to be refilled, but one could never be too careful. And Yuugi preferred to play it safe. He hadn’t used his knife either but it was still taken out of its sheath nonetheless and he thoroughly cleaned it before putting it back and put it into the drawer together with everything else.

Taking off his boots was always the most relieving part, especially after days out in the wild; having two-thirds of his legs covered in thick leather for days was tiresome. Yuugi happily wiggled his toes before stripping out of the rest of his clothes and put on his night garb, exchanging even more leather and thick wool to lighter cotton tunic and pants, only now feeling how tired he was in mind and body. Sleeping would be nice indeed.

Not so gracefully with barely opened eyes, he crawled under his fur blanket and hardly managed to get comfortable before he fell asleep.

* * *

_ He was walking in a barren land where everything was burned and coloured in a crispy black. The air smelled of death, making it hard to breathe, and the silence was roaring in his ears. He didn’t know where he was or where he was going, all he knew was how he needed to move forward. Somewhere in his mind, he knew he should be terrified, and he couldn’t understand why he wasn’t. _

_Loud thunder could be heard in the distance, almost sounding like deep bellied laughter. It angered him and he couldn’t understand that either. He could now feel an increasing pain for every step he took. It wasn’t so bad in the beginning, barely a bother, but it grew worse with every minute, becoming more and more intense the longer he walked, until he collapsed on the ground, unable to get up._

_An overwhelming feeling of surrender overcame him, and now, he was terrified. But this wasn’t his feelings, where did they come from? _

_He tried to desperately get up but all he managed to do was raise his upper body, resting on his elbows. Lifting his head hurt immensely and he had to be slow and careful so he wouldn’t faint._

_When he finally managed to raise his head, he immediately wished he hadn’t. A huge wave was coming towards him, red as blood and he didn’t dare to believe it was anything else. He wanted to escape, he needed to escape, his whole mind screamed in panic and he opened his mouth to shout for help. But no noise came out of his mouth. And who would’ve listened? There was no one but him here._

_ Without him realising it, his whole lower body had been sinking into the ground, now making it impossible to move. _

_ He panicked. He didn’t want to die. He didn’t want to give up. This wasn’t him. Where was his real mind? Where had his feelings gone? Who was he sensing inside? _

_ The wave crashed over him with a loud roar, pressing the air out of his lungs and his whole body grew numb as he fell into a dark abyss- _

Yuugi woke up with a scream, his whole body sweaty and shaken. The dream faded within seconds but the dread, fear and panic still filled his mind. He hadn’t had a nightmare this intense for decades and he couldn’t understand why he had one now.

He tried to calm his breathing, and slow down his beating heart, knees up against his chest as he hugged himself tight.

_It was just a dream, _ he thought. _ Just a dream, reality isn’t that horrible and there’s no pain. It was just a dream _.

No, there was no pain. Despite the fright inside of him, he was okay.

But… something still didn’t feel right.

His sweaty body was starting to cool down now, making him shudder.

“Yuugi? Are you okay?”

Natsuki came inside with a luminous stone in her hand, waking up the other stones on the walls to cast a soft light in the room.

Yuugi nodded. “I just had a nightmare, I’m okay.”

She sat on the bedside. “You’re soaked, it must’ve been intense.”

“Yes, it was.” Yuugi hugged himself even harder.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

He paused. “I don’t remember what happened, I was just scared. But I… I remember a feeling of… surrender, like I didn’t want to try anymore. But it wasn’t my own feelings. I don’t know what it was.”

Natsuki still looked concerned but only nodded.

“We better wash you up before you try and sleep again.” She said instead, voice soft.

Yuugi nodded and pulled away the blanket and got up-

Natsuki made a loud gasp and almost dropped the stone as one of her hands covered her mouth. Yuugi looked up and met his mother’s shocked face.

“Mum?”

“I need to get Ryou, don’t go anywhere!” She said in panic before quickly running through the opening.

Get… Ryou? But why?

He quickly looked over his body, trying to see what his mother had seen.

And he felt sick to the core. Panicked, he pulled the shirt over his head, wet from his intense sweating…

His stomach was covered in blood from what seemed to be lots of cuts.

This…

What…

Where did…

How…

Had he done it in his sleep? Was it the result of his all too vivid and erratic dream? Or had the dream been like that _ because _ of the cuttings?

Yuugi quickly went to the drawer and took out his knife, pulling it from its sheath. Only to find it was clean without any smell of blood. And no matter how thoroughly he checked, there was no evidence of it being used recently. If he had cut himself, he had been equally good at cleaning the blade afterwards.

But who cut themselves in their sleep? Did that kind of sleepwalk even exist? 

If it did, he would be terrified of himself.

Steps could be heard and both Ryou and Natsuki came running inside, with Anzu just behind them.

“I heard Natsuki screaming in Ryou’s cave so I got worried and came as well,” Anzu explained with her face slightly abashed before it turned into shock when she saw Yuugi’s front. “That looks horrible!”

Yuugi wasn’t sure he wanted her to be there; not being able to explain where the cuts came from felt embarrassing. But he did appreciate her concern.

Ryou frowned before he came up to Yuugi, carefully examining his stomach.

“How did this happen, Yuugi?”

“I… I don’t know. I had a nightmare and when I woke up it had just happened. I thought I was just sweating.”

Ryou seemed sceptical but still held out his hands only centimetres from Yuugi’s stomach, as he began his healing magic. Light started to glow around his hands and thin threads of gold streamed out of them, sneaking their way into Yuugi’s skin and into the cuts. Yuugi closed his eyes, Ryou’s healing was always pleasantly warm and he felt himself relaxing more and more. The horrified feelings the dream had left him with faded, and even if he wouldn’t get to know where the cuts came from, they didn’t feel as scary now.

Suddenly and without warning, the warmth disappeared. Yuugi opened his eyes, surprised that the job was done so fast, only to see that the cuts were still there. He looked up at Ryou’s face.

Wide, frightened eyes met his. Yuugi swallowed, the fear coming back in full force.

“Yuugi, I... I’m so sorry, I can’t heal you.” Ryou apologised, tears almost welling up.

Yuugi had never heard Ryou say that. He knew the healer had had fights he simply had to give up because it was too late, and Yuugi would never understand how Ryou could bear the guilt of not being able to save someone. But this… this wasn’t a serious injury, was it? He felt fine! He almost got teary-eyed himself, was it too late for him after all? Was he going to…?

Ryou didn’t say anything; instead, he took hold of Yuugi’s hand and led him to Yuugi’s washing basin, took a cloth and started cleaning his stomach. Yuugi wanted to ask what was going on, but he was too scared.

It was only then he realised the cuts didn’t hurt. It didn’t even felt like they were there. Surely they should’ve hurt a little? Especially as Ryou was touching them?

With all the blood gone, the cuts were now visible. Ryou started crying for real now. “I’m so sorry, Yuugi.” He whispered.

Yuugi’s chest tightened and he tried to look down on his stomach to see what Ryou meant, but he didn’t see what it could’ve been. 

Ryou turned Yuugi towards Anzu and Natsuki, and both of them gasped, Natsuki with both hands over her mouth.

“Can someone please tell me what’s happening?” Yuugi begged with a voice higher than usual.

Anzu hesitated but she took down the mirror Yuugi had on the wall and came up to him, holding it so he could see his stomach reflected in it.

His heart pounded hard in his tightened chest and he almost didn’t dare to watch.

Yuugi slowly looked down. And his heart almost stopped.

They were a bit hard to read in the mirror but the cuts formed letters. All four of them knew what the letters meant, even if the meaning of them was horribly terrifying and cryptic.

Messages revealing an elf’s soulmate were always written in glowing colour, usually gold. Never before had any of them heard of a message written in cuts. And while the messages were always of a vague nature, it was still possible to make a guess of how and where and why a mate might be found.

Combined with its vagueness and the way the letters were written, Yuugi was shaken to the core:

He couldn’t believe it. None of them could.

Yuugi had a soulmate. And she was most likely dying.

* * *

The floor of the cell was cold, much colder than earlier. If it was because of nightfall or a howling wind finding its way down through small drafts in the walls, no one could tell. And the prisoner inside didn’t find any point in guessing. Time didn’t exist down here in the dungeon. Without knowing how far back it had been, the prisoner did remember back where they had tried to make sense of time and guess how much had passed. But to no avail. The guards came and went as they pleased, sometimes with what must’ve been days between, and sometimes not even hours passed by. 

Feeding happened when the guards felt like it, and not at specific times. Days and nights blurred together, weeks and months might’ve passed without their knowledge. But it wasn’t like the prisoner cared anymore. The pain and torment they’d endured had slowly turned them into a mindless shell of who they once were.

Because trolls weren’t careful with their toys.

Although the prisoner could barely recall the stories they had grown up with now, the descriptions of trolls in those stories was that they were the most cunning and gruesome beings of all the races in this world and one that shouldn’t be trusted too easily. Greedier than dwarfs and thirstier for violence than the humans, they weren’t a race pleasant to meet.

But the stories never said anything about kidnapping, imprisoning, torture and murder for the fun of it.

The elf hadn’t been alone in this dungeon, there had been more captives and newer ones were imprisoned every now and then. Wood elves, dwarfs, even some unlucky orcs and smaller trolls, had all been in the cells before, as well as now. Prisoners had been killed every now and then, either shortly after being imprisoned, or as a result of the never-ending torture the guards put them all through. The guards had been especially humorous with the orcs and trolls, and while the elf hadn’t been able to see much from their cell, they’d heard the horrible sounds of painful screams and guttural gurgles, cracking of bones and what must’ve been flesh being torn apart, making them wonder if the bigger trolls had cannibalistic tendencies but the elf didn’t really want to know.

Why the guards had been less interested in the elf was beyond their guesses, especially since the guards had been quite violent with the wood elves. Perhaps the trolls didn’t find much sport in torturing _ them _ specifically.

It didn’t matter. The elf might’ve been the luckiest one in the dungeon, but lucky was an unfitting word to use here, and they’d still had their fair share of torture. Their body and mind were broken down to nothing, and all they did was wait for death to come, and preferably sooner rather than later. The hope of being rescued had been long lost and wishes and dreams of seeing their loved ones again had disappeared a long time ago.

They had forgotten the sounds of the wind, the feeling of vegetation against their fingers, and the taste of whatever had been their favourite food. They had forgotten the warmth of the sun, being in the constant cold.

Curling up, hugging themselves real tight, they still tried to conserve what little body warmth they had, more out of habit rather than a conscious act.

At least the floor seemed to have warmed up a little now, even if it wasn’t much. Their shuddering stopped though, and that was perhaps enough.

Eyes flashed open; since when had the floor ever been warm, even from their own body temperature?

Carefully, they released themselves from their own tight grip and touched the stone tiles, only to discover the floor was just as cold as it always were. But… there was warmth somewhere, and if the floor wasn’t the source or the thing being affected, then what could…?

Then they felt it. The warmth was coming from their stomach. With stiff, aching hands they carefully touched the dirty and shredded tunic, feeling the heat radiating pleasantly through the fabric.

They looked down on their stomach, eyes more widened than they’d been for who knew how long. Did their eyes deceive them or was there a glow as well?

As quickly as their body allowed them, they grabbed the stained metal plate on which the guards left food for them. It wasn’t the best kind of mirror, but perhaps it would be good enough.

Slowly, and with much effort, the elf sat up and placed the plate in their lap, holding it up with one hand as they lifted the hem of their tunic with the other.

Bright light almost hurt their eyes, but a huge wave of hope long lost came over them, bathing them in such unexpected euphoria that their chest started to ache.

On the dark skin, writing in golden letters, they could read the most comforting words in their entire existence: 

They couldn’t believe it. They couldn’t believe it but they knew it was true, and while tears of pain and anguish had stopped flowing early on in their captivity, tears of joy now ran down their cheeks.

They had a soulmate. And they would be rescued.

Putting the plate aside and lying down again, they hugged their stomach even harder. They would survive this, and there was going to be a happy life for them in the end.

Cheeks hurting from muscles not being used for a long time, a beaming smile made the dark cell bright as day.

And out in the darkness, their raspy voice made a whispering promise:

“I’ll wait for you.”


	2. Dismay and resolve

”Yuugi! Don’t do anything stupid now!”

“I have to save her!”

“You don’t even know where she is!” 

Anzu ran after Yuugi out of the cave, trying to stop him. He had been too quick with grabbing a new shirt and his jacket, dressing fast and carelessly. With a loud, deep-throated growl, he called for Gandora. If the dragon had been out for a small hunt or had just been close by because she had felt Yuugi’s distress was hard to tell, but she came quickly diving from the sky. Not being as fast as Anzu to react, Ryou and Natsuki came after and exited the cave just in time to see Yuugi jump onto Gandora on the go and fly away.

Anzu slowed down her running and was about to call for her own dragon Valio when Ryou caught up to her and took a hold of her arm. “No Anzu, leave him be!”

“We can’t let him go like this! He won’t be helping anyone by searching without a plan!”

“I know, but he needs to realise it himself after he has calmed down! We won’t be able to do that for him.”

Anzu looked irresolutely at Natsuki but was only met by sad eyes.

“Ryou’s right Anzu, Yuugi won’t listen to anyone until he’s set his head right again.”

Anzu looked between the healer and the seamstress, then she sighed in defeat and nodded, seemingly unhappy with the decision. She turned her head and looked after Yuugi but he was almost gone out of sight. Ryou, sensing her worried mind, put a hand on her shoulder.

“Let’s give him a day. If he’s not back by then, we go looking for him. “

Anzu’s worry didn’t leave her eyes, but she smiled gratefully at Ryou, and her nod now was less reluctant.

As they all turned to go back to their respective caves, Anzu turned her head to look back at the direction where Yuugi had disappeared.

_ Please be safe and please come back soon,_ she prayed, hoping a divine being would listen.

* * *

Dawn hadn’t been too far away when Yuugi flew away, and while his focus was elsewhere, he could still appreciate getting more and more light, helping him with his desperate search. There wasn’t a second to lose and he couldn’t waste a single one; for everyone passing, his mate was in even more danger. For every second, the most important piece in his life could risk languishing into a dark abyss. For every second, his future and his wishes were at risk of disappearing.

Frantically, he looked around as they flew over the hugely wide plains to the south of their mountain, fearing to see an unconscious elf lying somewhere, hurt in the open cold. Gandora flew as low as she could, but in the speed Yuugi wanted, it was hard to avoid hitting the ground with her wings, making it even more difficult for her to keep an eye out as well for any suspicious shapes on the ground.

So when Yuugi suddenly screamed, she jerked so intensively she almost hit the ground.

“Ganny, over there! Quickly!”

Following her master’s eyes, she saw a weird shape in the distance. Yuugi’s frenzy affected her as well, and so she pushed herself to get there as soon as possible.

Yuugi didn’t even bother to wait for Gandora to land before he jumped off and ran towards the object. She landed as close as she could without disturbing her master.

He knelt beside the object, almost too scared to do anything. It was a body and it was dead, and the proportions seemed similar to the wood elves from deep within the forests; slightly longer and more athletic than the dragon riders. It was impossible to tell what colour the clothes had been originally and the light of daybreak didn’t help.

Hand on his stomach, he touched the body with a shaking hand and turned it towards him.

It wasn’t an elf. Instead, he looked at the remains of a troll, dead since a long time, and probably long forgotten since no one had taken care of it. As Yuugi took a better look at it, he realised he had already seen this troll last year when he had been out flying with Anzu and she had seen the body. It had taken a while to explain that trolls decay in a different matter than any other race, with their thick skin making it hard for decomposing creatures to do anything about them. Usually, the ground swallows the bodies after a while, and before that, the insides get smaller and smaller, deranging their forms.

Yuugi tightened the grip on his stomach and tried to take a deep breath but it still ended up too shallow.

Gandora came up behind him and carefully nudged her head against Yuugi’s, making Yuugi snap out of his trance. He carefully stood up and finally released the grip on his stomach. Feeling numb, he slowly got up on Gandora again and tried to regain enough focus to decide where to next. He had to continue scanning the plains but if she might be somewhere else hurting, perhaps even…

No, he didn’t want to think about the scenario of her possibly dying, not ever.

‘River’ Gandora managed to suggest as a hesitant, questionable picture in Yuugi’s mind. Yuugi could barely thank her before his frantic mind took over again and he urged her to fly. This time they had to hurry, the river was long, and with dangerous currents and small waterfalls along the stream. Spring had yet to warm up the water so even if one didn’t drown, the possibility of freezing to death in the cold water was all too imminent.

_ Please let me find you unharmed… and alive,_ Yuugi thought, trying to swallow the lump in his throat as the first rays of sunlight guided their way.

* * *

The day had shifted into noon when Yuugi had to give up the river.

He had taken Gandora to the very west where it had its beginning, where the lake of the Elvish Horse Nomads was, and only a day of flying to the human capital in the south. They had turned and followed it along with the forests south of it to the east, checked the smaller streams that ran into the bushlands, smaller forests and groves and the western plains where the riders hunted bison in the autumn. They had checked the shores of the smaller lakes connected to it, and they had checked the ponds at the outer rims of the forests in the southeast.

They had almost reached the marshlands and yet no sign of a body had been seen, not even from other races. Yuugi landed Gandora on the small hills separating the bushland from the swamp; his shoulders slumped and his breathing was all too ragged from the humid air as he looked across the wetlands in front of him.

There was no way he could search the marshlands thoroughly. It was too big, too foggy, and the air only got harder to breathe the deeper one travelled into it, especially for dragons.

Panic rose quickly in his chest, the cuts on his stomach almost burning with the anxiety inside. What if she actually _ was _lying somewhere in the swamp, slowly sinking into the ground, suffering from sickness or wounds or the cold water or inhaling the murky air?

Yuugi almost gave in to the impulse of flying over it anyway, but Gandora stopped him. ‘Scared’ she told him. Yuugi felt a sting of guilt for trying to demand something like this from Gandora; she wasn’t a breed that handled fog very well.

Reluctantly, Yuugi turned away from the swamp and urged Gandora to fly to the northern plains. He tried to push his irrationality aside and be level headed instead; anyone who enters the marshlands hurt or sick was doomed to die and become buried in the bog.

And if his soulmate was dead, he would know it. But it wasn’t comforting enough.

* * *

Afternoon came and passed. Yuugi and Gandora searched as fast as they could from the air, but no one could be found. Yuugi would’ve searched even more but when he felt a tremble from Gandora, accompanied with a blurry ‘tired’, he knew they had to stop. Gandora had been flying much longer than she’d ever done in a day, and it had been a long time since this intensely.

Yuugi looked around and raised his eyebrows. It wasn’t on purpose but he realised they had made their way close to his and Ganny’s secret place. Persuading her to use the last of her strength, Yuugi managed to incite Gandora up the mountain, until they arrived at the cliff and the dragon was free to collapse to the ground.

As he got off her back and down on the ground, only now did he realised how tired he was as well, so he sat down beside his dragon, his back against her heaving body. Yuugi caressed her scaly skin; she had done well today and deserved a good rest.

Yuugi needed to rest, too, but he couldn’t. His chest felt so constrained he could barely breathe and every heartbeat hurt. As the adrenaline from all flying and frenetic searching started to pass away, the anxiety and panic became less erratic but instead, now more compressed into an aching lump inside.

The sun has just started to descend, casting an orange-red light over the land, but Yuugi was too distracted to care about the beautiful view.

_ Where are you? Where can I find you? _He thought as he pulled up his legs and hugged himself, feeling how the cuts pulsated but still not revealing any further details to him. His grip tightened. Was there any hope at finding her at all? Was there any chance of finding clues to her whereabouts?

Yuugi hadn’t checked the forests in the south, but the odds of finding a white baby dragon in a snowstorm was way higher than the chance of finding his mate in the woods. Gandora wouldn’t be able to follow him in between the trees and would have to fly above the treetops, making the search much less efficient, as well as harder.

The only rational thought that had started to grow in his mind was that his soulmate had most likely been kidnapped and taken away since she needed help, and so the option of finding her tribe looked like an easier task.

But Yuugi’s discouragement didn’t go away, despite the more comforting thought. He only knew of a handful of tribes, who could tell how many more existed? Going through them all to check if a tribe member was missing would take too much time, and his soulmate risked dying on him.

He shuddered at the thought of not even getting a chance to find his mate and know who she was.

Besides, would she even belong to a tribe? Eremite elves existed, living alone or together with their mate, travelling the world or having a home somewhere away from any potential unwanted encounters. 

Or perhaps she belonged in a tribe, but she had been gone for too long and so, no one would remember her?

Yuugi’s mind started racing with too many different scenarios, all of them disheartening and impossible to do anything about without more knowledge.

Suddenly, Gandora’s face came into his view as she curled up around him in comfort and she made an anxious grunt. Only then did Yuugi realise his cheeks were wet with tears.

Yuugi shifted so he was lying against Gandora with an arm around her thick neck. He closed his eyes and let the tears run free. The dragon tried her best to soothe her master’s troubled mind and started purring.

“What can I do, Ganny? I don’t know where to go.” He whispered.

Gandora didn’t know either, and continued her consoling purring, curling up even closer around Yuugi as he buried his head against her skin, crying silently.

* * *

The stars were shining bright when Yuugi’s tears finally stopped flowing. His head was throbbing due to a lack of water and food all day. He was tired to the core, physically as well as mentally, but knew he wouldn’t be able to fall asleep even if he tried. He couldn’t relax enough. 

Gandora had gone off to find some food for them both, and so Yuugi had lit up a fire in the cave nearby, his eyes unfocused as he stared into the flames. He hadn’t made much progress in coming up with a plan for what path to follow.

Yuugi had checked the message on his stomach a couple of times to see if any new clues had appeared. but somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew it was pointless. He only had those two words to follow and nothing else.

_ I wonder what she has written on her body,_ he thought and shuddered at the idea that her message was a less terrifying kind and instead of a hopeful nature, making her put aspirant trust in him that he risked disappointing. Or fail. 

He shuddered at the thought. Failing was not an option if he wanted a future, a whole future, and a life where he would finally feel content. 

Destiny was cruel. Was he supposed to be the hero for his mate? He who barely had enough skill to hunt for himself... how would he be able to save another? Yuugi wasn’t particularly brave or strong, in his own opinion. Why would he be able to face whatever horrors lay before him? 

He closed his eyes. 

Destiny _ was _cruel. But destiny was also an unyielding truth, far from clairvoyant, but still mysteriously knowing which factors would lead to the best possible outcome. 

Yuugi bit the inside of his cheeks. If he was the one chosen to save her, then didn’t that mean no one else would be able to?

A small wind went through the cave and the fire flamed up a bit, lightening up the rocks, even more, creating a warmth that wasn’t there seconds ago. 

The sound of flapping wings could suddenly be heard outside before it ended with a loud thump. Gandora came inside with a couple of mountain squirrels between her teeth, dropping them on the cave floor. Proud about her catch she looked up towards her master.

Only to see him standing with eyebrows knitted in a deep frown and clenched fists glaring into the flames.

“I won’t give up Ganny,” Yuugi said with a voice dark and resolute. “She is out there somewhere, and she’s waiting for me to come. I won’t let her suffer any more than she has to. I will find her and I will save her.”

It took a few seconds for Gandora to react, but when she did, she let out a growl as she stretched out her neck and spread her wings as much as the cave allowed her.

Yuugi laughed silently before he walked around the fire and patted her cheeks.

“We need to fly back to the village. I’ll ask people for help and see if anyone else has any suggestions. I doubt there will be no one able to help.”

A ‘what if’ sneaked its way inside Yuugi’s mind again but he waved it away. He wouldn’t panic again; he would come up with new, rational solutions.

“We’ll probably need to fly a lot more and as fast as we can, but I promise, we’re not going to stress ourselves out this time. I’m sorry, Ganny.”

Gandora gave him a careful head-butt in gratitude and Yuugi smiled.

“Come on Ganny, let’s go home.” He said and turned to put out the fire when the dragon made a low bark.

Yuugi turned back to her. Gandora just looked him in the eye and huffed in annoyance. He raised his eyebrows. “What?” He asked.

She nodded demonstratively towards the squirrels. 

‘Hungry’

Yuugi looked down at the squirrels and then back to Gandora, and snickered as he shook his head. “Fine, we’ll eat first, and then fly back, okay?”

Resolutely, Gandora lied down, blocking the exit, further making her point. Yuugi let out a laugh.

* * *

A crescent moon had reached its highest point and Ryou was on the brink of surrender to his concern for Yuugi. He had told Anzu to wait a day before they would take action and search for their friend but it had been arduous to follow the suggestion himself. Distracting himself with teaching Shizuka how to mix more complex salves hadn’t eased his worried mind. He was grateful Shizuka was brilliant enough to still learn from his unfocused instructions, especially for such vital information necessary for advanced tasks such as tissue repair and vigour increase.

Ryou had, after that, spent most of the afternoon idly transcribing old notes and scribbles into proper texts for his archive, but drifted away from the task plenty of times, staring at nothing. Something he had continued doing during dinner as well, ending up with Bakura threatening to force-feed him unless he snapped out of it. When explaining the situation, both he and Malik had promised to help search for Yuugi if it came to that, but while Ryou appreciated their consideration, it couldn’t ease his mind.

_ Perhaps I should call the others and head out now; it’s been almost a day,_ Ryou thought and exited his cave, ready to call for Benpia to come.

But as he lifted his head towards the higher cliffs with the dragon nests, he saw how a dragon with its rider landed. The rider got off and while the dragon went inside its cave, the rider walked down the path hurriedly but determined rather than stressed.

He sighed as his relief made him smile, his tensed shoulders relaxing. He wasn’t even aware of how stiff his distress had made him.

Yuugi came walking towards him, also carrying a smile that was anything but the panic he’d shown when he flew away. The healer caught his friend in a tight hug. “I was worried about you.”

“I wasn’t gone for that long Ryou,” Yuugi said with a chuckle while hugging back, clearly bashful despite his light tone.

Ryou let go, smiling at Yuugi before he remembered why Yuugi left in the first place, and his joy was exchanged for concern.

“Did you find anything?”

Yuugi shook his head. “Nothing.”

Ryou’s grip on Yuugi’s shoulder tightened a bit, unsure if Yuugi needed comfort or not. But Yuugi’s calm expression softened his mind.

“Then, did you come up with a plan?”

“I’m not sure, but I thought I would ask for help this time. Perhaps someone has some knowledge to share.”

It didn’t sound like a very solid plan, but Ryou didn’t feel like pointing it out. If it was the only idea Yuugi had, and by all means, it wasn’t a bad one, he wanted to support his friend fully.

“Do you think Mai is still up?” Yuugi asked.

“Most likely, it’s not late enough for everyone to be asleep just yet.”

“Do you want to follow me?”

Ryou smiled. “What kind of silly question is that?”

Yuugi didn’t answer, but Ryou could see the gratitude in the purple eyes.

* * *

In the dungeon, the atmosphere reeked of fear and terror. The dark-skinned elf had escaped to the farthest corner in their cell and tried to shut the sounds out by turning their head away and covering their ears.

The guards had caught even more trolls and the elf couldn’t understand why they were imprisoning so many of their own kind. Granted, the trolls in the cells were much smaller and less vicious than the cousins catching them. And the guards had said something that could be interpreted as “wipe out the lesser races” but whether or not it was solely about other trolls was unclear to the elf.

The prisoners had been tortured before they’d been thrown into their cells. One of them seemed to have died already; the elf could hear another troll quietly begging for them to get up. The elf could also hear a few of them whimpering, whispering pleads for someone to save them and let them survive.

But the elf knew none of them would. It was just a matter of time.

None of the prisoners had to wait for long before loud footsteps could be heard at the stairs. The whimpering got even louder, and the elf tried even harder to shut all sounds out. They knew the guards wouldn’t touch them specifically, not tonight when much more enjoyable toys could be played with. But their body was still shaking and their chest felt torn apart.

The message on their stomach had stopped glowing as intensely as it had when it first appeared, but it was still warm to the touch and had been a huge comfort for the elf, helping them feel and breathe again. But with that, their compassion returned in full force, making their captivity just as unbearable as their early days in the dungeon.

The elf pressed their hands as hard as they could over their ears, but nothing could shut out the screams, cries and gurgling sounds as the trolls were tortured, mutilated and killed, one after the other. 


	3. Chilly expertise

****“So let me see if I get this right: you were blessed with a soul message presented in a way that no one here has ever heard of, and instead of telling everyone what had happened, you panicked and flew off blindly in a futile attempt to find your mate, despite not having a single clue to follow?”

Yuugi felt small where he stood in front of the chieftain’s seat. Mai had had a few visitors over when he and Ryou came in, and none of them had left the hut. Soulmates were a matter that concerned every rider. It didn’t stop Yuugi from feeling like he was in a trial, though.

“My apologies, chief, I got caught in the heat of the moment and-”

Mai raised her palm, cutting him off. “You performed a stupid act and wasted a day, Yuugi, you didn’t commit a crime. But as a dragon-rider, you should know better than to give in to panic. The nature of your soul message is no excuse.”

Yuugi lowered his head. “I understand, chief.”

“Now, to continue the matter, you said your message was a simple cry for help?” Mai dropped her raised palm back to its earlier place on the armrest.

Yuugi lifted his head and made a small nod. “Two words only, and nothing else.” 

“That’s ridiculous.” 

Yuugi turned his head to the side, trying not to let Seto’s mocking tone get to him. 

“It’s bad enough your message has such a strange demeanour, but a message that cryptic is nothing but an improbability.” 

Yuugi opened his mouth to retort back, but Mai cut them off yet again. 

“There’s a first for everything, Seto, and whether we like it or not, it can’t be changed, only dealt with.” 

Seto made a displeased grunt but didn’t say anything more. 

“The problem,” Mai continued, “is how we go from here. It’s clear that time is of the essence and there can be _ no more delays _.” As she said the last part, she fixed her eyes on Yuugi, sending another wave of shame through his body. 

“From what I can tell, our archive hasn’t been updated for a long time when it comes to known elven tribes in our world.” Raphael, Mai’s soulmate, said, standing beside the seat with his arms folded. “It’ll be impossible to search through them all since we don’t know how many exist, or if some have vanished without us knowing.” 

Yuugi had already concluded the tribes himself but he hadn’t thought about the archive. Crossing that off the list of helpful aiding tools was a loss of what could’ve been a huge asset in his quest. 

“So what we need is help from the outside.” Yuugi heard behind him, Ryou making a statement rather than asking. 

“Seems like there’s no other choice in the matter, which only leaves us with an additional obstacle that needs to be cleared as soon as possible,” Mai said in a disapproval tone. 

“Isn’t there a possibility to get news from the wood elf tribe to the south, the ones living close to the trolls? They know and hear more about the world than anyone nearby.” 

For once, Seto’s haughty voice had something valuable in it and Yuugi found himself feeling grateful for being taken seriously at last. 

“That’s too risky, Seto,” Mai said. “We don’t have time to follow leads that may not lead to anything. None of us has had business with that clan for years. And if the answers are located too far to the east, they won’t be of help anyway. Their territories don’t go that far.” 

Seto tsk’d and turned his head away, apparently giving up now, and Yuugi sighed mentally, frustrated with how short Seto’s interest had lasted. 

“May I say something, chief?” 

Kisara had been standing a little to the side, almost hiding beside Seto since Yuugi hadn’t been aware of her presence, but now, she took a step forward. Mai gave her permission with a nod. 

“My birth tribe, the Snow Elves to the north, is the oldest elvish kingdom in our world, with knowledge passed down from tens of thousands of years and the last surviving archive where the complete history of our kind exists. They’re the most skilful tribe in the world when it comes to the ancient magic lost upon so many of us. I don’t mean to sound too biased or pretentious so you have my deepest apologies for that, but I can’t imagine them being of no help in this quest.” 

The silence that followed was intense, and Yuugi could barely hold himself together from the excitement. This was the first lead that felt like it could give desirable results. 

Mai tapped her cheek in contemplation, but it was clear she’d already approved of the idea. 

“Besides the fact that it’s the only idea we have that seems helpful, I doubt there could’ve been anything else other than what would lead to her actual location.” She turned to Yuugi. “What are your thoughts, Yuugi?” 

Yuugi wasn’t sure if he managed to contain himself, but he tried his very best. With straightened back and hands locked behind his back, he replied. “With your permission, chief, I would like to explore this lead as soon as possible, for the sake of my mate.” 

Mai chuckled. “I guessed as much. But you have my permission this time. I wish you all the luck, Yuugi, and hope you’ll return with another member to our tribe.” 

Yuugi gave a bow and had to keep himself together enough to not run out of the hut. 

* * *

Packing the things he might need as well as provisions didn’t take long, with Natsuki helping him out, mainly by double-checking the satchels. 

“Are you sure you have enough for the journey?” She asked as Yuugi got dressed with fitting clothes for travels to colder regions. 

Yuugi sighed. “Wouldn’t you know if I had or not?” 

Normally, Natsuki would have given him a scolding look for those kinds of comments, but now, she only gave him a sad smile. 

Yuugi didn’t say anything more and was just about to exit the cave when Natsuki pulled him back and hugged him, hard, catching Yuugi completely off guard. 

“Please return safely. I have a bad feeling about this.” She whispered, and Yuugi stilled in her embrace. His mother had never said those words before, never been on the brink of tears because of him leaving. So instead of telling her to let him go, he returned the hug. 

“I promise.” He said, knowing such a vow was futile but still wanting to comfort his mother somehow. And damn if he wouldn’t do his very best. His mate’s life depended on it. 

Natsuki gave him a little squish, before letting him go enough to kiss him softly on the forehead as her farewell. 

Yuugi gave her a reassuring smile, before turning and exit the cave for real this time, wondering how long it would take for him to return.

* * *

As he was packing Gandora’s saddle for the trip, he got interrupted yet again. 

“What are you guys doing here?” He asked Ryou and Anzu as they approached. 

“We only wanted to say goodbye. You’ve barely been back for a few hours after all.” Anzu said. 

“It’s different now, I have a plan to follow.”

“And a focused head.” Anzu winked at him and Yuugi childishly stuck out his tongue at her. 

"You don't think anyone should accompany you, Yuugi?" Ryou asked, fiddling with his hands. "Who knows what lies ahead for you after the snow elves?" 

"I have Ganny, and that's enough. More companions might only slow down my pace too much and I can't afford that." 

Ryou nodded, seemingly displeased but didn't argue any further. 

Inspired from the unexpected hug from Natsuki, Yuugi caught both Anzu and Ryou in his arms, embracing them both. 

“I’ll be fine, guys, don’t worry about me.” 

“You can’t stop us from worrying, Yuugi,” Anzu said lowly, holding him a little tighter.

Yuugi smiled. “I know, but you don’t have to.”

He let them both go, tried to be reassuring as he looked them both in the eyes, before turning and jumping onto Gandora’s back. 

“Yuugi?” Ryou said, and Yuugi turned towards him. "Please make sure you return, with both yourself and your mate in one piece, okay?" 

"I've already promised mum that, so I promise you two as well. I will return with her alive." 

Without another word, he gave Gandora a clap and she took off from the ground. Even with their intense flying not even a day ago, Gandora didn't show any signs of having less energy than usual. But Yuugi was not about to do any more mistakes and push his dragon to her limits. 

Urging her to make a steady pace instead, he left the village and began flying towards the North. He didn't see how Anzu and Ryou kept looking after him until he and Gandora had disappeared behind the mountains. 

* * *

The morning sun woke them both up early, and Yuugi shuddered a little from the cold, despite spending the few hours of sleep tucked in Gandora’s curled body as they’d taken shelter behind some tilted rocks, providing them with protection from the night wind. He felt stiff and judging by the slow movements from the dragon, Gandora didn’t feel much better. They’d covered a good chunk of the distance already during the night, and Yuugi deemed they might be halfway there, according to the map he had. 

After a quick breakfast, they took it a bit slower when travelling again, with Gandora doing more gliding than actual flying for a long while. The stress inside Yuugi hadn’t left him during his sleep, but he was done with letting it agitate them to quicken the pace too quickly; it was better to keep it constant and steady. They could accelerate when the sun had warmed them up more, and Yuugi thanked the divine dragons that they were lucky with the weather.

Suddenly, Gandora jerked in the air, making Yuugi yelp in surprise.

‘Danger!’

Yuugi wasn’t sure what Gandora had seen or sensed, but he didn’t fight her when she made a quick turn and hid on a cliff higher up, trying her best to make both herself and her rider as small as possible. Yuugi quieted his breath and looked around, sharpened his ears to try and find the source of Gandora’s uneasiness.

When carefully looking down below them, he could see a group of trolls jogging by. Normally, it wouldn’t have struck him as something odd. Trolls were common in the mountains, and even if he hadn’t met a mountain troll himself, he knew they tended to be more hostile than the forest cousins he was used to.

But something felt off with these trolls.

They were moving a little too quick. Yuugi had _ never _seen a troll jog anywhere, they weren’t exactly a race known for their agility and lively lifestyle. 

Yuugi squinted and studied the trolls even further.

They were much bigger than any other troll he had seen before. If they hadn’t had the characteristic thick limbs, rumpled faces and big noses, Yuugi would’ve guessed they were humans. But these seemed to be taller than humans as well.

And now Yuugi realised what had been bugging him.

Trolls were rarely outside during the daytime and never moved in the sun, too much sunlight was capable of killing a troll. Yet it was a beautiful sunny day with a clear blue sky, and they were far away from the snowy mountains, making the ground still open, without enough shadows for the trolls to hide in. Something that didn’t seem to bother these trolls, who looked like they’d been jogging for a while.

Yuugi shuddered. These trolls were too foreign for him. Had they always been roaming in the mountains?

Neither he nor Gandora dared to move until the trolls had disappeared, and the sounds of them had died out. Only then did they continue their journey, now feeling uneasy about the strange activity in the mountains. 

* * *

They reached their destination in the late afternoon, and Kisara hadn’t exaggerated when she had called her birthplace a kingdom; the home of the Snow Elves wasn’t like anything Yuugi had seen. And it didn’t bear any similarities with his village.

When their small village was neatly hidden in a crevice, the Snow Elves’ was enormous. Icy buildings resembled spikes in different sizes, but all of them were huge and went up from the mountains, creating a landscape of stalagmites, framing an even bigger mountain where the largest building was, most likely the palace for the king. Dissimilar to the other structures, the palace rested on an excessive cliff, creating a platform in front of the building big enough for a dragon to land on. 

Unlike the dragon riders, the snow elves had guards just outside the enormous gate, and three of them came up to him as he and Gandora landed. Gandora kept her cautious eyes on them as they approached but she didn’t move.

They were armed, of course, but Yuugi didn’t recognise their weapons. It looked like they had enhanced hooks rolled up on their waists but what seemed to be foldable, sharp knives made from foreign metal. Yuugi suspected it had to be coated in something to keep it from rusting in the cold and snowy landscape.

Telling Gandora to wait for him, he met the guards halfway on the platform. They were a lot more intimidating up close, with their tall stature and their cold blue eyes under the thick hoods. Yuugi felt himself shrinking. Kisara was the tallest one of all the dragon riders but compared to these elves, she was a mere child, and not only in length. Yuugi could see that the elves in front of him were many times older than he was.

“You may not come any closer, dragon rider.” The guard at the front said. “State your business.”

Yuugi tried his best to straighten himself and steady his voice. “I’m Yuugi from the dragon rider tribe. I seek counsel with your king.”

“No one seeks counsel with the Lord of the Cold unexpectedly, and especially not visitors from the south.”

“I have a blessing from the king’s daughter, Kisara.”

All three guards were taken aback by that and looked at Yuugi with astounded eyes. The one who had spoken with Yuugi bowed his head apologetically.

“You must forgive us, dragon rider, for a moment we thought you were an eremite and not connected to the tribe of our princess’ soulmate.”

_ We’re too few and close-knitted to have eremites,_ Yuugi wanted to reply but he didn’t want to come off as rude with such parry. He bowed his head instead.

The elf spoke again, now introducing himself. “I am Lossen, Captain of the Guards. You may follow me.”

Lossen turned and started walking towards the gate and Yuugi followed. The two other guards followed close behind, trapping him between them as they walked. Gandora growled a little, sending her worries over to Yuugi.

_ It’ll be fine Ganny, they’re just cautious, _ He told her._ I’ll be back as soon as I have more answers. _

Yuugi heard the dragon’s discontentment behind him. That was not what she meant and in Yuugi’s head, Gandora sent him an image of a faceless she-elf clouded in question.

Yuugi could only do a mental shrug at her. How would he know if they could help him or not beforehand? He didn’t want to think about any what-ifs. And she shouldn’t either.

Gandora made an apologetic silent growl and remained silent as her master entered through the giant doors. 

The inner hall was just as impressive as the mountain itself. High walls stretched out on both his sides and reached up to a roof as high as the dragon nests back in Yuugi’s village. It was hard to define the material, it looked almost like darker crystals. The floor made an echo for every step they took. 

Yuugi didn’t like it at all. He felt small enough already in the presence of the snow elves, entering the royal hall only made it worse. And the feeling of shrinking only grew, the further inside he went, and the closer he came to the other end of the hall. 

At the far side, a throne was standing. Its giant backrest reached around halfway up the wall, slowly blending in its much lighter, almost ice-like colour. If Yuugi was to guess, the throne was probably made of ice, since its seat was covered in pelts. The elf sitting on the throne radiated with both power and authority, making every step Yuugi took harder and harder. Trapped between the guards didn’t leave him any choice but to get much closer than he was comfortable with. 

Lossen stopped a few meters from the elf and bowed his head as he kneeled. 

“Your Majesty, I bring a visitor from the South, a member of our princess’ tribe.” 

Yuugi didn’t dare to raise his head enough to meet the King’s eyes, but he could see him gesturing Lossen to stand up and move to the side. The guards behind Yuugi took a few steps more, forcing him to get even closer to the throne. The intensity of power before him made Yuugi unconsciously kneel, lowering his head. 

“Rise, dragon rider. You’re a welcomed guest here.” 

Yuugi couldn’t do anything but oblige, still feeling small and insecure and a wave of doubt ran through his body, questioning if this had been such a good idea. The thought of his soulmate, afraid and hurt, gave him enough resolve to push it aside and slightly straighten his back, and finally meet the King’s gaze. 

The resemblance he and Kisara shared was almost scary, with the same long, white hair, the royal posture and kind expression, the same blue eyes, with the King also caring a slight sternness to him. This was a man who had ruled for many, many years even before Yuugi was born, and not one to cross. 

_ Fair and honourable, and dangerous,_ Yuugi thought, realising he could relax more than he had feared but still carry on with caution, careful not to step out of line. 

The King raised a graceful hand to his chest. “I am Askari, Lord of the Cold, and you have my permission to speak freely. Will you first tell me how my daughter is doing? The last I heard was that she’d born three, healthy children?” 

Yuugi nodded. “Kisara is doing fine, as well as her and Seto’s cubs. They’ve recently been allowed to follow on foraging missions and may soon be able to bond with dragons of their own.” 

Askari seemed pleased enough with the answer. “I’m glad to hear it,” he said before his face turned more serious. “But you didn’t come here to tell me about my daughter’s whereabouts, did you?” 

Shaking his head, Yuugi collected himself enough to speak. 

“I’m seeking your help and advice in a matter that concerns the elven race.” 

The King gave a small chuckle, and Yuugi didn’t know how to read it. 

“If it wasn’t something your tribe could solve on its own, it must be something of major importance, especially if it involves our kind as a whole rather than just your people,” Askari said and tapped a finger on his chin. “I can only assume it’s about soulmates, then.” 

Yuugi swallowed, resisting the urge to fidget with his fingers because he should’ve known the nature of his errand would’ve been obvious. He set with a nod instead. 

“Your Majesty, three nights ago, I received my soul message. But it was of a kind we have never before heard of in my tribe, and our archive doesn’t cover the complete history of the elven race, only the dragon riders.”

“What kind of oddity is the nature of your message?” 

Yuugi took a deep breath before continuing. “It’s written as cuts and was bleeding heavily when it first appeared, but there was no pain. It still looks like opened wounds even though the bleeding stopped, and it's impossible to heal it. And it’s meaning is way too vague to solve.”

Something flashed in Askari’s eyes and Yuugi couldn’t decipher what it was, but it didn’t seem good. “And what does it say?”

“Help me.”

Yuugi could hear the muffled whispers between the guards. Askari squinted, and Yuugi couldn’t tell if he was irked by Yuugi’s words or just thoughtful, but the silence that followed went on too long for Yuugi’s nerves. So when Askari started speaking, Yuugi jerked a little.

“I never thought I would ever again hear about soul messages written as cuts, begging for help.” 

Yuugi’s eyes doubled in size. So he was, after all, not the first one. 

Askari suddenly rose from the throne and started walking to the side, signalling Yuugi to come along. Lossen and the two other guards followed as well, now trapping Yuugi between them and their king. Yuugi tried to swallow down his nervousness, without much success. 

As they walked out of the hall, and down a corridor with not as high walls but still of magnificent size, Askari started talking. 

“Many tens of thousands of years ago, when trolls were still animals living in the mountains and the humans had evolved just enough to make simple tools, the elven race was not what we are today. We were nothing but spirits, born from the magic in this world that was more profound than it is today. As we started to evolve and becoming corporeal forms, our magic remained strong with us, blessing us with long life and an intelligence growing faster than the other races.” Askari turned and walked down a new corridor to the side, one that seemed to go down to deeper levels in the mountain. His voice having a sadder tone. “So did our arrogance.” 

Yuugi’s eyebrows creased. The stories he’d heard about the elven race before the existence of the dragon riders had never mentioned arrogance as a feature of their race. 

“We saw ourselves as the race that would help the lesser ones to evolve. We wanted to be feared and loved, we wanted to shape the life of the world according to our will. And for a very long time, we forged the trolls to be our tools, we taught the dwarves to dig and shape metals in the mountains, we affected the lives of animals of this world and we made the humans worship us in exchange of favours and fuel for our hubris. But with evolution comes intelligence, and trolls, dwarfs and humans didn’t want to be under our control anymore. And so, the uproars began, turning into full-blown wars as it spread. There were… too many wars stretched over too many lifetimes of all the races.” 

They had arrived at a huge door, seemingly too big and heavy to be moved, but Askari gave it a gentle touch, causing it to open, and they all went inside of what seemed to be a huge library. Shelves that went all the way up to the roof expanded with no apparent end and Yuugi could barely take in the view. 

_ So this is the last archive,_ he thought in wonder. No wonder Kisara had been so sure about her birth tribe being able to help. 

Askari brought him back from the impressive sight by continuing the tale. “Our magic couldn’t help us in the battles, and instead turned into what would be the curse for the elven race forever. While the magic still stayed with us and continued to give us long life, our birth rate dropped to dangerous levels, as if destiny wanted to wipe us out. We were given a chance to survival, though; we could only reproduce through soulmates.” 

Yuugi had never heard _why_ the concept of soulmates existed, and learning the truth behind it left a sour taste in his mouth. As they walked down an aisle of bookshelves, he remembered what Askari had said in the throne room.

“You said I wasn’t the first one with a message written in cuts.”

“So I did. It was common during the wars but I lived to see it disappear. To see it again worries me.” 

He turned down another aisle and continued. “The curse of soul mates came by as the wars were still raging, with messages materialising in the same shapes as they do today; vague hints written in glowing colours. Those who were fighting out in the battlefields weren’t spared from the curse, but their messages were different and appeared as cuts. In the majority of the cases, they were leading to another elf fighting in the wars, and if it was part of destiny’s plan to mock us is a mystery. Messages written in cuts, however, meant the other soulmate was in a life-threatening situation.”

Yuugi froze, his heart jumping a beat and a wave of panic rushed through his body. He hadn’t wanted to have his fears confirmed, he didn’t want to believe his mate was in such dire danger. The panic from the night when his stomach had bled returned in full force and he felt sick. 

Askari stopped at a shelf nearby, scanned it for a moment before he took out a scroll and gave it a quick check, before turning to Yuugi. 

“There was a silver-lining back then, though; all elves possessed the power of deciphering soul messages, no matter the nature of them. Thanks to that ability, we as a race managed to survive through the hardships until the wars ended. That magic has been lost on most of our kind for a long time, and can now only be found in one clan; the Horse nomads.” 

Of all the answers Yuugi could’ve imagined to be given, this had never been on his mind, and dread filled him. 

Horse nomads and dragon riders had conflicted with each other since the birth of the first dragon rider due to the difference in their choice of mounts. The nomads were far older than Yuugi’s tribe was, and had always had problems with dragons attacking and eating their horses. While the number of dragons in the world had decreased, the sour feelings between the tribes remained. Soulmates between Horse nomads and dragon riders had never existed.

Yuugi must’ve shown his worry since Askari’s eyes softened, before giving Yuugi the scroll in his hands. “I’m sorry to say that I can’t order the nomads to help you, no matter the importance of your quest; they’re their rulers. But I can offer guidance to the tribe that will be the most likely to be of aid, together with a reminder of favour they still owe me.” 

Checking the scroll, Yuugi saw it was a map over the wide grasslands in the far south. Scattered across were markings that told of the locations for what must’ve been horse nomad clans, along with old texts of their nature and chieftain names. One location was highlighted with a strange mark. 

“Is that the one?” He asked while pointed at the mark, and Askari nodded. 

“The chief of that clan, Aigami, came to me once begging for my help, and as I gave him my assistance, he promised to repay me one day. That debt is still unpaid for, so I’m giving it to you, Yuugi.” 

Yuugi could only gawk at Askari. “But… Aigami’s indebted to _you_! Why would you give it to me?” 

Askari smiled softly. “I wouldn’t have done so for anyone else, but you’re from my daughter’s tribe and the matter of soulmates is of concern to all of us. And the nature of your message makes it all too urgent to let it be unsolved for long, and not only for the sake of your mate. And with this, as much as it pains me, I must ask you to leave. I’ve done what I can to help you.” 

Taken aback by both Askari’s gift as well as being surprisingly dismissed, Yuugi was left speechless of too many different kinds of feelings. He’d been given more than he hoped for and yet it still wasn’t enough. Another part had been added to his quest and who knew if this would lead to several more? He wanted to hope there would just be one more step but it was probably too optimistic. But Askari was right, there was no time to waste; he had to leave. 

“Thank you for your aid, Your Majesty,” Yuugi said and rolled up the scroll, giving the king a bow.

Askari made a nod. “Make haste, Yuugi, your soulmate needs you. And be careful, I fear something darker is hidden on the horizon.” 

Bowing again, Yuugi gave the King a grateful smile and then followed Lossen out of the palace. 

Gandora made a happy growl when she saw her master returning, but she tensed up when she saw Yuugi’s stern face. 

Yuugi climbed up on her back, suddenly feeling the coldness of the landscape more intensely than before. 

“We have a new quest, Ganny,” Yuugi muttered before he urged her to fly. He could sense Gandora’s confusion but offered her no further explanation. 

_ This is not going to end well,_ he thought, fearing he might reach a dead end, despite being blessed with Askari’s debt to collect. As they flew towards the plains to the south, Yuugi felt a strange prickling along his back and a slight pain in his arm, wondering if perhaps the cold was starting to get to him.

* * *

“What’s the matter, filth? Don’t appreciate the food today?” 

Rumbling laughter was heard above the elf as they lay quivering on the floor, drenched in whatever liquid the troll had just poured over them. The trolls called it wine but it smelled too much of rot and death and the elf hadn’t been able to swallow it as the trolls tried to force it down their throat. 

In the other cells, they could hear the sounds of other prisoners being 'fed' as well, with similar treatments. 

"Looks like someone forgot their manners more like." Another troll said, as they took a grip of the elf's arm, hard enough to bruise the skin, and lifted them from the floor until they were face to face with the troll. "Perhaps we outta teach you to eat what's served unless this filth wants to starve." 

The other troll laughed again and the elf tried their best to not give in as well as not upset the troll further. 

Behind them, something sounded like rain, but that was impossible. 

The elf didn't get the time to wonder more about it when something that felt like a tailed whip hit them, hard, on their back. They cried out loud.

"Aahh!" 

The troll holding him up tightened their grip even further. There would definitely be bruises. 

"So you're in the mood for some singing? Is that it, filth? Then how about you sing some more?" 

The whip came down again, even harder, and the elf screamed as they felt tears pooling at the edge of their eyes. As the whip came down a third time, they could feel how something wet sipped down their back. With the fourth time, tears were now streaming down their face and they wanted to beg the trolls to stop, no matter how futile it was. 

The whip never came down a fifth time. From another cell, someone was yelling loudly in a language the elf didn't understand. The troll holding their arm immediately dropped them, and the elf couldn't hold themselves up, sagging to the floor. Their back stung and they could barely move their arm. Through teary eyes, they saw the trolls leave their cell to enter another one where an orc had recently been imprisoned. From the sounds of it, the orc had fought against its guard when being fed. It snarled loudly at the growling trolls, and words that made no sense to the elf aggressively bounced between the walls of the cell, getting louder and louder. 

Without warning, the orc’s voice was abruptly cut off. The elf held their breath as they heard how something small and then something bigger, fell to the floor. 

The trolls laughed and now, one of them spoke up in the common tongue, making the elf nauseous. 

"Looks like we have dessert tonight, boys!" 

As quickly as they could, the elf moved to put their hands on their ears to shut out the sounds of the decapitated orc being eaten by the trolls. 

"Please, hurry and find me." They whispered repeatedly, clinging to hope with everything they had that they would be saved. 


	4. Two-way aid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yikes, I can't believe I forgot to update this yesterday! Not to worry, though, that only means you get **TWO** chapters tonight!  
*'*\\(0w0)/*'*
> 
> Hope you enjoy them! And thanks for all the kudos and comments, it makes me happy ♥♥♥

****Yuugi had been right, it didn’t end well. Or rather, it didn’t have an all too pleasant start.

Yuugi had, after he and Gandora arrived at the wide plains, tried his best to avoid any encounters with the other horse nomad tribes marked on his map. But it was also the only thing that went smoothly, nervousness over being spotted unaccounted for. 

So Yuugi wasn’t pleased at all with the nomads he was looking for finding them first. 

Suddenly, Gandora jerked in the air as a warning arrow flew right past them. Yuugi looked over his shoulder and down to the ground, where he could see a group of horse riding elves. Quickly, he made Gandora glide parallel to the horses with his own arms raised, hoping it would be a submissive enough gesture for the nomads to understand he wasn’t a threat. 

One of the riders signalled for Yuugi to land and Yuugi, while still having his arms raised, made Gandora descend in a wide circle. When both dragon and rider was down, the nomads surrounded him, bows at the ready. 

“If you want to keep your dragon alive and unharmed, glider, I suggest you leave these lands immediately.” One of them said threateningly. 

Yuugi mentally raised an eyebrow at the nickname and the sharpness in the nomad’s voice but decided to ignore it for the sake of his quest. 

“I’m not looking for trouble, nomads, I’m just seeking your chief, Aigami.” 

Silence and confusion drifted between the horse nomads and they whispered between themselves. Gandora got suspicious but Yuugi pressed his leg against her side, telling her to back off. 

“Why do you seek our chief?” One of the nomads asked.

Yuugi hesitated a bit, wondering about how much he could, or rather wanted, to say. These elves might belong to the tribe he was looking for, and soulmates weren’t something secretive despite the tense feelings between nomads and riders but Yuugi wasn’t interested in spending too much time of what could be better used in the search of his mate. And the lesser interactions he had to do with the horse nomads, the better, for everyone’s sake. 

So he decided to go for what would most likely help his cause. 

“I’m here to collect a debt for the Lord of the North in exchange for help.” 

The nomads exchanged sceptical looks once again, and Yuugi hoped it would be enough for him to tell, surely they knew of Askari if their chief had once paid the king a visit? 

“Since it’s a debt from the Snow King, assuming you’re telling the truth, we can take you to our camp, but one wrong move and your dragon is finished.” 

Yuugi didn’t doubt their threat, none of the riders put away their bows and they all kept glaring at him, but he simply nodded and continued to keep his arms up. The horses started trotting while still surrounding rider and dragon, as Gandora reluctantly (and not so gracefully) walked, her wings tucked to the side and vibrating slightly in her displeasure. 

The camp wasn’t far away, thankfully, and could be seen as they turned around a small hill. As they got closer, Yuugi saw it consisted of lots of tents in different sizes with smaller paddocks for the horses in the outskirts. A wind rustled the fabrics of tents, making Yuugi wonder how good the camp could handle a storm; there wasn’t enough cover around them compared to the crevice he lived in. The horse nomads weren’t exactly known for being on good terms with _ any _elvish tribe, so perhaps the rough weather was part of the reasons for it, if not the main reason. 

Or it was as simple as the cultural differences between the dragon riders and the nomads being too big. 

They didn’t get all the way to the camp but stopped a bit away from it. One of the nomads signalled for Yuugi to get off, making Gandora anxious, more so than she’d been back at the Snow Elves. On the other hand, the hostile atmosphere at the nomads’ camp wasn’t exactly comparable to the wariness of the guards outside the snowy palace. It didn’t help how half of the nomads stayed with Gandora, keeping her under strict supervision as Yuugi got led into the camps amongst the tents. Calming her down wasn’t as easy this time but Yuugi couldn’t blame her, and couldn’t do much else but promise her to be done as soon as he could, and hopefully, _ hopefully_, they wouldn’t have to stay for long.

The nomads guided him deeper into the camp, with other nomads glaring at him as they walk passed, without a doubt recognising him as a dragon rider. Yuugi had to fight the annoyance that risked to grow inside of him, it was hard not to take their animosity personally. And as he took a closer look at their horses, he could see how they weren’t equally bothered about having a dragon nearby, making him wonder how much of the bitterness was out of care for their mounts. Distracted by his thoughts, he almost missed how the nomads in front of him had stopped in front of what seemed to be the biggest tent in the camp, clearly belonging to a chief. 

One of the nomads walked inside, stopping at the entrance and hindering Yuugi from looking inside. “Chief, there’s a glider here who wants to see you, says he has a debt to collect.” 

Yuugi couldn’t hear the reply the nomad got, but it was clear that the chief, presumably Aigami, wasn’t pleased. 

“He said it’s on the behalf of the Snow King.” 

The voice inside made a sound close to a snort, and with a clear sceptical tone that Yuugi didn’t need words to understand. 

The nomad shrugged. “That’s what he says at least.” 

It was silent inside the tent before the voice was heard again. The nomad nodded and waved at Yuugi to get in. Yuugi slipped inside, all too close to the glaring nomad before the cloth was lowered behind him and he was alone with the chief. 

It was enough to take one look at Aigami for Yuugi to realise this was an elf he would never have been able to befriend, no matter how much he would’ve wanted it. 

The golden eyes were stern and while not as aggressive as the nomads he’d met earlier, they were far from friendly. The sleeveless coat in a vibrant green-blue colour he wore on top of the light purple shirt was outlined with a pattern of black and orange, and together with his spiky hair accompanied by ponytails, two long at the back and two smaller framing his face, there could never be any doubt about him being the chief of the tribe, as the rest of the nomads seemed to stick to natural colours accompanied by lighter shades of purple and blue. 

Just like Askari, Aigami was radiating authority, but he felt much less threatening, despite clearly being someone who as well should never be double-crossed and deceived. 

Right now, he was sitting at a desk with a few scrolls on it, as well as a couple of maps over what seemed to be the plain, similar to the one Askari had given Yuugi, just much more detailed with lots of notes to the sides. He tapped with his fingers on the table surface, slow but hard, impatient. 

“You have a lot of guts coming to our territories, glider, I commend you for that. It doesn’t change the fact, though, that you’re not welcome.” 

Yuugi expected as much and was unsure how to reply. 

“I was sent by Askari, the Lord of the Cold, he told me of your abilities and to remind you of the debt you owe him.” 

Aigami squinted his eyes at him. “So you’re in need of our magic, is that it?” 

Yuugi had to fight the urge to start fidgeting with his hands and instead straightened his back, trying his best to still be humble instead of challenging. “I’m asking for your help in my important quest, and I was told your magic would be of aid, especially since I’m in a hurry.”

Aigami leaned back in his chair, arms crossed and Yuugi started to regret his choice of words. “I’m not obligated to repay the Snow King by helping _ you_, glider, no matter the urgency.” 

“Not even when it comes to soulmates?” 

Aigami only pulled a face at that. “_ Especially _ not when it comes to soulmates. Do you think you’re the first one who has come to us with ‘urgent needs’ that only we can help with? No, you’re not. We’ve been used for centuries for our magic, seemingly not useful for anything else.”

Yuugi scowled, he didn’t understand this reasoning at all. “And why would you be against helping? Soulmates are something that concerns us all.” 

“Oh please, glider, you think I’ve never heard that one before? One justified reason after the other as to why _ they specifically _ need our ancient magic, just because they can’t use their heads or even be patient with what their messages are telling them.”

“Diva.” 

A new voice had entered the tent and Aigami raised from the chair. “I’ve told you not to use my soul name in the presence of others, Shadi! Especially not outsiders.” He glared intensely at Yuugi as he said the last sentence and Yuugi wondered briefly about the concept of ‘soul names’, he’d never heard of such a thing before. Trying to wrap his head around the fact that Aigami, and perhaps even the rest of the horse nomads, had another name, seemingly a secret one, was impossible. What purpose could a secret name serve? 

The new elf didn’t seem to take any further notice and instead kept his emotionless eyes at Yuugi. 

"I couldn’t help but overhear the issue at hand. You’re in need of ancient magic?” 

Yuugi decided to ignore Aigami and turned to the new elf. “I’m in dire search of my soulmate and was told of your abilities by the snow elves.” 

“So you need magical enhancement of your message.” The elf stated, flatly. 

“I guess?” 

Aigami made a mocking sound. “Hah! And here you still had the guts to say you were different.” 

Yuugi snapped, he had no patience left now and especially not for pettiness. 

“My message is written as cuts, and forms only two words; _ Help me _.” 

The elf named Shadi remained emotionless but Aigami snapped his mouth shut and froze. Yuugi felt triumph and took it as a cue to continue.

“It seems you know what messages written as cuts means, Aigami, so perhaps you should rephrase your words and accept that yes, I am different, and I am, in fact, in dire need of your help.” 

Aigami’s fists clenched but the rest of his body remained relaxed. He was clearly not happy about the development of the situation but Yuugi couldn’t find it in himself to care about it. He had won the game and he was selfish now, wanting nothing but to have his prize. 

As Aigami’s fists relaxed, he frowned at Yuugi. “Fine, I’ll pay off my debt by helping you.” He nodded to Shadi who nodded back before disappearing out of the tent. Yuugi looked after him, unsure what to do or expect, he hadn’t been signalled to follow the other elf. 

“He’ll be back soon enough, so you just stay here,” Aigami said behind him, his voice low and sharp. Yuugi turned towards him but the chief wasn’t looking at him. “And don’t you dare use my soul name, you have no right to know it.” 

Only now did Yuugi feel the threatening aura Aigami had lacked earlier, and while it still didn’t affect him as much as Askari, he was still taken aback with his mouth dried and incapable of forming words. Somewhere in the back of his head, curiosity tried to catch his attention but failed. And it didn’t matter that it wasn’t his fault for getting to know such a secret. 

“I won’t tell anyone about it.” He managed to say weakly, without any expectations of being believed or not. And the look in Aigami’s eyes as he turned his head towards Yuugi told him he wasn’t. But then Aigami sighed. 

“You seem to be naive enough to keep that promise, I doubt you’ll have any use for it anyway.” 

Yuugi let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding and to his surprise, Aigami continued to talk. 

“We nomads have lived in an exposed environment for many, many thousands of years, making us vulnerable. We have no walls, we have no caverns, we have no trees. We’re all alone and we can’t trust anyone. We have to constantly be on our guard to protect each other and ourselves. And our deepest private selves, all that we are and have been, lies in our soul names, and those are only shared between parents and child, and soulmates. It’s the most important part of us to protect, from _ everyone _.”

With the last word, Aigami locked his golden, cold eyes at Yuugi, making it apparent he was finished. Yuugi was dumbfounded, this was information he was certain no one outside the horse nomads knew about and he wasn’t sure what to do with it, besides keeping it to himself. And knowing it wasn’t out of trust made him uncomfortable, even if it gave him a better understanding of the culture and history of the nomads. It was easy to be sympathetic but Aigami, and most likely the rest of his people, wouldn’t appreciate it. 

Yuugi didn’t know how to handle that either. He almost wanted to make some kind of comment, but he knew there was no use. Before the silence could go on further, though, Shadi returned, and Yuugi tried to shake off the uneasiness the infodump left him with. He couldn’t help but wonder if Shadi was Aigami’s mate, he didn’t look old enough to be a parent. For some reason, that made his unease even worse so he pushed it to the side. He wanted to find his own mate, not ponder about others. 

“Before we can begin the procedure, you need to eat this,” Shadi said and handed over what seemed to be a strange-looking potato in its shape and form, but its texture was foreign to Yuugi, it felt too soft and coarse. 

He sniffed at it but it didn’t have any smell. “What is this for?”

“It’ll make you susceptible to the magic.” 

Yuugi raised an eyebrow. It sounded more like he would be intoxicated in some way, and he did not like the idea one bit. 

“Can’t you just do your... stuff anyway?” 

“No no, little boy, that’s not how it works. In order for the magic, the ‘stuff’, to work, there have to be preparations made, or else it’s not going to give a result. It’s the only way the magic of our ancestors has survived; through the use of external means.” 

Yuugi looked at the strange potato in his hand and then back at Shadi before he decided to trust Shadi enough to eat it. He carefully bit into the potato, chewing off a good chunk of it. It didn’t taste anything first, but the texture was awfully rubberlike, and the more he chewed, the saltier it got. It took every bit of will to swallow the bite and even then, intense queasiness came over him. 

Taking a few deep breaths through his nose as to not empty his stomach, he looked at Shadi. “Am I supposed to eat it all?” 

“No, that’s enough,” Shadi said, and Yuugi made a relieved sigh. “Lie down on the bed, please.” 

He pointed at a bed at the tent wall. Yuugi suspected it was Aigami’s, with the look of disapproval the horse nomad wore in his face, but he ignored the icy stare and followed Shadi’s instructions, and laid himself down. 

Nothing seemed to happen first. Yuugi tried to ignore the saltiness in his mouth. Then Shadi pressed his index and middle finger against Yuugi’s forehead and mumbled something Yuugi couldn’t make out any words from. 

Everything turned black. 

* * *

_He couldn't see anything, couldn’t feel anything but the unfathomable darkness all around him. He wasn’t sure if he was moving or stagnant but he knew he wasn’t lost. _

_But he was afraid. Something wasn’t right, something wasn’t like it was supposed to be. _

_Slowly, his world lightened up, but it didn’t get bright enough for him to see properly. His sight was dim and it was hard to focus. _

_He looked frantically around, seeing stone walls that seemed to be carved in a mountain as well as thick bars at one end; a prison cell. The air felt cold and humid and he could hear the sound of water dripping somewhere. The only light source was a torch just outside, barely lighting up the cell and the corridor outside of it. _

_Something big suddenly came tramping down towards their chamber and opened the door in a terrifyingly aggressive manner. A huge figure came into view and he tried to focus on it and understand what it was; its shape was so familiar and sent shivers of horror through his body. _

_The figure lifted him up, and rumbling laughter came out of its huge mouth, a disgusting smell being puffed into his face. _

_He realised what it was. _

_It was one of the monster trolls he’d seen in the snowy mountains. _

_He opened his mouth to scream but then the troll vanished in blurry swirls and he felt nauseous. _

* * *

With a violent twitch, Yuugi came to again. He gasped for air, and despite having his eyes wide opened, he couldn’t see where he was. But he could hear someone’s voice mumbling a soothing hymn, a song that got higher and higher in volume until it suddenly stopped. And with it, Yuugi’s world came back. 

He was lying on a bed in a tent, looking up at Shadi. 

“I see you saw _ something _.” 

“Wh… what was that?” 

“What you saw were images telling you of your mate’s whereabouts; where she might be, in what state she’s in and what circumstances she’s in.” 

Yuugi blinked and sat up, recollected the images from his vision, or dream, or whatever it was. Mountain walls, a prison cell, and a monster troll. 

The more he pondered, the more he frowned. Was that all he would get? 

“But… I didn’t see enough for this to be helpful! I’m no closer to finding out where she is!” 

“That’s not true, you apparently saw where she was.” 

“Yeah, in a cell in a dungeon and I saw some kind of troll, but that’s too vague! It has to be more specific than tha-” 

“You expect too much, boy,” Shadi cut him off, “the magic wasn’t all explicit in the old days either.” 

Yuugi almost sputtered in frustration. “From what I’ve understood, things weren’t as complicated back then and we as a race weren’t as scattered.” 

“You understand nothing. We were at war, the battlefields were many, and just as scattered as we are today. The only difference was our larger numbers and the lesser amount of tribes in the world, but nothing much has changed since then.” 

Clenching his teeth, Yuugi looked up at Shadi’s cold face, almost shaking in defiance. 

“You can glare at me as much as you like, boy, it won’t change the results. You still have more than what you had before.”

Yuugi wanted to protest but he couldn’t, Shadi wasn’t wrong, and if there really was nothing more to be done, it was pointless to argue any further. But oh how he didn’t like it. 

Aigami clicked his tongue. “Since you’re done here, you better leave now, before you overstay your welcome. And your dragon sounds restless, so how about you take it away with you before we take it down?” 

Yuugi glared at Aigami as well, and the threat made Yuugi's frustration grow. His sharp hearing couldn't pick up any distressed sounds at all from Ganny. She was most likely only cautious about the hostile atmosphere in the camp, and not at all interested in the horses. But he didn't want to stay any longer than they wanted to have him there.

Looking from Aigami and back to Shadi, Yuugi rose from the bed. 

"Thanks for your help and time." He muttered with a small bow. Shadi gave a small nod as a reply while Aigami waved dismissively at him.

"Just leave." 

_Gladly_, Yuugi thought and exited the tent. 

Gandora was, indeed, restless and not at all pleased with being left alone under such heavy surveillance. Yuugi ignored the glaring nomads as much as he could and jumped onto Gandora’s back. She sprung into the air without even waiting for his command but he let it slip this time; he’d had enough of horse nomads for a lifetime and wanted just as much as Gandora to get as far away as possible. 

It wasn’t until hours later when the sun had started to set that Yuugi could snap out from his frustrated thoughts. They had flown to the woods in the east, where the eastern grasslands met the desert and the towering dark mountains were. Yuugi felt sick, he hadn’t eaten anything since that salt bomb of a disgusting potato impostor and had been too angry to think about it as they were flying. Now, he longed for something _ real _to eat that wouldn’t make him nauseous. 

Gandora immediately perked up at the suggestion of a hunt and with a happy growl made a quick swoop to scan the grasslands for a fitting prey for dragon and rider. 

* * *

The sun had set when Yuugi finished his last piece of grilled boar, and now, with his stomach full and a better taste in his mouth, he leaned back against Gandora, who was still munching on her piece and let his thoughts drift while looking into the campfire. The angry frustrations that the horse nomads had given him had faded into sad hopelessness instead. What the hell was he supposed to do now? There wasn’t a “next travel point” in his quest, neither to the actual location of his mate nor another step on the ladder of clues. 

This was truly a dead end. 

The scenery was eerily mirroring the one from just a few days ago, Yuugi realised, and he sighed deeply, sinking further back into Gandora. She growled quietly. 

‘Sad.’ 

Yuugi nodded and the emptiness inside almost hurt. “Me too, Ganny.” 

Perhaps the night and deep sleep could help with clearing up the images from his vision but Yuugi didn’t really believe it himself. He had thought so intensely about them but there was nothing he could gather from it, nothing that could tell him where he should go now. The fact that he had to come up with a new plan made him feel all too restless. 

His ears twitched just as Gandora tensed up. Something, or someone, was close. 

Yuugi swiftly pulled out his knife and got into a fighting stance, Gandora growling behind him. 

“Who’s there?” 

A brown-haired wood elf popped out his head from a tree where he’d been hidden. 

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you!” 

Yuugi frowned. “I wasn’t scared.” 

“Really? Because you seem kinda jumpy.” 

"Being alert is not the same as being scared.” 

The wood elf laughed. “You got me there. And you must have an amazing hearing if you could hear us like that.” 

Yuugi raised an eyebrow. “Us? I only heard one?”

“Then your footwork still needs training, Judai.” 

A new voice came from Yuugi’s side and as he turned, he saw a new elf coming out from behind a tree. Tall and black-haired with a stern look in his eyes, he was almost intimidating, especially with the strange yellow mark he had on the left side of his face. 

Yuugi squinted a little and looked between them, but they didn’t seem hostile, especially compared to the horse nomads. “Who are you and why were you sneaking around?” 

“We’re not your enemies, dragon rider, and moving quietly is what we wood elves do,” the black-haired elf said. “You can lower your knife.” 

“Besides,” the brown-haired elf, Judai, added as he, too, came out, “I’m pretty sure your dragon would eat us up before you got the chance to attack us.” 

Yuugi glanced at Gandora who seemed a little too pleased with the sudden praise, and he decided he could trust these new elves well enough to put his knife away. 

“May we share your fire for a while, perhaps?” The black-haired elf asked, and Yuugi nodded, sitting down again but now on a stone closer to the fire, and the black-haired elf sat down on another stone on the opposite side.

“I’m Yuusei, wood-elf scout, and this is my mate, Judai.” He pointed to his side where the brown-haired elf plopped down onto a tree stump. Judai shot Yuugi a big grin that looked too friendly to be hostile, making Yuugi relax a bit more. 

“I’m Yuugi, dragon rider. And this is my dragon and friend, Gandora.” Yuugi looked between the elves, realisation hitting him. “Wait, you’re mates?” 

Judai raised an eyebrow, tilting his head. “What’s with the confusion? Have you never seen same-gendered soulmates before?” 

“Well, yes, I have... but I thought it was so rare, I would probably never see it outside of my tribe.”

“It’s rare but probably more common than you think,” Yuusei said. “We’re the only ones in our tribe as well, and in our nearby cousin tribes in the forest.”

Yuugi felt slightly perplexed hearing that but decided to shrug at it and switch the subject. “You said you were scouts, are you out searching for something?” 

Yuusei and Judai exchanged looks before Yuusei answered. “We are, we’ve been sent on a scouting mission by our tribe. But it is of high secrecy, for now, I hope you understand.” 

Yuugi didn’t, really, he had a hard time imagining a quest needed of secrecy, but he hadn’t expected the horse nomads to have secrets, either. 

_I know way too little of the world it seems_, he thought, _ perhaps my search could’ve gone better if I only knew more_. 

Yuusei brought back his attention. “It’s clear you’re a dragon rider from the north. What brings you down here to the south?” 

It was a relief to not feel any hesitation about answering this time, and Yuugi straightened his back a little. “I’m on a quest to find my soulmate.” 

Judai’s eyes doubled in size and his smile even more. “Soulmate? You’re looking for your soulmate? Like you have a message and everything and are trying to find them? Tell us more!”

Yuugi was taken aback a little by the sudden excited outburst, and Yuusei smiled apologetically at him. “Judai is weak for stories about soulmates.”

Yuugi smiled back. After being in such a serious state for days and having his cause treated like major importance from everyone he’d met so far, it was easy to forget soulmates had a brighter side as well. and so he couldn’t help but feel encouraged by Judai’s excitement. So he told them the whole story about the appearance of his message and how he’d spent a whole day in a frantic search. He told them of the snow elves and bits and pieces of the elvish history he’d learned, and he told them of the magic of the horse nomads (Judai had made a hilarious face of disgust about the strange potato). 

“That’s quite a journey you’ve done in only a few days,” Yuusei said when Yuugi was done. ”You weren’t helped by the horse nomads magic?”

Yuugi shook his head. “Not nearly enough. The only clues I got from it is that she’s trapped in the mountains, captured by trolls.” 

“Did you say trolls?” 

Yuugi raised his head, a flutter in his chest and turned to Judai, who had sounded all too warily. “Do you know something about trolls?” 

Judai scratched his head. “I wouldn’t say that, and I don’t know if this might help, but... there _ has _been some unusual activity around Durbatulûk lately.”

Yuugi raised an eyebrow.

“What’s Durbatulûk?”

Both Yuusei and Judai widened their eyes in perfect sync.

“You seriously haven’t heard of the place?” Judai asked in shock almost.

“For having the possibility to fly and see the world, you’ve seen very little of it from what it seems,” Yuusei stated, and Yuugi couldn’t tell if it was meant as an insult; Yuusei was hard to read.

“I don’t travel much unless it’s for tribe business. And we rarely have errands anywhere else but around the western mountains.”

Yuusei nodded, and his expression remained unchanged. Yuugi decided that the wood elf hadn’t meant to offend him.

Judai looked around, before leaning a little closer to Yuugi.

“Durbatulûk is the capital of the mountain trolls just north from here. It was nothing but an outpost for a very long time, owned by common trolls until it got overrun by monster trolls from the east some time ago and they took it over. They’ve grown steadily in numbers and become bolder every day.”

“What’s the difference between common trolls and these monster ones?” 

“Quite a lot. They’re bigger, faster and can move in sunlight without harm.” Yuusei said in a low voice.

“They’re also much more hostile and have been seen killing game for sports instead of hunting,” Judai continued as he did dramatic hand gestures, “as well as abducting other kinds of races.” 

A shudder went through Yuugi’s body. “Then those were the trolls I saw in the mountains on my way to the Snow Kingdom.” 

Yuusei looked thoughtful. “You mention they were on the move, you don’t happen to remember where they were headed?” 

Yuugi tried to recall the trolls but he couldn’t say he was entirely sure with them moving in terrain not entirely familiar to him. “Southeast I think?” 

Yuusei frowned and Yuugi felt uneasy. Then he remembered what Judai had said not even a minute ago.

“Wait, what do you mean with abducted?” 

Judai shrugged. “Exactly what it sounds like, a poor victim who just happened to be in the wrong spot and the wrong time being taken to the city, never to be seen again. There have been elves from the other forest tribes who have disappeared and we’ve seen some eremites being seized, as well as common trolls, orcs and dwarfs.” 

“They seem to have taken a liking to the sun tribes in the outskirts of the desert just east from here, quite a few have been snatched this past year.” 

Yuugi’s stomach dropped. 

He knew where she was now. And if the trolls had been abducting elves for the past year, then she probably had been suffering for much longer than since she received her message. 

There wasn’t much time left; if he wanted to save his soulmate he had to do to it now. It was impulsive on dangerous levels, Yuugi knew that but what fear he felt wasn’t for himself. 

“I have to get there. Now.” 

He was just about to get up and leave, but he didn’t even get to rise up from the stone where he was sitting. Yuusei took a firm grip on his arm, keeping him in place. 

“Are you completely out of your mind?! What part of “place overrun by monster trolls didn’t you understand?!” he hissed. 

“And what part of “my soulmate is in terrible danger” didn’t _ you _understand?” Yuugi snapped back, panic mixed with frustrated anger and desperation. “If I don’t save her, she’ll risk dying, and I’ll be an empty shell for the rest of my life if I even last very long. I can’t leave her like this! How would you feel if-” 

Yuugi cut himself off when he saw the horror and pain flashing in Yuusei’s eyes, and the anger inside him immediately turned to guilt. Judai was at his soulmate’s side just moments after, kneeling with one hand on Yuusei’s shoulder. 

“Yuusei…” 

Yuusei didn’t say anything, only released his hold on Yuugi’s arm and buried his face in Judai’s hair, leaning into his mate’s embrace. 

Yuugi didn’t know what hurt the most; seeing the affection and intimacy between the wood elves, knowing that it was still beyond his reach. Or the fact that he had somehow forgotten how sensitive the subject was and managed to cause pain where it shouldn’t ever be. 

Yuugi looked down at the ground and could barely open his mouth, so when he managed to speak, it was close to a whisper. “I’m sorry.”

An apology seemed all too insignificant to give but Yuugi had to say something. He looked up and met Judai’s softened expression. 

“It’s okay, Yuugi, we understand.”

No one said a word for a long while and while the guilt inside Yuugi slowly turned into fear again, he didn’t act on it this time. 

“Yuugi.” 

He wasn’t prepared to hear Yuusei speak and immediately lifted his head. 

“You can’t barge into Durbatulûk on your own, and your dragon won’t be able to help you. There are too many trolls there, and you risk the life of yourself and your mate by going there alone.” 

“What other choice do I have, Yuusei?” 

Yuusei and Judai exchanged looks, and then Judai spoke up. “You don’t have to go alone, though, you can have others to aid you.” 

Yuugi furrowed his eyebrows. ”What do you mean with others? Who would be willing to help me? I don’t have time to go home to my own tribe and ask.”

“You won’t have to, you’ll have us.” The wood elves said in perfect synchronisation. 

It took a few seconds before Yuugi managed to process their words, and even then, he was still completely stunned. “Wait, what?” 

“We’re willing to help you, Yuugi,” Yuusei said while Judai nodded affirmatively. 

Yuugi’s eyes widened in surprise and he had a hard time collecting his thoughts. This was nothing he could’ve expected. “But… why would you do that? You don’t know me.” 

“Remember how we said we’re on a mission and couldn’t tell you what it is?” Yuusei asked.

“We’re actually planning on getting to Durbatulûk ourselves,” Judai added.

“What? You are? Why?” 

“Our tribe, as well as the other tribes in the forest, have kept track on the troll activities ever since the capitol got overrun and with the increase in abductions, we have to see if something bigger is at play here. And so we were the ones chosen for the quest.”

Yuugi looked between the wood elves, and alongside his fear and anxiety, there was a bubble of warmth growing out of gratitude, almost making him tear up. 

“I don’t know what to say, this is… I… thank you,” he said, trying to gather his feelings together but with a chest close to bursting with relief, it was an impossible task. 

Yuusei gave him a warm smile while still having a serious look in his eyes. “Don’t thank us yet, Yuugi. We have a dangerous task ahead of us.”

* * *

The cuts on their back had now dried up into coagulated scabs but the pain was still just as intense. The elf felt dizzy but they couldn’t tell if it was because of the injuries or the possibility of losing too much blood. The only thing they knew, was how the sounds outside their cells had pushed them too hard when they’d desperately tried to shut it out. The trolls hadn’t stopped with the orc, but instead, taken out more prisoners, and who knew if it was just for fun or uncontrollable desires for ‘dessert’. The elf didn’t want to know, it was enough to know they were alone in the dungeon. 

The last of the physical energy they might’ve had left had been spent on curling up into a compact ball while covering their ears, until it felt like they would crush their own head. Now, they lay completely limp on the floor, streaks of dried-up tears in their filthy face and they could no longer move, not even a finger. The elf knew they wouldn’t be able to regain strength enough to move like they’d done before while being in the cell. They were finally nothing. Just like they had wished for earlier in their captivity, until...

The warmth on their stomach was still there, spreading out hope like a blanket over the elf and comforting them through the pain. 

But there was no agony. Things were different now. They wouldn’t die. Had the circumstances been different they would have, and probably soon. But despite their life slowly fading away, time wasn’t running out. Because being this close to death could now only mean one thing.

They could barely smile but did so anyway. It was okay. 

“I’ll see you soon, then.” They whispered, before closing their eyes. 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **notes:** For those who might recognise it; Durbatulûk is a Lord of the rings reference, and comes from the verse in Black Speech about the One Ring, and means “to rule them all”. 
> 
> **more notes:** What this fic could’ve had: 
> 
> Yuugi looked down at the ground and could barely open his mouth, so when he managed to speak, it was close to a whisper. “I’m sorry.”
> 
> An apology seemed all too insignificant to give but Yuugi had to say something. He looked up and met Judai’s softened expression. 
> 
> “It’s okay, Yuugi, you’re valid.” 


	5. Nocturnal assault

****Yuugi hadn’t asked Yuusei and Judai what Durbatulûk was or looked like, all he’d been told by the wood elves was that “he was going to know when he saw it”, along with its location (“It’s not like we’ve actually been there before, either,” Judai had said with a grin). 

Despite how Gandora couldn’t fly as fast as usual, as she was carrying all three of them on her back, it didn’t take too long before they’d crossed the grasslands between the southern forest and the black mountains. The light from the crescent moon didn’t quite give them enough guidance, but when the troll capital came into view, Yuugi was relieved about them being protected by the darkness of the night. The relief, however, was still overshadowed by the growing anguish that tightened his chest. 

If the Snow Kingdom had been majestic and beautiful, Durbatlûk was its polar opposite in every regard. Dark, gritty pillars and towers seemed to grow out of the mountain, with what looked like bits and pieces of an enormous castle being brutally divided into smaller parts only to be stacked on top of each other, with the mountain itself being reformed to fit the structure. In the centre of it all was a huge black fortress with a gate almost as tall at the wall. There wasn’t a single smooth surface but instead, everything looked thorny and aggressive. All in all, the whole place screamed terror and death to uninvited guests. 

There was no way the place had always looked like this.

Yuugi shuddered. Knowing that his mate was imprisoned somewhere in this horrifying place made his stomach twist. 

“We’ll have to land a bit further away, we can’t afford to be seen,” Yuusei said. With a nod, Yuugi guided Gandora to a nearby cliff behind a bigger rock, out of sight for possible guards and other villainy eyes. 

“What’s the plan, then?” Judai said as all three of them got down from Gandora’s back. 

“Well, we should try and find where they keep their prisoners, without being seen,” Yuugi said, “but I’m not sure how we’ll manage with that.” 

“I don’t think we can make up a plan in better detail, we’ll have to improvise and make quick decisions depending on the situations we’ll be in.” 

Yuugi wasn’t overly fond of Yuusei’s resolution, but was there really any other way? 

Judai climbed up on a small rock, giving him a better view of the fortress. “There seems to be some windows on the nearest wall and not too high up, we might be able to sneak our way in through them.” 

Yuusei climbed up and checked for himself, and made an approving nod before he looked back at Yuugi. “Are you ready?” 

Yuugi nodded back and turned towards Gandora. 

“Stay out of sight but as close as you can, Ganny, we might need to escape quickly when we’re done”, Yuugi said in a low voice, caressing the dragon’s cheek. Ganny made a small, worried noise, telling him she’d understood. Briefly, she pressed her forehead against Yuugi’s before jumping up in the air and flying away. 

_ Please stay safe_, he thought, but perhaps that was useless. She would be much safer than he would. 

* * *

Yuugi thought he could move in silence, but the wood elves were on a completely different level in comparison. Without making a single sound, not even subtle noises when walking on the stony ledge with scattered pebbles, they moved quicker than should be possible. 

There were, indeed, guards keeping a lookout from higher floors but the elves managed to make their way in the shadows to a window below, out of sight. Judai climbed up through the window, disappearing out of view before peeking out and signed at them to follow, with Yuusei going first and then helping Yuugi up. 

When the three of them were inside, Yuugi had to wrinkle his nose, not because of the foreign and almost foul odour, but the interior wasn’t much better than the outside. 

They found themselves in a room between two long corridors, seemingly not used as anything else than leaving unidentifiable junk and old, broken weapons around, the walls as dark as the exterior. A layer of dust told them no one had been here for a while, making it a good enough starting point. 

Choosing the left way, the elves slowly moved forward, all of them on guard. It didn’t take long, though, until Yuugi realised the whole place was like a chaotic form of a labyrinth. Corridors intersected in ways that shouldn’t have been the logical choices when built, rooms placed in random patterns being either empty or similar to the first one they’d entered, and walls shattered as if someone had been crazy with a sledgehammer. 

It was a mess. 

Yuugi grew more and more impatient the further inside they got without making any progress. Being this close at finishing his goal but not knowing exactly how close, or far away, they were, was getting on Yuugi’s nerves. 

He opened his mouth to try and stop the wood elves and instead form a proper plan on how to proceed. 

“Those dirty elf-fuckers, did you hear they got rid of the maggots down in the dungeon?!”

A loud growling voice came from a corridor to their side, surprising the elves and causing them to jump. Another voice answered, and Yuugi made a silent sigh of relief, it didn’t seem like they were moving.

“Pah! Bet it was Khagra’s group being on guard duty. Wouldn’t be the first time they took the first chance they get to slaughter prisoners.” 

“And how long had those orc-scums been in for? Hours?” A third voice asked. 

“Tops! Greedy bastards thinking they can have all the fun for themselves. Like it’s easy to find new toys now without venturing to the woods and desert. Not even dwarfs are easy to find now.” 

Yuugi felt his stomach turn. This was nothing like the forest trolls he’d met, and while he’d had a pretty good imagination, he hadn’t wanted it to turn out to be true. 

_ They really do kill and torture for sports_, he thought bitterly. 

The next words made him furious.

“What about that desert elf? That filth has been there for quite a while, surely it must’ve died by now?”

“Should have, it’s a wonder it has survived for this long,” the first troll chuckled. “But a sturdy plaything only means more fun. Remember that time when you made it-”

Whatever the troll had planned to say was abruptly cut off as a knife stabbed their neck, and with a confused expression, they fell to the floor. The other two raised from the crates they’d been sitting on but Yuugi was faster, cutting the other down and jumped the third, pinning it to the floor and raising his knife. 

“Yuugi no!” Yuusei said sharply behind him. Yuugi flinched but stopped his knife from sinking into the troll’s chest. “We have to ask them for directions so save your anger for now!”

The troll under Yuugi had started to get out of its confused and surprised state and manage to throw Yuugi off. It made a futile attempt to snatch a nearby axe but instead, got pinned down by Judai tackling it to the floor and Yuusei pressing its arm down with his foot. The troll snarled but had less success with getting free this time. 

“So, funny you guys would talk about a dungeon for prisoners,” Judai said, “because we’re looking for one. You don’t happen to be in the mood to tell us where this dungeon is?”

The troll stilled, looked even more confused before an ugly grin spread across its face. “So you’re after that filthy elf, aren’t you?” 

Yuugi twitched but Yuusei shook his head at him, before focusing on the troll, voice stern and cold. “That’s none of your business. Either you tell us, or we give you the same treatment as your friends.”

The troll cackled. “Could be fun to tell you if only to see the despair in your eyes when you find that filth dead. But I think I prefer your sullen faces now instead.”

It made a burst of awful laughter that was abruptly cut off as Yuugi walked up to it and stabbed its neck in the same fashion as the first troll being killed. It jerked and gargled as blood poured out of its neck until it grew completely still. 

Yuusei sighed, and if it was about Yuugi being too hasty with his knife or the troll being non-cooperative, Yugi couldn’t tell, but the wood elf didn’t say anything about it. “I guess we have to continue, then.”

“Should we do something about these?” Judai asked and pointed at the trolls lying dead on the floor. 

“I don’t think there’s any point in doing so, it doesn’t seem like a lot of trolls come here.” 

Yuugi looked around the room, it reminded him more of sleeping quarters than the random rooms they’d been moving through so far, but just as messy, so Yuusei was probably right. 

Judai shrugged. “So, where should we go now?”

“We should probably start finding our way to deeper levels since they said ‘down in the dungeon.’ I think we can assume they only have one, at least for prisoners.” He turned to Yuugi, eyes filled with concern. “Are you okay?”

_ I’ve definitely been better_, Yuugi thought, he felt uncharacteristically tense and on edge with little to no patience left for any further obstacles and delays, the anxiety levels being all too high now. Because only with him being this close at finding his mate did it really settle in for him exactly how torturous his longing for a soulmate had been, how intense and deep his hollowness had gone. The dread pounded inside his chest just slightly out of synch with his own heartbeats, the pulse creating a burning warmth that spread through his body, a heat that almost felt like something pulling. 

Wait…

Something _ was _pulling him… From the inside…

Yuugi froze, he recognised this pull, it was the same as when he’d found Gandora, only stronger, so that would mean…

“I know how to find her.” He said, not caring about answering Yuusei’s question. 

Judai’s eyebrows shot up behind his fringe, mouth hanging open before he seemed to recollect himself. “Wait you do? How?”

Yuugi shook his head as he started walking. “I can explain later, we have to hurry.” 

Neither Judai nor Yuusei said anything more but instead followed Yuugi out of the room and along new corridors. Here and there, they found stairs leading both up and down, and tried to stick to all the ones leading to lower levels. They met a few more trolls but managed to avoid them without being seen, Yuugi did not want to draw unnecessary attention to them now. 

The lower they got, the stronger the pull, but also, the more trolls they found, either gathered in rooms or patrolling, and it got harder and harder to hide from them. 

Suddenly, they ended up at the bottom of a staircase to a large balcony. Carefully looking out, they saw they had a stair on either side of the platform. 

And a great view over a huge room filled to the brim with trolls. 

Though it seemed to be some form of a gathering place with its size as well as even more stairs on every side of it leading down to the room, the variety of different kinds of activities was absurd. At one part of the room was a brawling game happening, with what seemed to be at least four trolls fighting and a bigger crowd cheering on them. At another, swords and axes were being normalised and polished, with an opening in the wall hinting of a forge burning. Some trolls were busy creating armour of different sizes and shapes. A large table in the middle of the room was filled with trolls feasting on what most likely was food, but none of it looked or smelled like anything edible. 

It was terrifying. 

Yuugi looked around, trying to focus on the pull inside of him, and his eyes locked on an archway to their left. 

“We have to get through there,” he said to the wood elves and discreetly pointed to the opening. 

“How are we gonna do that? We can’t sneak past all the trolls here.” 

Judai was sadly right, as much as Yuugi didn’t like it. He looked out over the room again. There weren’t that many trolls near the passage they had to go through but enough to make it impossible to pass without being detected, risking them to be attacked by even more trolls. If only they could lure them away, just a little bit, or even up the stairs just beside the archway, then they could hide from the rest of the room…

“Judai…” Yuugi heard behind him and turned, only to see Yuusei’s distressed eyes looking into Judai’s determined ones. 

“I can do it, Yuusei, it’s the only way.” 

Yuugi felt his throat turn dry. “What is he talking about, Yuusei?” 

Yuusei hesitated, shaking his head at Judai who only put his hand on Yuusei’s cheek, a subtle smile. “It’s okay, Yuusei.” 

Slowly, very slowly, as if he doesn’t want to take his eyes off of Judai, he turned to Yuugi. 

“Judai wants to create a diversion and lure the trolls away from the archway so you and I can get through.” 

It took a few seconds for Yuugi to process Yuusei’s words, but when he did, the blood drained from his face. “No… No, you can’t do that Judai, it’s too dangerous-” 

“We don’t have time, Yuugi. I’ll be okay.”

“It’s too risky!”

“Do you want to save your mate or not?” 

Yuugi snapped his mouth shut and anger flared up inside of him before it died just as quickly. It’s not like he had a choice in the matter but this was also all too similar to his own mishap just hours ago at the campfire. 

Judai seemed to notice his mistake and bowed his head, looking bashful. “I’m sorry, that was out of line, I…”

Yuugi shook his head. “No, it’s okay.” 

Judai smiled apologetically, then turned back to Yuusei. “You know you can’t stop me, not in this.” 

Yuusei didn’t say anything, only lifted his hand to hold Judai’s cradling his cheek. Yuugi opened his mouth to tell Judai they could come up with something else, but he never managed to before Judai quickly went down the stairs, crouching so as to not bring any unnecessary attention to him. 

Guilt started to rapidly grow inside Yuugi when a hand squeezed his shoulder. 

“Please, trust him,” Yuusei begged. Yuugi frowned, why in the world wouldn’t he trust Judai? As much as he could, though, since they’d only knew each other for a few hours. But with all the risks both of the wood-elves took just to help him save his mate spoke more than words to him. That was also the thing; they were risking _ too _ much for _ him_. All of them had everything to lose, but only Yuugi had a purpose being here. 

On the other hand, how well would he have succeeded on his own? Would he had been able to get this far and even further without the help of Judai and Yuusei?

Probably not. And that thought stung. 

His self-loathing was cut off abruptly when a small explosion was heard in the archway. Smoke surrounded the groups of trolls, making them cough and spout unidentified words and curses. Yuugi could see Judai sprinting up the other stair above the commotion he’d caused and though their sight was reduced due to the smoke, the trolls still saw him and started to sprint after him, giving Yuugi and Yuusei an opening to pass by and into the passage. As they moved down the stairs themselves, Yuugi looked nervously out into the room to see if anyone else would follow. Lucky for them, though, the majority of the room didn’t seem to care and was focused on their own activities. 

When they’d manage to sneak by without being detected and could run freely down the corridor, Yuugi asked. “How come a wood elf uses smoke bombs?” 

Yuusei smiled half-heartedly. “That’s just Judai, he accidentally learned how to make them and uses them for harmless pranks, much to everyone’s annoyance. But clearly, they can be useful in other ways as well.” 

Yuugi frowned at the sad yet affectionate tone in Yuusei’s voice, and he prayed to the Divine Dragons that Judai would make it out of here with them. 

Despite his guilt, Yuugi got his focus back and concentrated on the pull again, letting it guide them. It led them down the hallway to another stair, leading them to a lightened room where there clearly had been trolls just moments ago, if the still fresh leftovers on the nearby table were anything to go after. Yuugi and Yuusei moved a bit slower, quiet and alert, towards new stairs leading further down. The walls were getting less like built walls and more like carved rock, and the air grew humid. 

This was definitely the beginning of the dungeon. 

They ended up in a similar room, but this one had contraptions that could only be meant for torture; a giant wheel with straps, some intimidating bench with even more straps and a press, an oblong box with spikes pointing inside. Yuugi couldn’t decipher how all of them might’ve worked (and quite frankly, he didn’t want to) but the whips hanging on one of the walls told him they were the favourites, with how worn out some of them were. 

At the end of the room was another staircase but the most narrow one so far, where Yuugi and Yuusei could barely move side by side. 

This time, though, they could hear voices at the end of it, and once again, they had stumbled upon a group of three trolls. These trolls didn’t speak the common tongue, it made it hard to decipher their movements as well and as so, to come up with a way to attack them without letting anyone else notice. They might’ve been far down in the fortress, but who knew if there were ways of alarming others. 

Movement from his side caught his attention and he turned to Yuusei. He was signing with his hands, clearly trying to tell him something. Yuugi raised an eyebrow in confusion, but Yuusei just smiled the faintest of smiles, before picking up a small knife from one of his belts, aimed carefully, and then threw the blade into the sole lantern in the room, making the room almost completely dark. 

The trolls were apparently not happy from the sounds of it, and it was clear they had trouble seeing in the dark. Yuugi could barely make out their shapes but it seemed like Yuusei could see perfectly because he moved without hesitation and Yuugi could hear more than see one of the trolls being cut. The other trolls heard it as well and snarled angrily, trying to find where Yuusei was. 

Yuugi took action and went into the room, his companion was not supposed to handle this on his own. Using his ears more than his eyes, he managed to accurately locate the other two trolls. With them being alert of their presence, making a sneak attack wasn’t an option. Especially since one of them had started to wave around its weapon, most likely an axe and Yuugi had to duck once and twice and block the weapon from coming down on him, only causing the troll to realise where Yuugi was. A huge foot managed to give him a hard kick in his stomach, and he flew several meters away, hitting the wall. 

Wincing from the pain in his shoulder and back, Yuugi tried to catch his breath, but he could barely recover enough before he had to duck from the axe hitting the wall where his head had been. It did give him an opportunity to aim at the troll's neck and he tried to push his knife through the skin. The angle seemed to have been off; he didn’t manage to cut deep enough to hit a vital point. 

It was enough to make the troll even angrier and it tried to snatch Yuugi, missing him with just an inch as Yuugi quickly dodged and moved between the troll’s legs to try and stab its back instead. 

The troll spun around quicker than Yuugi could raise from the floor, causing him to get hit in the head by a thick arm but also letting him make a long cut. While not deep enough to be fatal, it caused the troll pain. Yuugi almost fell to the floor and tried to stand up again on unsteady legs, his head spinning, when he heard the sound of flesh being cut. His first thought was how the troll’s axe had hit Yuusei, but the gasping sound was all too rough to belong to an elf. And it got even clearer that the troll had hit its companion when something heavy fell to the floor. 

While the troll was being distracted, Yuugi tried again and quickly aimed his knife to hit the neck. This time, he managed to pierce it good enough to be lethal. The troll wobbled, swung its axe in an attempt to hit something, but instead caused itself to fall to the floor. Its breathing was incoherent and shallow before it abruptly ended with a soundless gasp.

With all the trolls defeated, only the elves’ breathing could be heard in the darkness. So Yuugi got surprised when it suddenly got brighter in the room. He turned and saw that Yuusei had managed to take out a blue coloured crystal out of his satchel without him hearing it. It was radiating with soft light, giving a better view of the dark and cold room, and the three trolls lying in pools of their own blood on the floor. Worried, Yuugi got closer to Yuusei and tried to see if he was hurt, but he only had splatters of black on him, not red, and Yuugi sighed in relief.

Yuusei smiled at him. “You did well to catch on to my plan.”

Yuugi could feel his ears heat up and he looked down to the floor. “I didn’t really understand what you tried to say, or if you had a plan in the first place.” 

“It doesn’t matter, Yuugi, we managed,” Yuusei said after a few seconds and a shrug, and then raised his arm a little to give better light to the room. At its furthest end, was an opening with another pair of stairs, but these ones were so narrowed that Yuugi had a hard time believing the trolls could actually fit in it. 

The elves got down the stairs and ended up in what seemed to be the deepest and darkest part of the dungeon, oozing of death and terror.

A broad and long corridor went out before them, cells on both sides of it, with only one torch to light it up, telling them this was the prison. There were no guards down here, but there didn’t seem to be enough prisoners to look after.

At least not living ones.

Old and newer remains of dwarfs, elves, forest trolls and smaller trolls along with orcs created a foul smell in the air, and they both wrinkled their noses in disgust and terror. 

“These trolls will have to pay for this cruelty,” Yuusei swore, clenching his teeth and held his crystal a bit higher to shed more light over their surroundings. “Are you sure she’s here?”

Yuugi didn’t answer him. Instead, he hurried along the corridor, letting the pull of magic guide him with its strong, pulsating beats. The wood elf ran just behind him.

At the very last cells in the corridor, the pulse stopped. Yuusei checked the cell closest to him but it was empty save for bones from an unknown race, seemingly older than any of the poor souls in the rest of the dungeon.

Yuugi checked the other, and his heart stopped.

“Yuusei! Here!” He gasped. Yuusei turned around and held his crystal even higher for better light and the sight before them both was horrifying.

Inside the cell, an elf lied on the floor, back turned against them, clothes dirty and ripped, showing how the body was battered and bruised and covered with wounds that hadn’t been capable of healing, some of them even being fresh.

Yuugi didn’t waste any time and tried smashing the chained lock with the handle of his dagger, but it didn’t break.

Yuusei grabbed his wrist and hushed him.

“Don’t make too much noise or more guards might hear us, and then we’re trapped!” He hissed at Yuugi, firm grip around his wrist stopping him from trying again.

“How am I supposed to get in then?” Yuugi hissed back.

“I don’t know, but keep it down, or else you won’t be able to save your mate.” He released the grip of Yuugi’s wrist. “I’ll keep watch in the other room. If anyone comes, I’ll whistle.”

He handed over the crystal to Yuugi.

“I think you need it better than I do at the moment.” He said before he turned and walked back to the stairs.

Yuugi clenched his teeth in frustration as he watched Yuusei leave him, but he knew the taller elf was right. He wouldn’t be able to save his mate if the guards came down. Hands holding on to the bars, he looked inside the cell, eyes fixated on the elf inside. He was so close, he couldn’t fail now! But how would he get in?

He examined the lock again, trying to see if there was a weak point somewhere, but he couldn’t find any, and the keyhole was way too small to lockpick with his dagger. Vainly, he tried to pull the prison door, but it didn’t budge. 

_ Don't give up, I can't give up _, he thought frantically, rapidly scanning the door and the lock again, as well as the chain for the lock. He found a link with a small fracture in it. Having a closer look, Yuugi realised it went almost all the way through the metal and wouldn't be impossible to bend open. Quickly with new awakened hope and determination, he put his dagger in and twisted it, slowly widening the crack until the link broke. 

The cell door opened, too loud to Yuugi’s liking but he didn’t care now. Within heartbeats, he was at the elf and carefully lifted her up to a half-sitting position in his lap, turning the body towards him and-

The elf wasn’t a woman.

Instead, he had a man in his arms, resting unconsciously against his chest.

Yuugi couldn’t form any coherent thoughts. All he felt was shock and a quickly growing disappointment.

This was not how it was supposed to be. This wasn’t the person he was supposed to find!

Then, the elf slowly opened his eyes.

He was trying his best to focus, with how his red irises looked around the cell without moving his head. He managed to find Yuugi’s and met his gaze. And all of a sudden, Yuugi felt a different kind of shock.

There was nothing around them anymore. The walls of the cell disappeared, and Yuugi felt himself relaxing and becoming overwhelmed with joy, basking in the light of the sun he was holding. Without realising it, he was smiling, a blubbering laugh escaping his mouth, and the man in his arms smiled back. Yuugi’s hand moved on its own and caught the jaw of the elf in his palm, gently holding him and the other elf slowly raised his own hand and let it rest on top of Yuugi’s.

“I knew you would find me.” He whispered, and Yuugi’s heart fluttered and he stroked the elf’s cheek with his thumb.

“I never gave up on you.” 

The elf’s smile widened a little before his eyes grew unfocused and he closed them, hand falling from Yuugi’s. His smile slowly faded and the light around them disappeared.

As did the joy and warmth Yuugi felt just seconds ago. Instead, the disappointment came back but it had to leave place for the panic that had started to rise in his chest. The elf didn’t show any signs of life anymore.

Holding his hand in front of the other one’s slightly opened mouth calmed him down a bit; he could feel the elf’s breathing.

But Yuugi couldn’t relax; his mate was still badly hurt and in grave need of Ryou’s healing. He had to get back to the village quickly.

Because disappointed or not, he would _ not _ allow his mate to die!

As gentle as he could, Yuugi took a better grip of the elf’s body and lifted him up. All too easy he realised, as dread came over him like a cold shower.

_ You’re not supposed to be this light_, he thought before carefully throwing the man over his shoulder, holding a steady grip with one hand and the other free for defence. He picked up his dagger, forgotten outside the cell, and jogged along the corridor back until he got to Yuusei. The wood elf gave him a surprised look.

“Your mate is a guy?”

Yuugi didn’t answer that. “We have to get out, now! I think he’s dying!”

Yuusei didn’t ask any more questions and simply nodded, and both of them started sprinting up the stairs. It seemed that no one had noticed the three dead guards they had killed on the second floor, but they were still deep down into the dungeon. Someone was going to come down and notice soon.

As they got to higher levels, they could begin to hear the distant sounds of what must’ve been the ruckus Judai had caused, but that didn’t mean they would be able to sneak out without getting detected.

And leaving without Judai was not an option.

They managed to find a new passage as they reach the one they’d come through on their way down and continued running through the open corridors and spaces. 

Then Yuusei abruptly stopped, and put out his arm in front of Yuugi, blocking his way. From a corridor to the left just in front of them, they could hear someone else sprinting towards them. Yuusei drew his sword and Yuugi took a fighting stance with his dagger in front of him. Doubt in his fighting abilities went swiftly through his head, making him wonder how good of a fighter he could be with just one arm and limited movements, but he could feel the determination of saving his mate overpower it. _ No one _ would dare to hurt him anymore.

The source of the sound rounded a corner, and a tired Judai with a cut in his arm met them, the rest of his body battered and bloody; most of it was black, thankfully, and not red. He stopped and widened his eyes when he saw them before he turned more frantic.

“More trolls have been alerted, they know we’re down here! We have to take another way!”

Yuusei was at his side instantly.

“You’re hurt!” He gasped but Judai shrugged.

“It’s not too serious, I can still run, and fight if I have to.”

Yuugi couldn’t see Yuusei’s expression but he did see the disapproval and worry in the way Yuusei held Judai’s hand and stroked his cheek. They kissed briefly, making Yuugi’s stomach twist and turn his head away; he didn’t want to see such a thing, didn’t want to think of such things at all.

But… he did want to hope for it.

His stomach made another twist.

“So we have to find a new way out. That complicates things.” Yuusei’s low voice jerked Yuugi out of his thoughts. “We can’t risk running into a dead-end and getting trapped.”

Judai nodded. He looked Yuugi’s way and Yuugi felt a ping of guilt in his chest, hating more and more just how much the wood elves sacrificed for him.

Only now did Judai realised they had been successful with the first part of the mission.

“No way! You found her?” He exclaimed happily with his eyes on the elf over Yuugi’s shoulder, and almost failed in holding himself back from shouting.

Hearing Judai using the wrong pronoun stung. “Can we quicken up and try and get out now? He’s badly hurt and I need to take him home!” Yuugi said impatiently. He was probably sounding uncharacteristically edgy, but he had no room left to care for it, his uneasiness taking up every single spot inside of him.

Judai’s eyes widened slightly in surprise.

“Oh, I thought-“ He started but stopped himself when Yuusei’s hand tightened its grip on his shoulder. “Oh, right yes, of course, we’ll find a way out! There were a lot of guards behind me but if we hurry we can backtrack to a tunnel I saw that seems to lead on upwards before the guards catch up!”

Yuugi made a simple nod and the three of them started running down the corridor where Judai had come from, where the echoes of bellowing roars and heavy footsteps were bouncing between the walls. Yuugi couldn’t deduce how far away the trolls could be. 

“In here,” Judai hissed as he ran into a smaller tunnel and Yuusei and Yuugi followed. It turned out to be a long spiralled staircase, longer than the ones leading down to the prison dungeon. Yuugi hesitated. It was a good thing they were going upwards but who knew where the stairs led to, or how they would find an exit. 

“Yuugi! Hurry!” Yuusei hissed, snapping Yuugi back into focus and the three elves ran up the stairs and quickly and silently as they could. 

The roars and thumps behind them were alarmingly close now. 

When they got to the end of the stairs, they stopped in front of a closed door. Judai pressed his ear to the wood then carefully tried the handle. 

“Fuck, it’s locked,” he cursed. 

“Then what the hell are we supposed to do then? We can’t turn back!” 

Judai didn’t seem to take notice of Yuugi, and instead jammed his sword hard into the lock and bent it, causing the metal to crack and wood to shatter, the door opening with a loud bang that made both Yuugi and Yuusei jump. 

Judai made a quick check through the door. “It seems to be an empty corridor, and I can see some windows further away! We can probably get out through there!!” 

Yuusei was suddenly at his side, taking a hold of his undamaged arm, and managed to somehow sound affectionate through angrily clenched teeth. “Judai, love, you’re making it very painful for all of us with your inability to be quiet.” 

Judai scoffed with a smile. “Pain means you’re alive.” 

“Then I must’ve lived longer than the moon itself for all the torment you cause me.” 

“Sorry to interrupt your quarrel but they heard us from below!” Yuugi hissed at them, trying to ignore the envious pang in his chest. 

The angry thunderous yelling seemed to have reached the bottom of the stairs and was now coming towards them all too quickly. The elves ran out into the corridor. It was much wider than the one they'd come from so Yuugi was sure they would run into more trolls all too soon, and if they weren’t, they had who knew how many right behind them. 

By the end of the corridor were, indeed, a couple of windows apertures, and Yuugi’s heart fluttered a little. Even if they would end up somewhere far away from where they’d sneaked in, as long as they managed to get out, Gandora would be able to find them. 

“Quick, we can get out through here!” Judai huffed as they reach the wall, only to immediately be pulled back by Yuusei as an axe came flying, missing them both by just a few inches. 

Yuugi looked down the corridor, where more trolls had seen them and now came attacking. 

“Fuck! How are we gonna-”

Yuugi barely had time to process what happened in the next few seconds. Like a smooth, well-composed dance, Judai took Yuugi’s mate off his shoulder while Yuusei took hold of Yuugi and flung him up to the window opening, where he only just managed to scramble himself together before Judai threw his mate up into his arms. 

“Judai what the-?” 

“Run, Yuugi! We’ll cover you!” 

Horror went through Yuugi’s whole body and he held his mate even closer. “No! You have to escape as well! You can’t just-”

“There’s no time Yuugi! Call Gandora, now! We’ll be fine!” 

Yuugi opened his mouth to protest again but an arrow flew right past his ears, and he let out an angry yell as he flung his mate over his shoulder again, and jumped out of the window without looking back. 

He landed on a ledge not far below, without room enough to move further to the sides and all too high to try and jump down to the next ledge below. Yuugi looked towards the sky, trying to see if Ganny was nearby, and when he couldn’t see her, he growled after her, hoping she wasn’t far away. 

An arrow hit the rock just in front of his feet and he looked up to the side, following the arrow’s arbitrary to a window higher up on the mountain, where trolls had found him and were now shooting at him the best they could, Yuugi almost being within their range. As quick as he could, he moved along the slim edge, trying to get away as much as possible, and he could hear trolls now coming after him, as they were most likely getting out from the same windows as he had. They would catch up in no time, and this was no place for him to fight and have a decent chance of getting out alive. With only one option left, he made a deep and growling yell as he desperately jumped out from the ledge, much to the trolls’ anger and frustration. 

Gandora, hearing Yuugi’s yell and flying within reach of the fortress just as Yuugi had told her, caught her master and his mate in their fall, quickly bringing them higher up in the sky to avoid the arrows being shot after them. Yuugi dropped his mate from where he hung over his shoulder to instead be held in his arms against his chest. The elf looked even more fragile outside the dungeon and Yuugi’s heart twisted; there really wasn’t any time left.

“Take us home, Ganny, and don’t stop!” Yuugi yelled and Gandora let out a growl in understanding, increasing her pace. As they flew over the mountains and turned to the west, Yuugi looked over his shoulder towards Durbatulûk that could barely be seen now. 

“Please be safe!” He whispered, hoping with all his heart the wood elves would make it out alive.

* * *

He could suddenly feel something cold against his exposed skin, despite feeling warm as well. Was he still in the dungeon? No, there hadn’t been any warmth there ever since his message had shown itself for the first time. Where was the warmth coming from? It was all around and yet didn’t cover him. Why couldn’t he feel his body anymore? Where was the floor? Why wasn’t he afraid? 

As he slowly came to the realisation that the warmth was holding him, he also realised he wasn’t lying down anymore but was being carried. Carried where? 

With great effort, he managed to open his eyes, but he didn’t have the strength to focus. It was so dark. Hadn’t there been a light just now? Where did it go? 

A small shudder went through his body, probably because of the cold because he couldn’t feel any fear inside. 

A soothing shush came from above and his breath hitched in his throat. “I got you, you’re safe now.” 

He managed to turn his head and leaned into something firm yet soft, something where a comforting beating could be heard. He couldn’t see what was above him and he didn’t understand what, or who, it was. 

All he knew was that he was safe. There was no need to fear anymore. 

Smiling, he closed his eyes, allowing his body to be completely limp and didn’t try to move anymore. He was safe, that was all that mattered, and the sun would rise in due time. He just needed to sleep, just for a while.

And so, he let himself be engulfed by darkness and fell into the deep abyss...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll try not to forget to update tomorrow ^^;;;


	6. Fears and reflections

****Darkness had fallen upon the village and most riders had gone home to their caves and cottages, ready for the night. All but the nocturnal dragons were back in their nests, curled up on their own or in pairs while the others were out hunting. 

In the healer’s cave, Ryou was sorting through the final herbs. He had been out all day to restock his supplies of necessary and vital ingredients for his healing potions, ointments, and salves. He cursed for what must’ve been the thousandth during his long elvish life for always postponing this task until his jars and boxes and shelves were almost empty. One would assume he would’ve learned his lesson by now.

But Ryou didn’t complain too much. Not only was it refreshing to get some fresh forest air, but taking some extra time flying with Benpia always brightened his mood. Finding the right herbs wasn’t easy though and demanded an observant mind and alert eyes, so every excursion still left him mentally and physically tired. Searching in the mull, under tree bark, and the river took its sweet time and so Ryou never went out unless he had plenty of time to spare.

Perhaps it was finally time to bring Shizuka with him and teach her where to find all the ingredients necessary for his stock. She had proven skilful with her healing magic, with it growing steadily day by day. She was more than ready to learn even more. Ryou promised himself that he would take her with him the next time he went out.

_ And definitely not wait until the stock’s almost empty_, he thought, smiling for himself.

Suddenly, there was a loud ruckus outside and Ryou’s smile died instantly. The tired and sad growl of a dragon warned him of a rider’s frantic return and fear rose in his chest. He begged someone wasn’t hurt that bad, a dragon without its rider doesn’t survive for long.

What came into his cave was just as horrible, though.

Yuugi was running inside with a dark-skinned, unconscious and badly injured elf in his arms, his face sweaty and eyes filled with panic.

“Yuugi, what are you-“

“Please Ryou!” Yuugi yelled with a voice that was almost cracking. “You must save him!”

Ryou didn’t have to ask why or who the man was. He had had his suspicions that Yuugi’s soulmate would’ve been in trouble but he could never have anticipated it would’ve been this bad. His insides twisted.

“Quick, lie him down,” Ryou said and nodded towards the healing bed. While Yuugi stressfully did what he was told, Ryou started picking up the herbs and bottles he might need for possible lotions and salves. He sent praises to the Divine Dragons that he had refilled everything today.

Hands filled with necessities, he hurried to the bed, putting everything on the desk beside it and did a quick but careful examination of the bruised and battered body.

“How long has he been unconscious?”

“He opened his eyes when I rescued him, as well as when we started flying, but he fainted almost immediately, a-and he hasn’t woke up ever since, and that was several hours ago. I flew as fast as I could, Gandora is almost collapsing outside but I-I couldn’t delay, he’s only become worse and I-“

“Get Shizuka.” Ryou cut off Yuugi’s rambling explanation.

“Wha-what?

Ryou turned his head and he felt just as frightened as Yuugi.

“He’s on the very brink of dying Yuugi, get Shizuka now or else I won’t be able to save him!”

Ryou didn’t have to tell Yuugi a second time, and even if he seemed reluctant to leave his mate, Yuugi ran out of the cave.

There was no time to prepare any of the salves he needed for the healing, he had to start his magic right away. He closed his eyes and focused, and with glowing hands hovering about a decimetre over the chest of the injured elf, the strings of golden light started to flow out of them. They searched their way into every part of the body, exanimating the injuries more thoroughly while healing at the same time.

Ryou gasped and his eyes snapped open; it was much worse than he thought. The heart was beating so slow it might’ve been dead already. Lungs were barely functioning and didn’t take deep enough breaths. The mind wasn’t conscious on any level and if it hadn’t died already, it was definitely lost in the dark abyss. The elf seemed to have fought a long and hard battle alone to stay alive but simply couldn’t do it anymore.

It had been a long time since Ryou had had to use every ounce of his powers or being forced to have a focus strong enough to not let any doubt fester his mind and affect his abilities in any way. Ryou was already beginning to sweat. Keeping the body alive and healing the injuries wouldn’t be possible with his strength alone, and as heartbreakingly frustrating as it was, he had to set for the former.

He had lost many battles against death before, and it never got any easier. But he had borne the guilt and learned from it.

This was a battle he couldn’t afford to lose if he didn’t want to lose Yuugi as well. He cursed at the horrible concept of soulmates; if one died, the other followed in the majority of the cases.

Ryou barely heard the quick footsteps behind him, as Yuugi and Shizuka entered the cave. Shizuka’s gasp was hard to miss though, and she hurried to Ryou’s side.

“Hurry Shizuka, we need the strongest salves we have for tissue repair and vigour increase.” He ordered. “I have the necessary herbs here.”

A raised and panic-filled voice behind them made both of them surprised and Shizuka jerked of the overwhelming force in it, a voice very uncharacteristic for Yuugi.

“Shouldn’t you focus on healing his injuries?! Why would he need vigour?!”

Ryou could barely talk while working, but Yuugi needed to calm down and know the seriousness of the situation.

“His body doesn’t have any strength or energy left.” He panted. “Right now, my magic is the only thing keeping him alive. And we won’t be able to do much else unless there’s something to work with!” 

He did his best to look over his shoulder without losing his focus and look at his friend.

“Please Yuugi, trust us. We’re doing everything we can and we _ don’t _ want to lose this fight.”

Ryou didn’t wait for a response and didn’t expect one either. Shizuka was now done preparing the necessary salves out of the herbs and liquids Ryou had brought. Standing on the other side of his master, she ripped open the elf’s shirt and immediately started to pour the stamina regaining ointment over the torso and arms, and then carefully massaged it into the skin with gentle hands, glowing with magic. Ryou could see how much she forced the stress away and focused on the task being done as fast but still thoroughly as possible. He couldn’t blame her for having an anxious mind, but he was proud of her. She did very well, despite the difficulty of the critical session. This was by far the most serious healing she had ever been part of, and it saddened Ryou that she had to endure it when she was yet to have enough experience for such a demanding procedure.

It was clear Yuugi was alert and tense behind them even if he didn’t say anything and Ryou wished he could’ve done something for him as well. But he couldn’t leave, couldn’t afford to lose focus.

After many long minutes, Shizuka had worked in most of the salve when there finally was a change. It was subtle, but energy started to flow in the body again. The desirable result though wasn’t as good as Ryou had hoped it would be. Heartbeats were harder but still too slow and without enough force to kick-start itself properly. Lungs tried to take deeper inhales but were still too shallow, not getting enough oxygen into the blood. Muscles tensed up only to go limp within the same heartbeat. And the mind shifted as if in deep sleep close to waking up, but disappeared into the dark abyss again.

Ryou’s heart sank, it wasn’t enough. And Shizuka didn’t miss it either.

“Master…” She said, sounding petrified.

“Don’t stop, he needs the rest of it,” Ryou ordered, refusing to give up just yet, and intensified his magical flow.

Yuugi immediately got as close as he could without being in the way, but close enough for Ryou to see the terror in his eyes and an anxious mind on the very edge of breaking.

Shizuka nodded, tears in the corner of her eyes, and added the next potion of tissue repair in dots all over the body. She carefully, and very gently, pressed the small areas with firm fingertips glowing in silvers of focused magic, moving between the spots in a manner much calmer than she looked like, and still working as fast as possible. But as much as apprentice and master wanted to move quicker, such intense magic couldn’t be rushed. And the more minutes that passed, the harder the hope of winning became.

Death was a strong opponent and Ryou knew that better than anyone. And no matter how much one would wish for a better outcome, sometimes it wasn’t possible to do anything else but admit defeat.

He refused to give up. This battle would not be over until it was over, and unless the elf died for real, Ryou would _ not _ give up. His stubbornness affected Shizuka as well, even when tears started to run down her cheeks as she worked and she barely dared to hope.

And nothing happened.

It didn’t get worse but it didn’t get any better either. Ryou was a powerful healer but his energy levels weren’t infinite and he was getting tired, Shizuka more so. And exhausting themselves into unconsciousness wouldn’t help anyone, and the elf would, in that case, be doomed to die.

Ryou never prayed and he didn’t really know how, but as he pushed himself even harder, he had only one thing in his head.

_ Please, he must be saved. Help us. _

The elf suddenly made a sharp inhale and a guttural sound scaring them all.

“Shizuka, I need your magic, _ now _!” Ryou shouted, knowing this was the only chance they would get.

Yuugi made a panicked sound close to a sob.

Shizuka’s hands joined Ryou’s and lay flat on top of his, magic flowing out and make it glow even brighter, strings of silver mixed with Ryou’s golden ones.

The body jerked from the doubled power being injected, and neither Ryou nor Shizuka could suddenly keep up the pace.

If it had been going too slow on the brink of nothing changing, everything happened too fast now. Blood was flowing rapidly and heartbeats became too hard and too fast and lungs remembered how to breathe again making the elf pant and muscles repaired themselves and the mind finally waking up panicking and actively fighting against death together with the healers.

Shizuka whimpered from the force of the frightened soul that made it harder for her to work.

“Yuugi, hold him!” Ryou yelled. He needed Shizuka’s absolute focus in this critical moment.

Yuugi was at the head of the bed instantly, holding both of the elf’s hands in a hard grip. Tears were flowing down his cheeks.

“You must live, please,” he whispered to his mate and Ryou’s heart cracked hearing it. He pushed himself even further, taking Shizuka with him and the glowing magic started shining bright enough to hurt his eyes, so he closed them. Both of the healers were panting just as hard as the elf now and their hands were shaking of the intense magic.

The elf suddenly screamed as if in intense pain, and Yuugi tightened his grip even harder, both of them tensing up as Ryou and Shizuka made one final effort and the lighting of their magic grew into a ball big enough to swallow all of them.

And then silence came as abruptly as the elf’s scream had come.

The magic died away and the normal light returned to the room, the air barely breathable. The elf went limp and lost his strength in the grip he had of Yuugi’s hands.

Shizuka fell on her knees to the floor, quietly sobbing.

Ryou made a long exhale, steadying himself on his still shaking arms and tried to breathe normally again.

He opened his eyes and turned his head to meet Yuugi’s alarmed face.

And Ryou smiled.

“He’ll live, Yuugi.” He whispered in relief, feeling weak after the most intense healing he’d ever had to do. “He’ll live.”

Yuugi snivelled before he burst into tears again. His hands, still holding the elf’s, were brought to his forehead, eyes closed.

“Thank you,” He whispered, choking back a sob.

Ryou looked at the now peacefully sleeping man, and while every muscle in Ryou’s body ached and longed for rest, he slowly walked on shaking legs to the cupboard and found a blanket of fur. Carefully, he got back to the bed and draped it over the elf.

“He might’ve run out of energy, but he wasn’t willing to give up once we strengthened him,” Ryou said. “Else we’d have failed.” 

Yuugi looked up, gratitude shining through his tears, and Ryou couldn’t help but walk over to him and give him a kiss on the forehead.

“All he needs now is rest, and it’ll be okay.” He whispered and Yuugi nodded.

Ryou looked over at Shizuka, who was trying to stand. Her face was sweaty, eyes and cheeks wet with relief and arms slightly shaking. He nodded towards her and got a nod back. Their task was done and now they should leave.

Before Ryou followed Shizuka through the cave opening, he turned back to Yuugi.

“If you need us, or he wakes up, just call for us.”

Yuugi nodded again.

Ryou smiled, even if Yuugi didn’t see it with his head bowed down, then he left the cave for some well-deserved sleep.

* * *

The luminous stones barely had any light in them when Yuugi’s tears finally stopped flowing. He was still holding hand with his mate but now sitting on the bedside instead. Somewhere in his mind, he knew he should go to his own cave and rest; the beginning of a headache from too many hours of rushing adrenaline of fear and panic as well as lack of sleep had started to grow and steadily became worse. And he was definitely in need of simpler healing as well from all the bruises and small cuts he had gotten from the escape from Durbatulûk.

But he couldn’t sleep. And he couldn’t leave.

Instead, he continued watching the man sleeping with a now content face and a subtle smile.

Yuugi was anything but content.

Now that he finally could relax in a safe environment without the stress of saving his soulmate’s life, he could let his thoughts wander free.

And the disappointment he had felt briefly back in the cell returned.

He had never considered his soulmate to be a man, no matter how Ryou had been very open about the possibility. He hadn’t had a single “what if?” in his head. He had been so sure, and he had looked forward to finally get a proper purpose and be of use to his tribe in a way that was only his, and no longer be anything but the helper, and gambler with the trolls. Dreams with him raising a family on his own had been one of his favourite kinds, but they always left him with sadness when he woke up. He had wanted them to be true.

He just wanted to be invaluable, and having kids would’ve been enough for him, or so he’d hoped at least.

Yuugi would never know now. He would continue to be nothing and not contributing enough.

His chest turned so heavy and constricted he could barely breathe.

_ You shouldn’t need a backup, and you shouldn’t think about having one_.

Anzu’s voice reminded him of the cold fact. He had been relying too much on this backup plan. He had been too focused on how finding a soulmate would fix all his problems, how it would finally set his mind at peace.

He never could’ve guessed he would be in even bigger distress now.

Or the intensity of how the bond would truly feel like. Or rather how deep it went.

Yuugi had seen the commitment the bonding created. He had seen how Seto seemed to adore the ground Kisara walked on as much as she seemed to cherish the air he breathed. He had seen the weird bickering Malik and Bakura did that could easily be seen as disgust and slander, but no one had ever seen them without the other, and never with more than a few metres apart. He had seen the atonement of Mai and Rafael and how little they needed to talk with each other, and how deep the respect they had for one another went. He had seen it in his mother and how there was a sun shining brighter in their cave when his father occasionally got home, a light too intense for simpler terms as love and attraction.

Hell, he had seen it clear as a day in Judai and Yuusei, how blurred strings of destiny in red and blue vowed together into purple around them.

Throughout his life, it had been almost uncomfortable to see. Yuugi was pretty sure it was only because of his own intense longing that he’d suffered from this weird jealousy. Witnessing such intimacy had done nothing but remind him of what he wanted, what he thought he needed.

Being there himself now made him realise how little the bond between mates could be seen from the outside. No one had told him it was just the tip of an iceberg.

His disappointment wasn’t strong enough to kill the intense pull of care and affection he felt towards the elf. In his whole body and spirit, Yuugi was filled with almost a desperate sentiment of wholeness inside. It didn’t matter that he knew absolutely nothing about this elf; Yuugi couldn’t live, and would not survive without him. The agonizing dismay he had felt earlier when his mate almost died had been near destroying him completely, and his heart ached just thinking about it. Never would he let anyone hurt his mate ever again.

The devotion inside of him collided heavily with his discontent, making his headache even worse. Because while being inseparable without another person was blissful, it was also terrifyingly disorienting.

Decisions made by fate were definitely the curse of the elves, Yuugi realised. It had little to nothing to do with love, and Yuugi was anything but comfortable with how involuntarily it was, and how pointless it was to fight against it. Destiny couldn’t be changed.

It didn’t mean Yuugi had to like it.

_ Why did you do this to me destiny? _ He thought. _ What did I do to deserve this? _

It was selfish of him to think that, and he hated that he didn’t seem capable of getting over his disappointment and feel genuine happiness over all this. The confliction was almost unbearable.

Yuugi carefully stroked his thumb on the other elf’s hand. His mate did not deserve such harsh thinking.

Maybe it would feel better when they actually got to know each other. Yuugi didn’t have much else than his mate’s appearance to go after. And even that wasn’t a lot at the moment.

His hair was messy and dirty and probably much softer and silkier when cleaned and brushed. It was eerily akin to Yuugi’s but still different enough. He had similar blonde bangs being both longer and smaller than Yuugi’s, almost in the shapes of lightning bolts, They were pointing upwards in the long-haired black mess, its tips dipped in reddish instead, with a small hint magenta. It almost had the form of a star but Yuugi couldn’t be sure. The darker colour of his skin was spotty with grease and who knew how old bloodstains, but with a pleasantly warm brown shining through. He was definitely from the southern desert tribes. His face was sharp, and Yuugi couldn’t tell if it was only because he was underfed or if his face normally was more angular than Yuugi’s. The arms were thin but Yuugi could see the not-so-faded muscles being slightly bigger than his own. An image of them wrapping around him in an embrace entered his mind but he waved it away quickly. He didn’t want to think of such things yet.

_ Yet? How about not at all? _

Yuugi frowned. Now that was unfair thinking. And it didn’t do well with his head. His shoulders slumped as he made a tired sigh.

_ I just want to know who you are; I want to know your name_. He thought sadly, as the luminous stones lost their last bit of light and the cave turned into darkness before the dawn.

* * *

“Yuugi?”

Yuugi’s eyes snapped open and he lifted his head, dizzy from being newly awake.

“Have you been here all night?” Ryou asked.

Yuugi looked around as his mind became clearer and clearer. Apparently, he had fallen asleep sitting on the floor, head rested on the bedside and still holding the hand of his mate. And as he got more awake, he realised how much his body didn’t approve of it; everything hurt and he could barely move his head properly, his neck stiffened of the unusual sleeping position.

Ryou was already at his side and held his hands just centimetres from Yuugi’s neck, correcting it as well as helping his body loosen up. The warmth of the healing made Yuugi want to fall asleep again, where didn’t really matter (for the sake of his body though, preferably not leaned against a bed).

“Oh… Oh, dragons divined, I’m sorry Yuugi,” Ryou suddenly said, taking Yuugi off-guard. ”I forgot to heal _ your _ bruises and cuts yesterday.” 

Yuugi smiled, he had forgotten about it as well during his anxious contemplating last night. The headache hadn’t really disappeared though now that he was almost fully awake.

“I’m fine Ryou, but could you do something about my head? I’ve had a terrible headache ever since the healing was completed last night.”

Ryou raised an eyebrow but nodded and moved his hands to each side of Yuugi’s head instead, letting the golden strings search their way to the rest of the body as well.

Their warmth did an excellent job, all bruises and small cuts disappeared nicely. Except for Yuugi’s headache, the throbbing stayed unchanged.

Ryou’s raised eyebrows lowered into a frown instead.

“I… I ‘m not saying that I don’t believe you Yuugi, but… I can’t heal what isn’t there.”

That made Yuugi awake completely and he looked at Ryou with big eyes.

“What do you mean ‘isn’t there’?”

“I can only heal physical pain, Yuugi. But your headache seems to be psychological since my magic can’t find it.”

That couldn’t…

How was it even…

“Does that really happen?” Yuugi asked in almost a whisper, his mind not capable of receiving the information he never could’ve thought existed.

“It does. Very rarely, but it does happen.”

Done with his healing of the rest of the body, Ryou instead studied Yuugi’s face carefully, before turning his eyes to the sleeping elf on the bed.

“Did you say that you’ve had that headache ever since the healing was done?”

Yuugi hesitated a bit before answering.

“Yes.”

He wasn’t sure what to make of Ryou’s concerned expression but the healer didn’t say anything.

“I have to look this up properly, this makes me worried. “ Ryou suddenly said while standing up. ”But until then, you better focus on eating and drinking and get some more sleep.”

A pang of discomfort ran through Yuugi’s body as he stood up, still holding his mate’s hand. Ryou gave him a sympathetic smile.

“He’s safe here Yuugi, nothing will harm him now.”

Yuugi turned his head, looking at the peaceful, sleeping face. He knew that. He knew nothing would happen if he left his mate here.

But he couldn’t go. He couldn’t even let go of the hand. And while he hadn’t even thought of it, he knew the reason right away.

“I want to be here when he wakes up.” He whispered.

Ryou didn’t answer that, what could he even say? And Yuugi didn’t say anything more either, but instead sat down on the bedside again, not taking away his eyes from his mate.

“I’ll… send someone then.” Ryou said after a while and exited the cave, not even sure if Yuugi had heard him.

* * *

Yuugi didn’t leave the bedside all day. Ryou later sent Shizuka with some dried fruits and crackers but Yuugi barely ate anything and didn’t talk more than he had to. His mate continued sleeping without any change or movements, but Ryou checked in more than he had to for Yuugi’s sake. If only to see that his best friend was okay. 

The news about Yuugi’s return had spread to the rest of the tribe, resulting in all too many curious visitors for Ryou to send away. It was better for both Yuugi’s and his mate’s sake that they got to be disturbed as little as possible. The only one he’d allowed inside was Mai, but she kept her visit short, and only asked for the abridged version of Yuugi’s journey and so Yuugi did, without giving too many details (the part about Durbatulûk had made Mai squint her eyes in concern). Before she left, she told them to call for her if anything changed. Ryou had nodded but in reality, he wasn’t planning on telling Mai anything at all until things were stable. And he had other matters to deal with as well, such as Yuugi’s headache which refused to become better. Ryou couldn’t get a grip around it, why he had it and what could be done about it. Ryou’s personal library of scrolls didn’t help him as he went through them, so he suspected that he might need to ask for permission to use the tribe’s sacred texts, which he really wasn’t all too keen on doing. Mai wouldn’t deny him access, but it would be more difficult to find the needed information because of the amount of unsorted knowledge there. 

_ It doesn’t matter if it’ll be difficult_, Ryou thought as he stood in the cave opening watching Yuugi sleep on the bedside again, but at least with a small pillow under his head for the sake of his neck.

_ I won’t allow Yuugi to be in this sort of pain_.

Carefully walking up to the bed, he did a quick check on Yuugi’s mate, letting the gold flow over the body, but everything was stable still. As he withdrew his magic, Ryou threw a look at Yuugi, wanting to do a check on him as well but Ryou didn’t want to risk waking his friend. All he could do was simply watch Yuugi sleep with furrowed eyebrows, and Ryou couldn’t tell if they were from restless sleep or the headache.

A soundless sigh escaped his lips and with a lowered head he exited the cave, as his mind tried to plan for how to start tomorrow’s continuing research.

And behind him, Yuugi shuddered in his sleep, as an unconscious hand gave his a light squeeze.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact, this is actually the very first chapter I wrote and finished last year, and what the whole story grew from. I had no idea where it would begin or how it would end or what the main plot would be, at all.


	7. Arisen obstacles

_ Plains of never-ending green stretched out before him, and a new sun rising at the horizon, warming his dark skin after ages in a dark and cold void. He had forgotten what it felt like, and even if he wasn’t familiar with this brightness, he felt safe in it. _

_ _

_ He closed his eyes, his heart feeling lighter than it had in such a long time. Memories of a bad dream were fading quickly and made him forget the meaning of the word suffering, filling his chest with a feeling of inner peace. _

_ _

_ He felt it more than he heard it, a beckoning coming from above him. He opened his eyes and saw a gate far up in the sky. It sang a silent melody, trying its best to soothe him and allure him through the doors. He smiled at it. There were no stairs leading up to it, and although he didn’t know how and when he knew it had been destroyed. And he couldn’t be happier about it. He didn’t belong there anymore. He had a purpose now. _

_ _

_ A singing voice was heard behind him, making his heart flutter. He didn’t recognise the words in the melody, he couldn’t even tell if there were words at all or just sounds. Not that it mattered; he loved it nonetheless and turned towards it. _

_ _

_ The voice belonged to a person shining brighter than the sun on the horizon, almost blinding him, but the blaze was anything but hurting. He could no longer feel the warmth from the sunrise; this person was the only light he needed. _

_ _

_ The person continued his slow walk until he was right in front of him. Purple eyes met his own, making it impossible for him to look away but he didn’t want to, he wanted to be lost in the depth of the glittering stars. Hands found his and held them gently. The person smiled, and all he could do was smile back, as their faces got even closer. His fluttering heart was now pounding in a hard but pleasant rhythm, their lips almost touching- _

* * *

He woke up, the dream fading away but leaving him with great content and a smile lingering from the overflowing happiness in his chest, and he did his best to open his eyes properly.

The sight of a stony roof made him almost jerk of a sudden pang of terror, was he still in the dungeon?

Softness underneath him erased that thought; there hadn’t been anything but a cold floor of stone in his cell. And there had never been anything warm to hide under.

Luminous mushrooms growing on the walls gave light to his surroundings without being too bright, and he could now see he was in a sort of cave and on a bed under a pelt of fur, foreign in both colour and texture, with his upper body resting on enough pillows to put him in a half-sitting position.

The warmth made him drift back in the comforting bliss the dream had left him with. He closed his eyes, a single tear running down his cheek; he had been found. He had been saved.

His eyes snapped open. He had been saved!

Only now did he realise someone was holding one of his hands. He turned his head to the side, only to lay eyes on the most beautiful elf he had ever seen.

The elf was sleeping on the bedside with his head resting on his arm, a pillow underneath in what seemed to be an attempt to make it more comfortable. Blonde bangs similar to his own, but shorter and thicker, framed the small face, with an even shorter and thinner bang in the middle going down between his eyes. His short hair shared the same blackness but the tips dipped in purple. Vague memories of eyes in the same colour entered his mind, but perhaps he’d been too weak to see it properly.

He couldn’t place the clothes the other wore. Granted, he hadn’t met that many elves from different tribes in his life, but he could tell that this elf wasn’t from the south or even the west. The leathery shirt looked thicker than any cloth he was used to, and it was lined with something fluffy that definitely had been white once upon a time but now had more of a grey colour. They had to be somewhere to the north, then, and the chilly air in the cave convinced him even further. 

Not that it mattered to him; he had more joyous things to ponder about.

And he almost didn’t dare to believe it, for a brief moment he thought he was having another dream and it still wasn’t real, that he hadn’t woken up just yet. But the elf holding his hand in a tight grip couldn’t be anything else than that.

He had a soulmate. He actually had a soulmate that had saved him. He finally had a future.

Mixed with his delight, impatience hit him in full force. He couldn’t wait to get to know his mate better. By the gods, he didn’t even know the other’s name! And while he couldn’t deny that it was a bit eerie to feel so close and so complete with a stranger, the peace that filled his empty heart overpowered anything else.

Affectionately, he stroked his thumb over the other one’s hand.

The elf shuddered and opened his eyes. Seconds of confusion filled them as he got more awake. He looked at their hand-holding, and then lifted his head so their eyes met.

More memories from the dungeon sprung into his mind. The same purple eyes from back then as well as in his dream locked with his red ones, and he neither could nor wanted to look away.

And suddenly, he didn’t know what to say. How does one begin a conversation with someone you couldn’t live without yet didn’t know? 

The other seemed just as abashed as he was and didn’t say anything either, but he slowly got up to sit on the bedside instead, still holding his hand and still looking him in the eye. Eyes that suddenly got watery.

“I’m glad you’re awake.” The other said, squeezing his hand.

He tried to squeeze back but he found he didn’t have enough strength.

“I knew you would find me.” He said in a raspy voice he didn’t recognise as his own, and he coughed a bit. He was sure he’d already said those words back in the dungeon but his memories were a little fuzzy.

The other squeezed his hand with both of his now.

“Don’t try to talk if it’s too much for you, you’re still recovering.”

Recovering? Had his injuries been that bad?

As if the other had heard him, he continued.

“I nearly lost you; you were on the very brink of death when I got you here.”

A ping of guilt hurt his chest. He had relaxed too much when he had been found since it hadn’t felt necessary to fight for his own survival anymore. He had been saved and that was all that had mattered. So learning that he’d been weak enough to welcome death as soon as he relaxed was frightening.

“I’m so sorry,” he apologised, almost in a whisper, feeling the sting of tears that threatened to run down his cheeks, but he angrily blinked them away. He didn’t want forgiveness out of sympathy.

The other frowned.

“You have nothing to apologise for! None of it was your fault.”

He flinched at that. Why of course it was his fault.

Frown turned into concern.

“How… how could it be your fault?” The other asked.

He swallowed. His mate should definitely learn the whole story, but…

A hand caressed his arm gently.

“You don’t have to tell me now if it’s too much.”

The tears he had tried his best to stop were now running and he felt overwhelmed. Who would’ve thought his mate would be of such understanding and kind nature? It was almost like he could read his mind, or at least his feelings. Or… perhaps it was a soulmate thing.

He didn’t care. At least not about that, he had wonders of a different kind.

“I… I want to know your name instead.” He managed to say, voice still hoarse.

The other straightened himself a bit.

“I’m Yuugi of the Dragon Riders; you’re in our village at the foot of the mountain.”

So they were indeed in the north. He’d heard stories about dragon riders but never seen or met anyone himself. And dragons were a thing in myths and legends, and from what he could remember in those stories, they were beasts that could, and would, kill on sight.

The thought of his mate, no Yuugi, riding a dragon was a terrifying one, and his mind started racing with images of how such monsters would look like, how big they were, how many teeth they had-

“What’s your name?” Yuugi asked, pulling him back to reality.

He coughed again, clearing his throat as he tried to regain his normal voice.

“I’m Atem.” He said, his voice a bit clearer.

“A-tem.” Yuugi tried. “Are you from the south?”

“Yes, I’m from the northwest part of the desert.”

“I see.”

Silence returned.

And Atem felt how the atmosphere grew more uncomfortable with every second. It was surprising as well as distressful, and he couldn’t understand why. There wasn’t supposed to be any… discomfort between soulmates, was there? Soulmates were supposed to be attuned and to have a serene bond no other sort of relationship could even come close to.

And yet…

Then he felt something completely new, something that made him more anxious than he’d ever been.

From Yuugi, he could suddenly feel and read colours of different shades, and even though there were nothing to see or hear, his mind could still understand them clear as if they had been spoken.

Atem swallowed hard. This couldn’t be.

“You’re uncomfortable with our bond.” He stated, his heart aching even more when he saw the reaction in Yuugi’s face.

* * *

Yuugi swallowed, hard. He hadn’t been prepared for Atem to read his mind like this, and he certainly wasn’t prepared to feel Atem’s distress back at him. Granted, Yuugi was a horrible liar and had never been able to put up a good poker face unless there was a game going on, but Atem had hit the target all too well. And while Yuugi didn’t believe in secrecy and dishonesty, he didn’t feel comfortable with being this naked. Knowing that the concept of how a time and place for everything didn’t exist anymore, disturbed him.

Would he never be able to keep his mind to himself? Was there never going to be any privacy ever again?

The curse of soulmates got even more unfair, and it didn’t do well with his headache.

Before he could stop it, every thought of discomfort that he’d felt ever since Atem had been found ran through his head, his anxious disappointment following as a wave.

Atem jerked and looked away. Yuugi’s eyes grew twice the size.

“Did you just…?” He didn’t dare to finish the question.

“No, but I felt it.”

Atem slowly turned his head back to Yuugi, hurt shining visibly in his eyes. Yuugi didn’t need colours to know how intense it was.

“Why do you feel that way?”

How would he be able to explain that? Especially for someone from a completely different culture that while he knew nothing about it, he still imagined as one being the opposite of his own. He had never met anyone from the sun tribes.

“I… “ he started but turned quiet when Atem released his grip of Yuugi’s hand and instead let it rest on top of it, stroking him gently with the thumb.

“If it’s too hard to tell then just… let me feel it.”

For a short moment, Yuugi wondered if it was possible to actually shut out his mate, but the very concept seemed impossible and quite ridiculous.

It didn’t help that Atem was afraid of getting an answer. No matter what he would say or think or feel, he suspected Atem would be hurt. And that was nothing he wanted to happen.

Reluctantly, he let his mind run free, trying his best to sort out the emotions that accompanied his thoughts. He wasn’t sure how well the mind link worked if colours were the only thing that could be read or if thoughts were just as easy to see.

“You don’t feel like you have a purpose,” Atem said after a while. “Why do you feel that?”

Was it possible to explain a lifetime with a colour palette? Yuugi couldn’t stop the flow of emotions but he had certainly lost control on how the swirls spoke now, he was sure it was a complete mess. He tried his best to still keep them all from blending together too much. As he opened the final doors, Atem turned confused as well as guilty.

“What is it that I can’t give you?”

_ Why would it even matter now? _ Yuugi thought _ . It shouldn’t matter anymore. _

He didn’t have to send anything, though; Atem put the final pieces together on his own.

“Oh…” He said, sounding weak and his guilt even more obvious now.

The awkward silence from before stretched out once again between them and Yuugi wanted nothing more but to apologise for not feeling genuinely happy about their bond. He wanted to be able to tell Atem that it was okay as long as they were together.

But Yuugi couldn’t. He had carried his wishes and hopes for far too long on almost unhealthy levels and it was impossible for him to let go of it so easily.

_ I’m a horrible person _ , he thought, lowering his head.

The hand on top of his tightened its grip. Yuugi raised his head and was met by stern eyes and a frown.

“Don’t you dare think about it,” Atem said in a low voice.

Yuugi was taken aback by Atem’s words. Had he been wrong about how the mind link worked? Was it, in fact, possible to read  _ actual  _ thoughts?

Why couldn’t he do it with Atem then?

Atem’s grip tightened a bit more.

“I can see you devalue yourself and I won’t allow it.”

Ah, so it wasn’t possible then.

That didn’t stop Yuugi from feeling awful.

“You don’t know me. You know nothing of my strengths and abilities.”

“True, but one who manages to sneak inside Durbatulûk for the sake of saving another person and get out alive isn’t a terrible person, in  _ any _ way.”

“I had help; I had never been able to do it on my own.” 

“And why would that affect you as a person and your abilities?”

Yuugi didn’t have an answer for that. He just wanted to drop the subject.

Atem got a remorseful expression, his eyes softening.

“I’m sorry I can’t give you want. But I want to help you find a purpose.”

Yuugi swallowed. As much as he appreciated Atem’s concern, he also knew how insignificant it was in the long run.

“I don’t think you can do that,” Yuugi whispered, colours of disbelief radiating from him.

For a second, Yuugi could feel a hopeless disappointment coming from Atem before it disappeared into nothing, Atem’s expression turning just as empty.

Realising he couldn’t read or feel anything from his mate, Yuugi felt a wave of panic throughout his body, something that only got more intense when Atem released his grip on Yuugi’s hand and turned against the wall.

“I’m tired, I should sleep more.” He said, voice just as empty, leaving Yuugi going from panic to downright terrified.

For a couple of seconds, Yuugi fought with his discordant thoughts. Part of him wanted to thank Atem for being so kind and considerate, another part wanted to stay and comfort his now obviously crestfallen mate, and take back everything he’d felt and said, and another part of him wanted to disappear and never come back.

And an overwhelming strong part of him wanted to annihilate everything in his head and blindly follow his heart.

He made another attempt and tried to read or feel anything from Atem, but he still couldn’t.

_ Please don’t shut me out _ , he wanted to say but found himself unable to do so. Begging wouldn’t lead him anywhere now.

Slowly, he got up from the bed and walked towards the exit, for the first time in two days. He still hesitated at the cave opening and turned to look at Atem’s back. His head throbbed and his chest felt compressed. He didn’t want to leave. But he couldn’t stay either, not at the moment.

Mind as open as he could manage, colours as clear as they could be, he invited Atem to listen and hoped that he would.

_ I might not like this, but I found you. And I don’t ever want to lose you. _

He didn’t wait for an answer or a confirmation Atem had heard him. As tears in the corners of his eyes threatened to fall, he left his mate behind and exited the cave.

* * *

Atem felt cold under the pelt, now that he was alone, and he would’ve curled up if he had been able to move properly. He had felt Yuugi’s sincere thoughts clear as crystal but it didn’t help.

He had always thought soulmates came to terms immediately and the awkwardness of getting to know a new person would be of a simple matter since the bond was so strong, or if there would be any difficulties at all, so Yuugi’s disappointment was the last thing he could’ve expected.

_ Heart to heart are soul mates bound, and soul meets soul when eyes meet eyes. _

That was what he had heard all his life, what the old songs and stories and hymns had told him. And he had thought it would be enough, that bonds between soulmates came as natural as breathing.

Atem never could’ve imagined he would be choking. And it hurt to learn that his mate was suffering as well, if not more since he was the one with the conflicted heart.

He and Yuugi were truly bonded, and none of them could, or tried, to deny it. But if Yuugi never accepted it, they wouldn’t be able to go forward, ever.

“Yuugi,” he whispered but he lost the thought. Instead, he shuddered, hugged the pelt even closer around him as silent tears lulled him into a restless sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please check out the art piece Jujuoh made for this chapter and give it the love it deserves:   
https://jujuoh.tumblr.com/post/187319177217/heres-my-piece-for-tarashimas-yu-gi-oh-big


	8. Complication and resolve

Ryou breathed in the chilly morning air; it had been raining during the night it seemed. The majority of the tribe, as well as the dragons, weren’t that fond of rain but Ryou liked it. Especially during spring as the winter disappeared little by little.

It would be a few hours before most of the riders would be up, but Ryou preferred the early mornings alone.

At the moment though, he was more concerned about Yuugi and his mate and wanted to check in on them as early as possible, to see what night had changed. The two earlier mornings might’ve been uneventful, and this would probably be as well, but Ryou never wanted to assume things.

As he got inside the cave, he wasn’t surprised to see Yuugi sitting there on the bedside.

But he was surprised to see that Yuugi wasn’t holding hands with his mate anymore. And as Ryou got closer, he saw that Yuugi’s eyes were red, just as he would’ve…

Alarmed, he quickly went over to Yuugi.

“Yuugi, are you okay? You look like you’ve been cry-“

“I’m just tired Ryou, I barely slept last night,” Yuugi said with his eyes still focused on his mate.

Ryou was taken aback by that. He should’ve been happy to hear there wasn’t anything to be alarmed by, but Yuugi’s reddened eyes together with his slumped shoulders and hands in his lap told him something wasn’t right.

He looked at the sleeping man in the bed. Something felt off with him as well, but as Ryou hastily did a check-up with his magic, he couldn’t see what it might be. Everything seemed fine.

“Have there been any changes?” He asked instead as the golden strings retreated back into his hands.

“He woke up during the night.”

Ryou turned his head towards Yuugi. Something was definitely not right. Yuugi should’ve been overjoyed, or at least relieved about it, but he didn’t seem to be. Instead, he looked… remorseful?

He looked back at the sleeping elf. Yuugi’s questionable expression aside, the fact that his mate had woken up was a good thing.

“How was he when he woke up?” Ryou asked, the healer in him taking over.

“Okay, I think, just weak. But he went back to sleep pretty quickly.”

Well, that was to be expected. But there were more questions that needed answers.

“He didn’t say anything?”

“He told me his name and where he’s from, and… we talked briefly.”

Judging from Yuugi’s monotone voice, Ryou felt like that talk might be what bothered Yuugi and so he didn’t want to pry. It couldn’t hurt to ask just a little more, though. “So, what’s his name?”

“Atem, he’s from one of the sun tribes.”

That explained the skin colour. Ryou wondered if Atem might be of upper-class in his tribe, his name sounded quite regal. 

It was too early for that sort of pondering, and Ryou decided to not push Yuugi any further, at least not at the moment.

“Let him sleep some more. I want to check up on him properly when he wakes up again, but it’s a good sign of recovery that he already has.”

Yuugi nodded slowly. Still a bit displeased about his reaction, Ryou walked to the opening of his study, ready to go through a few scrolls Mai had let him borrow.

“I’ll be here doing some research, just call when he’s awake.”

Yuugi nodded again. Ryou walked inside his study, hoping he would get the answers he wanted when he would have two people to talk to.

* * *

_ He couldn’t tell if he was lost or not, as he wandered through the mist. It didn’t feel like it, he knew where he should go, even if he couldn’t remember where it was or what he was supposed to find there. _

_ No, that was a lie. He knew what he looked for. _

_ A sunrise. _

_ And even that wasn’t the entire truth. _

_ He was searching for the highest point of the sun. The very last top before it would start setting again. Only this sun would never set. It wasn’t supposed to. _

_ The mist made the task more difficult but he hadn’t lost hope. He might not be able to feel the warmth but he could feel the pull towards it. All he had to do was to follow it, despite its discouraging vagueness. _

_ He almost collided with the wall in front of him, unable to see it until he was up close. He wasn’t prepared for it to be there. Tentative hands touched its stony surface; it felt cold and almost burning. _

_ Looking up along it, he couldn’t see the top of it, the mist becoming quite troublesome now. It didn’t seem to end when he looked to the sides. But… it had to have an end somewhere. This wasn’t his destination. _

_ His chest was filled with dread. Which direction should he take? The pull couldn’t help him, its magic coming from directly through the wall. _

_ What if he took the wrong way? What if the opening he needed to find was in the opposite direction of where he chose to go? _

_ He searched the wall in front of him for clues but couldn’t find any. _

Hey, you.

_ He flinched at the sudden voice in the air. Frantically, he looked around but he couldn’t figure out where the voice came from or who it was. He was almost too afraid to answer. _

Hey.

_ “Who… who are you?” He called carefully. _

Wake up.

_ Wake up? But he hadn’t found what he was looking for! Why would he wake up? He wasn’t even sleeping! _

_ Wait, was he? _

Hey you, wake up.

_ He shook his head, he couldn’t just leave now. _

_ And that’s when the wall collapsed over him… _

Atem woke up with a shudder and a gasp, feeling disoriented for a few seconds before he realised it had only been a dream. One that had escalated too quickly for his taste, and left him with a worried mind and breathing slightly too fast.

“Atem?” He heard beside him.

For a second it felt like all his body functions stopped working. Who was calling him?

He turned his head and looked into concerned eyes.

A quick moment of euphoria went through Atem’s body at the sight of Yuugi and the knowledge that he was in a safe place, but it vanished just as swiftly when he remembered their talk during the night.

And Yuugi didn’t seem like he had forgotten either.

Uncomfortable seconds of silence went on just like it had last night and Atem felt like going back to sleep again, but the dark rings under Yuugi’s eyes stole his focus. Had Yuugi not slept at all? And hadn’t he left the cave after their talk? How long was he gone before he came back? The colours radiating from him didn’t give him any answers and he couldn’t help but get worried.

“I’m… going to get Ryou.” Yuugi suddenly said, rising from the bedside.

Atem didn’t manage to ask who before Yuugi had walked to a smaller opening at the far side of the cave, where he mumbled something before coming back to sit on the bedside. Out of the opening came another elf, white-haired and with a big scarf in a light golden colour around his neck and down the back. His shirt matched Yuugi’s but the leather had a lighter shade, and he wore a belt with a lot of pouches.

“This is Ryou; he’s the healer of our tribe.”

Ryou bowed his head a little and gave Atem a warm smile.

_ Warmer than Yuugi’s has been _, Atem thought before he could stop himself, leaving him with an intense ache inside, and Yuugi flinching.

“I heard you’re called Atem. It’s good to see you awake.”

Atem smiled carefully. “I guess I should thank you for saving my life.” He said but Ryou waved him off.

“It’s my duty so there’s no need to thank me. I'm just glad Yuugi brought you here by the time he did, a minute later and you would've been dead, I've never seen such deliberately inflicted wounds before." 

A shudder went through Atem's body, he didn't want to be reminded of his time in the dungeon, or at least of what he'd been put through there. 

A hand was suddenly on his shoulder and squeezed it, a touch so comforting until Atem realised it was Yuugi's hand. Yuugi immediately snatched his hand away and avoided looking at Atem again, like he'd not meant to touch him on purpose. Atem didn't know what hurt the most; Yuugi struggles with what the bond demanded of him in relation to his cemented wishes Atem couldn't fulfil, or how the care Yuugi showed for him wasn't genuine.

Ryou's voice brought him back from his distraction.

"I would like to make a thorough examination of you now that you’re awake, if you don’t mind.”

“Tho… thorough?” Atem stuttered. ‘Thorough’ could be any level of uneasiness, and his time spent in the dungeon had taught him too many of those levels.

Ryou chuckled, calming Atem’s nerves. “Don’t be scared, I’ll just work my magic a bit and then ask some questions, is that okay?”

Oh. Well that didn’t sound too bad, he supposed, and so he nodded.

Ryou smiled again and then let his hands hover above Atem’s body, and Atem widened his eyes at the beautiful, golden strings coming out and start flowing around him, through the pelt and into his body. The warmth it created inside of him made Atem’s whole body relax. He hadn’t realised how he’d missed being warm again. The cave might not be as cold as the dungeon, but it was cold enough for him to feel reluctant about leaving the bed.

“Your body’s healing just fine, but there is still a lot of it to be done, and my healing can’t help with the rest. You have a lot of strength to regain.“

Atem gave another nod, he had suspected as much even if he couldn’t be sure what was expected of him. 

Ryou took careful hold of Atem’s arm and examined it, slowly moving and stretching it while golden strings swirled around the limb. 

“Tell me, how much can you move on your own?”

Atem opened his mouth to reply, but his arm spoke well for itself when Ryou dropped it on the bed and Atem found he didn’t have the strength to lift it.

“I see,” Ryou said and looked amused. “I was sort of expecting that. Then I’m going to make some preparations. And,” he continued while letting his magic strings give Atem a gentle pat on his stomach, “we need to make you eat something.” 

Atem couldn’t help but making a small grimace, when was the last time he had actual food and not just whatever scraps he’d gotten from the trolls? He couldn’t remember. He could barely remember any tastes or what he used to eat before his imprisonment. 

Yuugi made a shaky inhale, and Atem couldn't understand why. 

Ryou went to a shelf and started picking among bottles and jars, gathering a few of them and started mixing the unknown ingredients in a bowl. Atem tried to catch Yuugi’s eyes, but his mate was avoiding him completely, and instead kept looking at Ryou. 

The healer came back with the bowl, with something resembling loose polenta of some kind, that smelled way better than it looked. 

“This will help you to start regaining your strength.” 

“What is it?” 

"Don't worry, it's just a porridge made of roots, herbs, and some liquidised vegetables, so nothing too foreign I hope. We have to be careful with your stomach, with how underfed you are." 

Atem was still sceptical, but the mix had quite a pleasant smell, so perhaps this wasn’t going to be so bad?

He couldn’t lift himself but Ryou helped him raise his head and upper body enough to drink the mixture, holding the bowl for him. And Atem couldn’t remember when he had a meal this good, with a taste so fresh and leaving him wishing for more. But the bowl wasn’t big and he had emptied it all too quick for his liking. Ryou didn’t seem to notice, and instead took the empty bowl to a bench, all while Atem tried to adjust to the euphoric feeling of having something actually foodlike in him. It made him feel soft and he couldn’t help but silently hum a little. 

As Ryou came back, he gave Atem another warm smile. “It seems the food did good for you, I’m glad.” 

Atem nodded, feeling very content. Ryou’s next words just made it better. 

“Now, as you’re properly awake, we can give you a bath and get rid of the dirt and these ragged clothes you wear.” 

Oh gods, having a bath now would be nothing but heavenly! Now _ that _would definitely feel like the first step towards being his normal self again. 

Ryou carefully lifted the pelt of him and the cold air made him shiver, before warmth suddenly spread throughout his body, Looking down, he realised the healer was working his magic again, letting golden strings sneak their way into Atem’s skin, warming him up while carefully cutting the ragged clothes. He closed his eyes and felt relaxation take over.

His eyes snapped open as a wave of embarrassment suddenly hit him. Atem turned his head towards Yuugi and saw his mate was deep red in the face with his eyes locked furiously at the wall, away from Atem. 

Atem turned from warm and relaxed to cold and anxious. Was Yuugi reacting like this because he was stark naked? Or was it because of the state of his body? The ugly wounds that had covered his skin had turned into bruises and pink shaded scars, and Atem didn't dare to think about how he’d looked when he got saved. 

"Yuugi, can you…?" Ryou asked without finishing the question, and Atem wanted to disappear into the pelts he was lying on, the unease from Yuugi only making it worse. Having his soulmate touch him was not supposed to give Atem, and especially not Yuugi, this kind of anxiety. The touch on his shoulder had been awkward enough, to be lifted and carried to the cleaning tub while being naked, and get washed off how many months of dirt, was almost unbearable. 

_ He doesn't want to touch me, _ Atem thought with a piercing sadness, and Yuugi's jolting reaction was all the confirmation he needed. Atem looked at Ryou and wondered why he couldn't get him to the tub, but with a quick comparison between the healer and his mate (his chest ached when using that word), it was clear Yuugi had much more strength. 

Atem's skin burned when Yuugi's hands made contact and he was lifted up in a strong grip that would never fail, but also twitched and oozed disstress. Arms that on one hand would never drop him, but also wished they didn't need to hold him. And Atem could feel how his own sadness of rejection only made Yuugi's discomfort grew further and made his blushed cheeks turn an even darker shade. 

Yuugi carefully put him in the warm, soothing water, but Atem could barely enjoy it, with how Yuugi stubbornly avoided looking into Atem's eyes or at his body. Ryou had followed and handed Yuugi a washing cloth. Yuugi looked at the fabric with hesitation

and took too long to actually grab it from Ryou. 

Atem swallowed. He didn't want this. But seeing Yuugi in turmoil was even worse. 

Then he remembered how he'd been able to shut Yuugi out during the night, how he'd managed to build walls around his emotions and thoughts until nothing could be seen or heard or felt. 

He didn't like it, he didn't like it one bit. But Yuugi shouldn't have to suffer more than he had to. At least not now. It would be better with time, right? 

As Yuugi lifted one of his arms and started to wash him, Atem built walls inside of him, hiding every emotion, and hoped this would be over soon.

* * *

Ryou looked at his best friend and his mate and tried to figure out what was wrong. Atem seemed almost scared of Yuugi yet kept searching his gaze. But Yuugi kept his eyes away while carrying a sad and distraught expression. And yet, there was such a beautiful delicacy to how Yuugi treated Atem. He held him gently with one arm while carefully washing his body bit by bit with no hesitation in his movements, almost like he knew every location of Atem's bruises, sore muscles and sensitive scars. He wasn't his impatient self but instead took his time without rushing. 

Nothing should've been wrong, so why didn’t it look right? 

_ Perhaps they just need a little more time, Atem's been through a lot from what it seems _, Ryou thought. 

Which reminded him that he really should ask more about one specific thing and he walked up to the tub.

"I hope it's okay if I ask a few more questions, Atem?"

Atem looked up with surprised eyes but he nodded. 

"Yuugi hasn't mentioned where he found you, and your body seems to have suffered greatly during a long period of time. So I was wondering what happened to you?" 

Nothing in Atem’s facial expression changed, but Yuugi stopped moving and looked at his mate, and Ryou wondered if some silent wording was made between them. Atem looked a little too empty for that, though. 

“It’s only part of the rehabilitation progress, the more we know, the better we can make sure you heal in the best way possible. You tell me as much as you’re comfortable with, no matter how much, or little, that is.” 

The silence stretched out for a long while, without anyone moving. Ryou started to think he might need to leave the question unanswered at the moment, but that’s when Atem spoke up. 

“I’d rather not go into too many details, it’s… still not something I want to think about. But-”

“You don’t have to tell me more than what you’re comfortable with, like I said,” Ryou smiled, cutting him off. “Actually, it would be just enough if you said how long your situation lasted.” 

That didn’t seem to make things easier; Atem had a frown of distress and Yuugi held his hand (though Ryou noticed he still kept his eyes away). 

“I don’t know that either,” Atem hesitated. “Time couldn’t really be measured there. The guards came when they felt like it. I tried to count at the beginning but I gave up after a while. It was more than a couple weeks, perhaps months.” 

Ryou raised his eyebrows in surprise. Guards?

“I can probably give a better answer.” 

Both Ryou and Atem jerked as Yuugi suddenly spoke up, despite his voice being low. “The elves that helped me rescue you told me there had been a few abductions of sun tribe elves this past year. And… some guards mentioned you and… said you’ve been there and survived for quite a while compared to other prisoners.” 

The silence returned and Yuugi let go of Atem’s hand, but still held the arm he’d been washing. Ryou wasn’t sure what he’d expected but hearing Yuugi’s words stunned him, what kind of cruelty was this? Atem had looked bad, he still did even when healed, but this was beyond Ryou’s comprehension. What could’ve inflicted such wounds and why? Had Atem been purposely starved? Had Yuugi been forced to save Atem from something awful? It would explain the smaller bruises and cuts Yuugi had.

Was this what Yuugi and Mai had talked about? When Yuugi had mentioned a troll capitol overrun by monstrous trolls? 

He had too many questions, and it made Ryou uncomfortable. Perhaps this was the reason why things didn’t seem entirely right between Yuugi and Atem as well. 

He’d almost forgotten why he asked in the first place, and shook his head, bringing his focus back. 

“Well, it’s clear we need to take it slow, so to not put unnecessary stress on your body. We have to build up your weakened muscles, going from improving your grip to making you walk on your own.” He paused and hummed a little, tapping his chin with a finger. “I should think of a proper diet as well but we get to that. And you will need these healing baths once a day.” 

Ryou turned to Yuugi, who was done with the arm and now carefully washed Atem’s leg while blushing, hard, but Ryou couldn’t tell why and he didn’t want to pry anymore. 

Instead, he tried a more positive route. “It may not even take long for you to regain your strength, Atem, with support from Yuugi.” 

That didn’t have the effect Ryou expected. Atem froze and Yuugi took a sharp inhale, making Ryou more than confused. Or perhaps they didn’t react to what he said. Had Yuugi accidentally hurt Atem while washing him? 

Wait no, soulmates don't accidentally hurt each other physically, at least not when they've been found. The only case he knew off was Malik and Bakura, with the former accidentally stabbing the latter in the arm, but that had been before they realised who the other was. And with the nature of their bond and what kind of elves they were, it wasn't something to make a big deal out of. Bakura's constant jokes about how Malik "scarred him for life" was something both Ryou and Malik could've gone without, though. 

But Ryou couldn't really apply Bakura and Malik's situation on Yuugi and Atem. 

Should he actually meddle this time or should he leave it be? 

“It… would be preferable… if the recovering didn’t take long, yeah…” Yuugi murmured. Ryou couldn't decide if Yuugi was uninterested, or if he just couldn't muster enough enthusiasm because of what had happened to Atem. Or if Yuugi still had a headache. 

"How's your head, Yuugi?"

Only now did Yuugi look up and meet Ryou's gaze, a slight frown on his forehead. "Unchanged." 

Atem looked between Ryou and Yuugi with worry in his eyes, and opened his mouth as if to say something, but closed it, looking away. 

Ryou decided this was enough meddling and went to one of his cupboards, where he picked out a simple tunic and pants, as well as woollen socks. He put them on a stool, and then helped Yuugi to wash Atem. 

_ I hope everything gets better, for both of you _, he thought sadly.

* * *

Two weeks went by and Yuugi didn’t feel any better. 

His headache hadn’t disappeared or gotten any easier. It wasn’t always throbbing, he noticed it got more bearable whenever he visited Ryou’s cave, so most likely, something there was helping, at least a little. Perhaps it was some of the herbs Ryou had hanging in the roof. 

But even if his headache got slightly better during the time he spent there, it was almost not worth it. His relationship with Atem didn’t improve, at all. In many ways, it only got worse. At least on Yuugi’s part. 

Although Ryou didn’t ask anything, it was clear he expected Yuugi to be there to help Atem the most, through his daily exercises as well as healing baths. But the healer definitely saw something was amiss, and Yuugi didn’t like it. It only fueled the guilt that was constantly constraining his chest and making his heartache. 

Ryou wasn’t the only one who unintentionally made things harder for him, though. 

After a few days, when Ryou had given permission for visitors to come as long as if it wasn’t in big groups, Anzu had stopped by, being the first. She had joined during mealtime and as they were eating, she and had Atem talked about smaller subjects like leatherworking. It turned out Atem had interest in jewelry, and when Anzu realised that, they had both engaged in an enthusiastic discussion about the creative processes for different kinds of ornaments. It shouldn’t have been anything out of order, but Yuugi had felt incredibly jealous over it. He hated how the bond between him and Atem was urging him to do the same as Anzu did, and yet he couldn’t. Yuugi wasn’t sure if Atem’s smile towards Anzu had become more strained when, or if, he’d felt Yuugi’s struggle. 

The rest of the tribe came in much shorter visits, mostly to present themselves and welcome Atem to the tribe. Mai had made him nervous with her authoritative nature, and Raphael’s immense stature hadn’t helped, but Mai’s cheerful nature had shown, and he’d been calmer when they’d left. She hadn’t brought up the trolls, which Yuugi appreciated. He hadn’t appreciated as much how Seto and Kisara’s triplets had found Atem exciting, though. They’d played a game of hundred questions, with the youngsters asking Atem one thing after the other about his birth tribe and culture and favourite colours (it turned out to be purple). 

It had stung, because again, it was something Yuugi should’ve done himself. 

Natsuki had been annoyingly kind and had quickly joined Ryou in the work of setting up a diet for Atem, cooking good and warm meals for him that made him almost teary-eyed. Yuugi couldn’t help but wonder if the fact that it was _ his _mother fussing over him made Atem more emotional, and that bothered him.

Jounouchi and Honda had been even worse than Anzu and the other tribe members. They happened to visit just a short time before Atem’s physical exercises, and when they’d heard what Atem had to do to become better, they immediately took it upon themselves to help. Atem had been seemingly reluctant, but the positive and energetic attitude from Jonouchi and Honda was contagious. And Ryou couldn’t throw them out when they were in the middle of all cheerfulness, and were still careful and patient with Atem. Before anyone knew it, Jounouchi and Honda started to visit every day to lend their hands with the exercising. Atem always had to work hard, and he always collapsed after every session, but none of them pushed him beyond what he could manage. Slowly, they helped him get back the grip in his hands, to sit upright, regaining strength in his arms, and, most importantly, helping him walk again. And during those two weeks, there had been remarkable improvements. 

Atem was still weak and didn’t have much energy, but he could hold things without issue, he could stand up without support and he could walk short distances on his own, just slowly. Jounouchi and Honda were constantly encouraging him, and Ryou was always ready to help his body relax afterwards.

All while Yuugi stood to the side, merely observing, feeling awful for not engaging. Atem was _ his _ mate after all. _ He _was the one who should be doing all of this. But his whole body screamed in protest as soon as he tried, it didn’t matter how much his heart screamed back that he should. 

The healing baths were the only thing Yuugi helped with, but nothing had changed since he gave Atem his first. He was still surprised with how incredibly deliberate he was while washing him and how it came so naturally, while everything else made his body scream enough to make him freeze. It didn’t, however, mean that he liked it, or that he was comfortable with it. And that was still not how it was supposed to be. 

It was almost too much, having to deal with the lingering disappointment and hopelessness as well as the deep affection he couldn’t get rid off. His guilt had too many sides and he wasn’t proud of any of them, but knowing Atem felt all of it almost made him nauseous. 

The last drop came one evening when Yuugi, after another bath, had put Atem in bed and then just observed his mate to try and somewhat sort out his conflictions. All of a sudden, a cold wave of melancholy washed over him, making him freeze and his heart wrench. It lasted only for a moment, in the seconds where Atem fell asleep and slumber shut his mind off, but Yuugi was still left breathless.

He should’ve expected what Atem’s feelings were and how deep they went, he really should have. But he hadn’t, and now, it was too much. With teary eyes, he left the healer’s cave, knowing he wouldn’t be able to return the next day. 

* * *

“He doesn’t like me.” 

Atem had his head laid back in the cleaning tub and stared up at the ceiling. He wasn’t looking at Ryou, who was carefully cleaning Atem’s body after another round of exercising, leaving Atem practically boneless. 

Pausing for a second, Ryou turned to look at Atem’s dejected face. “Why would you think that?” 

“Every time he’s here I can feel his resentment about us as clear as it was my own. He doesn’t make any attempts to get to know me or make me get to know him. When he actually talks to me, it’s short and without joy. He won’t touch me unless he has to. And now, he hasn’t been here for four days.” 

Ryou wasn’t sure what to say about it. It was true Yuugi hadn’t shown much enthusiasm whenever he had been there, and Ryou had found it worrying that he was now the one to have to help Atem with the baths since Yuugi hadn’t come even when called for. Once again, as he’d done many times since then, Ryou tried to puzzle Yuugi’s behaviour together with the frantic state he’d been in the night Atem was healed, to no avail. 

“I don’t mean to doubt you,” he said carefully, “but I’m sure Yuugi cares about you more than anything. I’ve never seen him so frightened as he was when we healed you.” 

“He cares because he must and because our bond tells him to, he doesn’t care because he wants to. It doesn’t mean he likes me. Everyone else has cared much more genuinely than he has,” Atem sighed sadly, rolled his head forward and closed his eyes with a deep frown. “And he doesn’t let me in, either. He doesn’t let me be there for him.” 

Now that sounded more like Yuugi, not letting anyone close enough to help him if there was even the slightest possibility that he could do it himself. 

“Sometimes it’s better to leave people alone and let them think things through. Yuugi has a tendency to overthink but he’ll come around once he’s sorted everything out. Just give him time.” Ryou tried as he finished cleaning, and got up from the chair to get some cloth for Atem to dry in. 

“I…” he heard behind and turned only to see Atem looking even more disheartened while hugging his legs. Atem took a deep breath before he continued. “I waited for him in the dungeon while being tormented and abused. I was in pain every day and every night before and after I got my message, and at the end, I could only endure it because I knew the pain would go away.” 

He looked up at Ryou and Ryou could feel his heart twist from the saddened and anxious red eyes. 

“But I’m still in pain, and this is even worse since he’s hurting as well, I’ve felt how deep it goes. I could take the torment from the trolls because it was only me, and I could feel comfort in knowing I would be saved. I can’t handle my soulmate struggle like this and not be able to get him out of it.” 

Ryou got to the cloth from the cupboard and went back to the cleaning tub, helping Atem out of it to dry him off. 

“I’ve accepted our bond,” Atem said in almost a whisper, as Ryou wrapped the cloth around him. “I did it the second I saw him, and it hurts that he still hasn’t.” 

Ryou sighed helplessly. “I often wished I could heal that kind of pain just as I can heal physical injuries, neither you nor Yuugi should have to suffer like this.” 

Atem looked into Ryou’s eyes, and Ryou couldn’t decide if the man had tears in his or not. 

“I would gladly suffer if it meant Yuugi didn’t.” 

Ryou couldn’t help but stare at him as Atem turned away and tried to finish drying himself as quickly as possible. He knew soulmates were self-sacrificing and unselfish for the other, but he had never seen anything like this. Atem had delivered such a cliché line without even blinking. 

Ryou made a small frown. He wasn’t capable of healing this kind of pain, but that didn’t mean there was nothing he could do. So when Atem had returned to the bed to sleep, Ryou left the cavern and headed for the seamstress’ cave. 

* * *

“Yuugi, can I have a word with you?”

Yuugi lifted his gaze from the shirt he was busy with, eyes suddenly filled with concern. “How’s Atem?” 

Ryou frowned a little, as he remembered Atem’s words; ‘he cares because he must’. He wanted to believe Yuugi’s compassion was more genuine than just that. “Don’t worry, he’s sleeping, and Shizuka is practising in the study, so she’s there in case he needs anything.” 

Yuugi let out a breath and his shoulders lowered. 

“But I did actually want to talk about him.” Ryou continued. Yuugi raised an eyebrow in confusion but nodded to his side, welcoming Ryou to sit down. 

Ryou didn’t say anything for a while, just watching Yuugi work. Finding the right words wasn’t easy and he didn’t know where to start. 

“How are you?” Ryou finally asked, settling for a careful approach. 

Yuugi didn’t answer him at first, but then made a small shrug with an expressionless face. “I’m fine.” 

He didn’t say anything more, it seemed like he needed to be focused on the shirt but with a closer look, it was clear he did the task without any self-awareness. 

_ You lie _ , Ryou thought. _ You’ve never been this evasive before _. 

“How’s your headache?” He continued, prodding a little more. 

Yuugi made a grimace but didn’t reply. 

"So it's still there?" 

"If it goes away, you'll be the first to know, unless you learn how to heal it." 

He sounded way too disparaging now and Ryou sighed. This was getting nowhere. 

“You know, I’ve been meaning to ask this for two weeks now but, how come you aren’t happy about finally having a soulmate?” 

Yuugi made a hissed curse as the needle he held pricked his finger, making it bleed. 

“Do you want me to heal that?” Ryou smiled. Yuugi shook his head and just put the finger in his mouth. 

“I said I’m fine.” He murmured, brows knitted. 

“So it would seem,” Ryou replied. 

“It’s just a small stick; it’s nothing to worry about.” 

“I’m not talking about your finger, I’m talking about Atem.” 

“That’s nothing to worry about either.” 

“Yuugi, I can see you’re _ both _suffering right now, and that’s not part of being a soulmate.”

Yuugi froze and Ryou took it as a cue to continue. “You two, and especially you, have been acting weirdly ever since he woke up. I haven’t seen you two exchange more than a few words between each other. He seeks your gaze constantly while you seem to avoid it. You’ve been deprecatory every time you’ve been there, and now, it’s been four days since you visited him last time.” 

He got no reply from Yuugi, who simply turned his head away, making a face again. Unsure if he should wait for his friend to speak or not, he took Yuugi’s hand with the pricked finger, only hesitating for a second to see if Yuugi would protest, and when that wasn’t the case, he let the golden threads circulate around the small injury. 

“Yuugi, I can see your heart is struggling. Will you confide in me?” 

He still didn’t get a reply, nor did Yuugi turn his head, and Ryou started to feel like this was a hopeless mission. Perhaps he shouldn’t meddle after all. 

“Can I ask you something, Ryou?” 

Yuugi’s voice was almost like a whisper, but Ryou was thankful to hear anything at all from his friend at the moment. 

“Of course you can, Yuugi.” 

“Did you ever think that I shouldn’t have a backup plan in case my mate would turn out to be a man?”

Out of all the questions he could’ve gotten, that wasn’t one he’d expected. “Why would you ask that?” 

Yuugi shrugged. “I’m trying to figure out if I actually could’ve been prepared beforehand. I’m not trying to blame you, or anyone else, you all did remind me of not betting too much on my backup, I just...” 

Ryou put Yuugi’s now healed hand in his own and held it. “I’m not sure if you could’ve been more prepared despite anyone’s meddling, but… I did, indeed, think that, and I wanted to ask you about it plenty of times, I just… never did.” 

Yuugi blinked but his expression didn’t change. “It wasn’t even a ‘what if?’ in my head, never once did the thought occurred to me. My first reaction when I found him shouldn’t have been ‘this isn’t the person I’m supposed to find’.

He finally looked up and met Ryou’s gaze, eyes on the brink of crying. 

“It really _ is _rooted deep inside me, isn’t it?” 

Ryou nodded and blinked slowly. “It would seem that way, or else you wouldn’t feel like this.” 

A single tear rolled down Yuugi’s cheek and he nodded as well. Atem’s words came back to Ryou’s mind and he decided to be bold. 

“Do you love him?”

It was much stronger than just ‘like’ but Ryou wasn’t gonna settle for weak, in case it didn’t generate enough thinking in Yuugi’s head. 

Yuugi tensed up, eyes widening, but then shook his head, “I... honestly don’t know. I care deeply for him and the thought of him getting hurt pains me, my whole body gets into a protective mode, where I get insanely angry if something is threatening him. I can’t live without him, almost like he would be the air I’m breathing. He’s the sun in the sky, giving warmth and light I’ve never felt before. But I keep shutting him off unconsciously with thick curtains and I can barely touch him or talk with him. All because of childish dreams that’ll never come true.” 

_ Oh, why can’t you two work this out? You really are made for each other _, Ryou thought with a heavy heart. Yuugi poetic words matched Atem’s clichéed lines so perfectly, it was clear as day that their bond was a beautiful one. Or at least should be. 

Yuugi was crying now, so Ryou moved closer and wrapped his arms around him, tried in vain to come up with something comforting to say but he knew Yuugi, and knew him all too well. There was only one thing that could help him at the moment. 

“Perhaps some time alone would help you clear up your thoughts? Just fly away somewhere private with Gandora and do some thinking in a fresh environment that isn’t our village.” 

Yuugi didn’t say anything for a long while, but as his tears started to slow down, he nodded, slowly. “I should do that.”

* * *

So, here he was again. Leaning against Gandora in their cave, in their secret place, deep in thoughts while the stars shone brightly outside. He’d never actually pondered about his struggles during the times when he had been alone in the village, weirdly enough. Or perhaps it wasn’t all that surprising since he tended to just push everything that had to do with Atem to the side, something to deal with… not right now. 

But he really didn’t have a choice _ now _, did he? 

Yuugi knew this didn’t work, he’d done so from the very beginning. He knew to the core how unfair it was towards Atem. It wasn’t his fault destiny had decided for them to be together. It wasn’t his fault he couldn’t bear children. And it wasn’t his fault Yuugi was struggling as he did.

He buried his head in his hands. Wasn’t he kinder than this? Wasn’t he more unselfish than this? Was the idea of raising a family so damn important he’d lost himself and gotten blind to everything else? The biggest issue was still just the same; Yuugi wanted a purpose and a role to fill. But before Atem entered his life, his desires and longings had still only been affecting himself, it had never been a problem for anyone else close to him. Now those same desires were not about him anymore. 

“I’m such a jerk,” he muttered, for once disappointed in himself rather than his bond with Atem. Gandora huffed in disagreement, but Yuugi just glared at her. “Shut up, I really am, I haven’t treated Atem well at all these weeks while he’s been recovering, and that’s not right.” 

She huffed once more and turned her head to glare back at him. 

‘Stupid.’

Yuugi groaned into his hands. “By the Divine Dragons, that’s what I said. And you know what? I’m tired of being stupid!”

Gandora tilted her head, looking at him curiously. 

“I have no idea what the hell I can do to get out of this, but if I don’t do _ anything _ , we’ll be stuck in this state forever. And we’ll never complete our bond, either, unless we… well, do everything… with each other.” He had to stop himself, it was starting to get awkward in his head and he didn’t want to think about… _ it _.

The dragon clicked her tongue, and Yuugi looked up at her. 

‘Slow?’ 

Yuugi frowned his eyebrows in confusion, and she sent an image of Atem. Slow as Atem?

Then it hit Yuugi what she meant. And it was actually a good idea or at least one he was willing to take. 

He smiled appreciatively at her. “Thank you, Ganny, I think that will work.” 

If Atem’s healing had to be done slowly and in smaller steps, then why couldn’t Yuugi do the same with his mental barriers? He would still need to pressure himself, of course, and especially for the first step, and he absolutely had to stop guilt-tripping himself, which he knew would probably be the hardest part. But he would rather focus on actually advancing at all. 

Still annoyed with himself but also resolute and less discontented, he relaxed his body against Ganny, who observed her master for a moment before laying down her head to rest as well, seemingly pleased enough with Yuugi’s state. 

“We’ll begin again tomorrow,” Yuugi whispered to no one. 

As he fell asleep, his headache eased up remarkably. 


	9. Soaring development

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the late update, my week has been incredibly stressful and tiresome for too many reasons. I thought about updating two chapters tonight to compensate but I'm way too tired, I can barely post this chap. I'll try my best during the weekend instead. Thank you all for your lovely comments and all the kudos, you make my day ;A;

**** The early afternoon sun finally came out from behind the clouds and shone over the village when Yuugi returned, lighter in mind and heart. He jumped off Gandora and sent her off to her nest before going over to Ryou’s cave, ready to talk with Atem. Not only to get the first steps in motion, but the morning had brought an idea to his mind he actually felt comfortable enough to go through with, even if _ one _part of it was terrifying. And it might not change everything for them but it would help them begin walking down their destined path together at an appropriate pace.

_ At least for me, Atem has been walking alone for far too long now_, Yuugi thought, a hard ping of shame in his chest, as he walked into the healer’s cave. 

He was met by an empty room, bed made and no sign of anyone around. Yuugi felt a small wave of panic before Ryou came out from his study room.

“Where’s Atem?” He asked and tried to regain his rationality and get rid of the fear; nothing could hurt Atem here, but if it did, he wouldn’t have been there to protect him.

Ryou gave him a softening smile.

“Don’t worry, Yuugi, I thought he needed some fresh air so I told Anzu to take him with her to show him around the village, where he can walk around enough to be outside for a while.”

Yuugi nodded gratefully and hurried out. The village wasn’t immensely big so finding them wouldn’t take long.

He had barely gone full circle around the huts when he saw his friend and his mate standing on the village square talking. He stopped and just looked at them for a while. It felt weird seeing his crush and his mate interact alone, to put some perspective on how vastly different his feelings for them both were. 

Anzu had been the elf of his dreams, the one he easily could see himself living together with for the rest of life and didn’t want to look away from, the one who could make him smile just as easily as she set his body on fire. He’d had fantasies of them working together during the day, cuddling together on a cliff in the evening sun, and making love under the moon. He thought being a soulmate was just like that but with an unbreakable bond added.

How naïve he had been. 

Anzu said something and Atem smiled. Instead of jealousy, Yuugi felt like his heart had been swept into cotton, seeing how soft it was. To know it was his fault Atem hadn’t smiled much like that hurt. 

No more. 

Yuugi walked up to them, Anzu noticing him first. When Atem saw it was him, he froze and Yuugi could feel a quick wave of panic before it got repressed behind thick walls, as usual. But this time, Yuugi didn’t let it feed his conscience.

“So you dared to take my mate away,” he joked as he turned to face Anzu, trying his best to ignore the subtle inhale Atem did, “should I be worried?”

Anzu glared humorously at him. “I’m hurt Yuugi, it seems you don’t trust me. And here I thought we were friends.”

Yuugi smiled before he turned to Atem.

“Did she take good care of you?” He asked, his voice surprisingly soft.

“Yes, she’s been great,” Atem answered carefully, shooting an appreciative smile towards Anzu. “And it was nice to see something else than stone walls and breathe some fresh air.”

He suddenly made an involuntary shudder.

_ Oh darn, why didn’t anyone think of this? _ Yuugi thought and took off his jacket. He wrapped it around Atem’s shoulders as the latter mumbled. “It’s a bit colder than I’m used to, though.”

The moment paused as both Atem and Yuugi realised what had just happened. With barely any interaction between them for days, it was clear both of them had actually forgotten just exactly how deeply they could read each other. Atem’s shuddering had not been visible to the eye.

Atem put on the jacket and opened up his walls a little, sending grateful colours Yuugi’s way. Was Yuugi imagining things or was Atem actually blushing?

The sound of a clearing throat pulled them back to reality. Anzu had an almost bashful look on her face like she’s been witnessing something she shouldn’t.

“Well, I have leather to work on so I’m handing him back to you now Yuugi.” She said before she walked past them towards her workshop hut.

“Thank you for the tour and company, Anzu.” Atem managed to say before she’d gone too far to hear. She turned and waved before continuing walking.

Yuugi glanced at his mate. There had been a lot of change these days since the last time he’d visited. Seeing Atem actually moving, on his own and with so much strength back, was bizarre but relieving. 

Atem suddenly glanced back, making Yuugi quickly turn his head away. He mentally punched himself, hating how he’d done it on impulse and hadn’t been able to control it. 

_ I said no more_, he thought, recovering as fast as he could, and cleared his throat, ready to make things right. He turned his head back again, facing Atem. 

“I’m… I’m sorry for not visiting you, these past days I mean.”

Apparently, Atem hadn’t expected that with the way his eyebrows raised and his mouth opened a little, but Yuugi wasn’t done. “I want to start over, properly this time, and take it from the beginning.” 

Something bright flashed in Atem’s eyes and Yuugi didn’t want to think it was hope; he wasn’t strong enough to be responsible for such a fragile thing just yet. He didn’t get an answer, though, except a small nod. 

Right. So, how did one start from the beginning, then?

It took a while but eventually, Yuugi settled for something harmless, while still making him stutter a little. “So, uh, how are you... feeling?”

Atem hesitated briefly, but his voice was calm when he replied. “I’m a bit tired but it feels good to be able to use my body more normally again.”

He tried to move his arms a little but the jacket Yuugi had lent him was slightly too small over the shoulders and arms, just enough to limit his movements. Yuugi chuckled.

“I’ll get you your own jacket that fits you better than mine does.”

“It’s okay. After all, it’s yours.”

Yuugi froze in surprise. That was the first time Atem had made an affectionate comment, even if it was just a slip. He could literally see how Atem’s colours turned from thankful and content to erratic and embarrassed before the walls were rebuilt again. Yuugi’s conviction grew even stronger. 

It didn’t stop him from still being nervous though.

He cleared his throat, again. ”I was actually… thinking about something.”

Atem, while looking emotionless, tilted his head curiously, which Yuugi took as a cue to continue.

“You’ve met a lot of people who are important to me, and you’ve been getting a somewhat decent insight into our culture. But you haven’t met the most important part of my life.”

Atem’s walls were still solid but a subtle frown of confusion drifted over his face. Yuugi’s words seemed to turn into a sledgehammer and cause a critical hit, though; Atem’s eyes widened and colours of nervousness came swirling chaotically.

“You’re talking about the dragons.” He whispered. 

Yuugi nodded. “You’ve technically already met Gandora, my dragon, but you were unconscious back them, so it doesn’t really count.”

Atem looked up towards the dragon nests, where a few dragons could be spotted resting on the cliffs, or playing high up in the air, and he swallowed.

“How… big are they?”

Yuugi frowned, he wasn’t sure what kind of animals Atem was used to, trying to compare a dragon with a mountain moose wouldn’t really tell him anything. He looked around, trying to find something else to compare it with. 

“Well, uhm… if they curl into a ball, they can be as big as the huts, I think?”

Atem didn’t take his eyes from the nests, he only made a small nod. Yuugi wasn’t sure if he should ensure Atem that the dragons recognised all tribe members as something to protect and were only dangerous to outsiders who showed hostility. Until their bond was completely secured, the dragons would be wary, and Atem didn’t need to hear that, not now. 

“Gandora is the only dragon you need to get to know, really, so you don’t have to worry about the others.” He said instead. 

Atem lowered his head, eyes closed and brows knitted, making a slow inhale. 

“I’m not going to lie, they terrify me, it’s like the tales from my childhood came to life”, he said before opening his eyes and glanced at Yuugi, looking almost as vulnerable as he did when he’d been unable to leave the bed. “But I can see how important they are for all of you, I can see how important _ your _dragon is to you, so my fears don’t matter here. Besides,” he continued as his lips curved and his tone got slightly more humorous, “if your dragon didn’t bit my arm off when it had a chance, it probably won’t do it now.” 

Yuugi could only smile back. “She doesn’t bite unless I tell her to.” 

Atem nodded and looked up towards the nests again. “Good to know.” He whispered, most likely for himself. 

“Then let’s go.” Yuugi smiled and took hold off Atem’s hand as they started going up the mountain road to the nest, not missing the sharp inhale behind him. 

* * *

Atem had a hard time keeping up with the turn of events. Just this morning he’d woken with the same aching inside as he had done for weeks, and now, he was holding hands with Yuugi, who he hadn’t seen for days and suddenly wasn’t acting out of duty but was actually genuinely… kind? He couldn’t wrap his head around it, and he didn’t dare to hope for anything. 

So he was almost glad the dragons were terrifying enough to steal his focus away. As Yuugi led him up the mountainside to the dragon nests, Atem kept a careful eye on the sky where a few were flying around and about, he couldn’t tell if they were fighting or playing, as well as the nests they walked by. Some dragons were resting in their nests and caves and their intimidating gazes following them as they continued upwards. Atem couldn’t help but squeeze Yuugi’s hand a little harder. 

They stopped at a cliff with a shallow cave, where Atem could see something dark with what seemed to be red jewel stones in a line. Yuugi made a weird growl from deep down in his throat and suddenly, the darkness moved, scratching the stone walls as the dragon uncurled its body and exited the cave. 

Atem’s heart nearly stopped. Before them was a dragon with dark skin, red shining stones on either side of the body, arms bigger than he was and wings large enough to make him question how the dragon could fit in the small cave at all. The dragon opened its mouth and growled back at Yuugi, eyes gleaming in the same red colours as the stones and carefully moved until its forehead was pressed against Yuugi’s. Yuugi lifted his hands and affectionately caressed the dragon’s cheeks, whispering a soft “so you went to sleep as soon as we got back, huh”. Then the dragon glanced at Atem and his whole being screamed at him to run, but he was frozen on the spot. 

“Atem, this is Gandora, my dragon and best friend,” Yuugi said as he turned to look at Atem as well, still caressing Gandora’s cheeks. Atem swallowed. 

“It… She’s… quite big,” he managed to say, voice more high-pitched than he wanted. 

Yuugi seemed to hesitate, biting his lower lip. “She’s actually the smallest dragon in our tribe, the others are much bigger, especially Seto’s, Blue.” 

Atem could feel his stomach drop. He didn’t feel a need to meet the other dragons in the near future. 

Yuugi let go of Gandora and came to stand behind him, putting his hands on Atem’s shoulders. The touch made Atem’s heart speed up a little, replacing the nervousness about the dragon with nervousness about destroying the moment. 

“Now”, Yuugi said, voice a bit too close to Atem’s ear, “you technically don’t have to follow protocol with Ganny since she’s already accepted you, but I’m gonna teach you how to approach a dragon you’ve never met.” 

That wasn’t really a scenario Atem wanted to imagine right now. And Gandora still looked terrifying enough to make Yuugi’s claim about her ‘accepting him’ feel exaggerated. 

“Now, the first rule when interacting with dragons; _ never _make the first move, let them come to you.” 

“How do I do that?”

“Show them you mean no harm by lowering your head and keep your eyes on their feet. That way, you show them respect for their boundaries, and if the dragon turns out to be aggressive, it gives you a chance to escape by reading their movements.” 

Atem’s nerves didn’t calm down hearing that, and he felt anything but comfortable, especially not when Yuugi took away his hands from his shoulders and stood silently. Then he realised Yuugi was waiting for him to follow the instructions given, so he did and lowered his head, keeping an eye on Gandora’s feet and the horrifying claws. 

“What… do I do now?”

“If the dragon doesn’t move for a couple of seconds, raise your arm and hold it out in front of you, palm facing the dragon.” 

It definitely sounded like the perfect way to get his arm bitten off, but Atem didn’t want to disappoint. Reluctantly, he waited a few seconds, almost half a minute, before slowly raising his arm. 

There was a beastly snort and suddenly, Gandora’s feet moved towards him. Atem shut his eyes closed instinctively and tensed his whole body. 

Then he felt something press carefully against his palm. He opened one of his eyes, head still lowered and had to stop himself from jerking away from the sight of dragon feet being so close to him. 

Yuugi’s breath was suddenly at his ear again. 

“If a dragon let itself be petted like this, you’ve received their approval, and while they will be wary of you until they know you better, they’re not gonna be hostile towards you.” Yuugi’s low voice sent a slight shiver down Atem’s spine and he hoped it wouldn’t seep out through his walls. “Don’t fail their trust and you’ll have a powerful ally, either for some time or for life.” 

“Can I… Can I raise my head?” Atem asked. 

“Yes.” 

Slowly, he lifted his head and gazed into the giant red eyes in front of him. Up close, they were not as terrifying as they’d seemed like, weirdly enough. They looked less beastlike and more docile. Like there was something more than just animalistic instincts behind them. 

“Ganny knows how important you are, so you don’t have to gain her trust. She trusts you because I do.” 

Hearing that made Atem’s heart flutter; despite him not understanding how and why, it had been clear that things between them weren’t as tense as before, but to actually hear it was something else entirely. 

Atem let his hand stroke the skin and moved to rub the cheeks just like Yuugi had earlier. Gandora closed her eyes and made a deep vibrating growl. Atem jerked his hand away but she followed with her head like she was urging him to continue. 

“I better warn you; she loves being stroked on her cheeks, and she might not let you stop.” Yuugi laughed.

“So, that was a… happy sound?”

“It’s the dragon version of a purr, so yes.”

Gandora started growling again, but now, Atem could hear how pleased it sounded. His anxious heart finally started to relax and he could take a proper look at her.

“She’s so beautiful.” He smiled. Gandora made a happy snort and Yuugi chuckled.

“Careful, she has quite an ego; it’ll go to her head.”

The sudden playful atmosphere brought joy back to Atem’s heart and he smirked.

“Oh, so master Yuugi doesn’t compliment you as much as he should?” He said to Gandora, surprising himself, and moved up on the side of her head so he could pet the top of it. “That doesn’t sound fair, does it?”

She glanced at Atem and he could almost see a smile before she turned to her master and blew out air from her nose strong enough to make Yuugi fall on his butt. Atem didn’t mean to, but he laughed and put his arm over Gandora’s neck and she made a satisfied grunt, all while Yuugi looked at both of them with his eyebrows in a frown and disbelief radiating from him.

Atem smiled and throw a glance at Gandora before turning his head back to Yuugi, his heart swelling a little. It might take a while for Yuugi to come to terms with it all, but if their bond would end up in something like this, Atem knew his new life would be wonderful, despite the horrifying dragons. 

* * *

Yuugi couldn’t believe this had happened. The two most important people in his entire world were teaming up _ against _ him. Granted, Gandora loved to play tricks on him from time to time but he could never have guessed that Atem would be on her side.

“You… you _ both _dare to conspire against me?” He snarled and got up on his feet.

Gandora and Atem both smiled mischievously at him.

“Oh, I didn’t do anything,” Atem said with faked innocence. “Gandora, did you do anything?”

She turned her head away from both of them, and it was hard to miss the innocent act she put up as well. Yuugi groaned.

“Okay, second rule: you two are _ not _ allowed to have fun together at my expense.”

Atem gave him a teasing smile.

“I’m sorry Yuugi, but you said specifically to ‘let the dragon make the first move’, and that’s what I’m doing.”

That was a pretty unfair way of using his words against him, but Yuugi couldn’t stay mad any longer and laughed in defeat. “Fine, I can’t argue with that.”

Atem smiled before going back to stroke Gandora on the head. She closed her eyes and growled in content.

And Yuugi couldn’t stop looking at them. They interacted more naturally than he thought they would, or even hoped for. 

He got so distracted he almost forgot why they’d come here in the first place. He cleared his throat and immediately got Atem’s attention. 

“So, uhm, I was thinking, maybe we could fly for a bit?” 

Atem stop stroking Gandora, and she seemingly wasn’t pleased with that but she didn’t try and urge him to continue either. Yuugi couldn’t decide what kind of reaction his idea had caused with his mate, but he was definitely tense. 

“You don’t have to be scared. I know it’s easy for me to say, I grew up riding dragons all the time, but you have nothing to fear.” Yuugi tried. 

“I… just…” Atem struggled before continuing. “There were no mountains where I come from; I have never been more than a few metres off the ground. At least not when I’ve been conscious,” he added meeting Yuugi’s gaze. “Flying… just seems terrifying to me. No offence, Gandora.” He quickly added to the dragon but Yuugi knew she understood.

Atem took a deep breath.

“But on the other hand, this is going to be my life from now on, so… I just have to get used to it.”

Yuugi hadn’t really expected Atem to be overjoyed with the idea, and a brief moment of surprise went through him hearing Atem was set on moving in with _ him _rather than the other way around, but he dropped it.

“The reason that I’m asking is that… there’s a place I would like to take you to.” He said carefully instead and waited for Atem’s reaction.

That seemed to scare him more than the idea of flying. Or at least it had a bigger impact.

“What kind of place?” He whispered, not looking at Yuugi.

“I’ll tell you when we get there, but it is a place very important to me. And,” he started and noticed how Atem held his breath, “I have never shared it with anyone.”

Atem froze, before finally turning his head and met Yuugi’s eyes. He made a careful nod, and Yuugi managed to feel a shiver of hope from him before Atem pushed it away. Yuugi couldn’t guess what Atem might be hoping for but he didn’t want to pry; if Atem felt uncomfortable about it, then all he could do was make him feel better.

Gandora was the one to bring them both back to reality with an impatient huff.

“I’m sorry, Ganny, we will leave now,” Yuugi said with an apologetic smile, as he took out the saddle from the crate in Gandora’s cave and put it on.

“I don’t always use a saddle, but I’m not letting you fly without one. It’s not the most ideal to share a saddle like this, but it’ll have to do at the moment.” He said, giving Atem a quick glance while tightening the straps. “But don’t worry, Gandora is more than big and strong enough to carry both of us.”

He jumped on and reached out his hand towards Atem. He was still looking sceptical but he took Yuugi’s hand and let himself be pulled up on Gandora’s back. 

“You have to hold on tight, so just put your arms around me.” He said, knowing fully well how Atem would react. 

* * *

Atem did his best to still keep his walls up and not allow the inner meltdown to be shown at Yuugi’s words. He didn’t like how every touch between them affected him like this, it felt disrespectful towards Yuugi’s boundaries and like a selfish act of trying to change the pace of the development of their bond. 

Plus, it was, and always had been, embarrassing to be the one who felt the most. 

He still did what he was told, and so, Atem put his arms around Yuugi, holding him firmly, and tried his best to not sit too close as well as to calm his heart, and not only because of the sudden intimacy. Flying had not been on his list of things he’d wanted to do in life, and to suddenly be thrown into a world where it was expected of him was horrifying. But who knew if he’d been able to handle it any easier if his and Yuugi’s bond had been natural from the very start instead of whatever this was. 

Yuugi took a gentle hold of his arms, and Atem forgot to breathe for a second. 

Then, Gandora started to flap her wings, getting them higher up in the air with every movement. Atem’s heart sped up more and his already troubled breathing got even worse. His toes were tingling in a not so pleasant way. 

He was not prepared when Gandora suddenly bolted up and forward, drawing out every little bit of air in his chest. He hugged Yuugi hard, suddenly not caring about how embarrassing it was, and closed his eyes shut. The wind whooshed past his ears, blew aggressively through his hair, and was cold enough to make his borrowed jacket utterly useless. Although he couldn’t see it, didn’t dare to see it, he felt them getting higher and higher up in the air, his fear growing into full-blown panic. Was he gliding off the saddle? He was suddenly so light-headed, would he faint? Did he have a strong enough grip around Yuugi? 

His heart was beating hard and fast; he was going to fall off, he would lose his grip and neither Yuugi or Gandora would reach him in time before he would crash to the ground. 

This was the worst thing he’d been through in his entire life that wasn’t related to trolls. 

Memories of his time in the dungeon added another layer of anxiety within him. He still didn’t want to think about it, he wanted to forget everything about it. 

_ I take this before the trolls any day_, Atem thought grimly, _ but it doesn’t mean I have to like it_. 

A sting of shame pierced his heart. His thoughts were all too reminiscent to Yuugi’s when he’d woken up and rejected him and their bond, but this was a part of Yuugi, this was the very core of his culture and what had formed him as a person. Who was he, then, to _ not _give this a chance? What were his fears about the dragons compared to Yuugi’s feelings over their bond?

The fact that his barriers were still intact was nothing but a miracle, or else he’d really have had something to be embarrassed and anxious about. 

Atem knew he had to get used to it, that he didn’t have a choice in the matter. But he didn’t care about having a choice or not; he would do it for Yuugi, regardless of what Yuugi felt for him. 

Before he could stop himself, he hugged Yuugi even tighter. Wary, he tried to feel if Yuugi was uncomfortable with it and if he was treading any boundaries, but Yuugi’s hand holding his arm only gave him a comforting squeeze, and Atem’s heart skipped a beat. 

“Open your eyes!” Yuugi suddenly shouted in the wind. 

Open… what? No, he couldn’t. If he was to see how high up they were, he would definitely lose his grip. 

He would die. He didn’t want to die!

Yuugi’s hand squeezed him a bit more. “I got you, you’re safe.” 

Those… words… 

Atem had heard them before. Yuugi had said them before. Back when he was being saved and had gotten out of the dungeon. 

He exhaled, the panic easing up. He was safe. 

Slowly, oh so slowly, he opened his eyes. He didn’t see much first, the strong wind making it hard for his eyes to focus, but as he opened them, he was at a loss of breath, thoughts, and words. 

Beneath them, the mountains to the north met the plains to the south, their colours blending together softly. Small rivers created threads of blue through the landscapes, with groves of trees and the forests looking like soft carpets. The sky had a different shade of blue while still maintaining its vibrancy, giving Atem a feeling of weightlessness, despite sitting on a dragon and holding his mate. 

It was beautiful. 

Atem was so enchanted by the view he forgot they were dangerously high up in the air, and never realised how Yuugi had started to descend a bit and take them closer to the mountains.

Yuugi brought them down on a huge cliff with a forest beside it, as well as what seemed like a cave in the mountainside. When they’d landed, Yuugi jumped off and reached up to help Atem down. Being on the ground was a huge relief and Atem felt almost sick from the experience of flying. He definitely couldn’t say he was looking forward to the flight home to the village. 

Home. 

The word brought both pain and peace to his mind. 

Yuugi took his hand and guided him to the edge. Atem got nervous, knowing how high up in the air they were, but he followed and when Yuugi stopped and turned his head, Atem did the same. 

And the view he saw wasn’t like anything Atem had ever seen before. From the cliff, he could see the plains and fields stretching out before them, with the forest and the river far away. The mountain continued to the west, giving a one-sided frame to the landscape. He couldn’t come up with a fitting word that described it, but…

“Stunning, isn’t it?” Yuugi asked with a smile. 

Atem nodded, stunning was a great word. “What is this place? How did you find it?” 

“This is the place where I bonded with Gandora.” 

Atem snapped his head from the view and looked at Yuugi, eyes widened. He hadn’t given much thought, or any at all, about the connection between the riders and the dragons, he’d only made some kind of assumption that the dragons were caught and tamed. Bonded made it sound like something else entirely. 

“When you say bonded, do you mean like…?” He wasn’t sure what he wanted to ask but Yuugi seemed to still be able to answer. 

“We bond with our dragons in the same way we bond with soulmates. The magic works differently, of course, we get no messages or clear hints about where to find our dragons. It’s more like that constant pull from inside, and you have to follow it to find the source. in this case, your dragon. We also won’t die if our dragon dies and we can bond with more than one in our life, but that rarely happens. And we can still befriend dragons without bonding with them, turning them into allies.” 

That was mind-blowing to hear. “It really seems like there’s more to your people than meets the eye,” Atem said with a small smile. 

Yuugi smiled back and turned his head towards Gandora. She was resting in the sun, stretching all her limbs to get as much light as possible, a very content and relaxed expression on her face. 

“I was only a few decades old, so while I was old enough to start contributing to our tribe, I was also too young to do anything too dangerous. I was usually sent off to collect smaller things, like herbs and wild vegetables. One day, I’d been sent out to find mountain mushrooms, which turned out to be a bigger quest than originally planned. Our regular locations had been cleared already and I didn’t want to return empty-handed. I had been given two days for the task, so I thought I had time to spare to venture a little further.” 

Yuugi blushed. “I got lost and ended up being gone for ten days.” 

Atem’s eyes grew twice the size. “How did you manage to survive for that long when being so young?” 

Yuugi made a small chuckle at that. “As long as we have access to water and it’s not winter, we can survive for a long time out in the wilderness, even when we’re only decades old. We grow up in a harsh environment, as we’ve done for thousands of years, and even if our dragons are a huge asset to our culture, we still have to be tough on our own.” 

With a chest filled with admiration, Atem had to do everything in his power to not let it make him lose control. He just wanted to put his arms around Yuugi and marvel over how amazing his mate was, but that would be overstepping boundaries for sure. 

“I could’ve been gone for longer; I managed to get very far from the village as I tried to find my way back home again. After ten days it started to feel hopeless and I was getting scared that I would never get back again. I didn’t carry any proper weapons on me either, so if a mountain bear or wolf had attacked, I would most likely have ended up dead. But suddenly, I could feel a strong pull of magic calling me. No one had taught me the concept of finding our dragons, I was too young for that, but just like soulmates, you don’t get to choose your dragon or when you’ll find it; the dragon chooses you.” 

“How?” 

Yuugi shrugged. “No one really knows. All we can tell is that the first dragon rider managed to discover and use the magic of dragons, and it evolved through many generations of elves. The magic works on all different kind of dragons and all elves in our tribe. And before you ask,” he said as he turned to Atem, “it does, indeed, work on outsiders as long as their part of our tribe. So you will probably find your own dragon one day.” 

Atem was sceptical and terrified. He could barely manage to fly on Gandora, how would he manage to have a whole dragon for himself? 

“What happened then?” He asked, to get away from the subject. 

“I simply followed the pull,” Yuugi continued, “and eventually found this cliff, where a giant dragon lay, bigger than Gandora. I first thought she was the one I would bond with so I didn’t follow protocol and almost got killed on the spot. Gandora’s kind attacks by lighting up their red stones and shooting rays out of them, incinerating everything close by. I would’ve been reduced to ashes when suddenly, a much smaller dragon, around the size of a pony, came out of the cave. And as soon as I met her eyes, I knew _s__he _was the one. The bigger dragon was the mother.” 

“But… you were getting attacked? What did the mother do?” 

“She understood immediately what happened, and stopped her attack. It was clear she didn’t like me, but there’s nothing that can be done when a bond has been formed. So she let me close and I spent the entire afternoon getting to know Gandora.” 

Atem couldn’t really understand what Yuugi meant. It wasn’t like Gandora could talk? 

“What do you mean by ‘getting to know her’”? 

“It’s hard to explain. We don’t communicate through words exactly, even if I can understand simplified ones Ganny tries to tell me. She understands me perfectly and we get a long way reading and understanding body language, but we can read each other’s feelings on a deeper level as well. It’s kind of like pictures instead of colours like it is for u-… for soulmates.” 

There was a small sting in Atem’s chest. Had Yuugi meant to mention them instead? 

“A-anyway,” Yuugi immediately resumed, the stutter only confirming Atem’s guess, “a bond with a dragon is complete when we get to know the dragon’s name, which can take minutes or hours. But Gandora trusted me right away, so we barely needed time at all. Her mother let me take her with me, and thanks to Ganny, I was finally able to find my way home. People weren’t pleased with the fact that I had failed with my original quest, and my mum gave me the scolding of the decennium for being gone so long, but seeing me return with a dragon got such approval I was forgiven almost immediately.” 

Atem looked at Gandora and tried to imagine her as a small cub, but it was impossible. But imagining Yuugi as a small child wasn’t any easier. 

“It’s so hard to believe you managed all this at such a young age. When I was a few decades old I was still a brat chasing after lizards and catching fireflies.” 

Yuugi stiffened a little, and Atem could see guilt swirling. 

“So why did you come back here? Was it for the view?” He said, trying to change the subject with a small joke. Yuugi relaxed, but only a little, and shrugged. 

“I wasn’t planning on it really; Ganny and I were out flying for the fun of it when a heavy thunderstorm surprised us. It’s dangerous to fly in the rain and even worse in thunder, so we had to hide here in that cave.” He pointed at the opening in the mountain wall, and only now did Atem see that the opening was bigger than he first thought. 

“We hid in there until the storm had passed, and well, we actually fell asleep so we ended up spending the night too, but it was comfortable enough-”

Gandora suddenly made a snort, and Yuugi glared at her. 

“Don’t you ‘hmph’ me, you’re the one who’s snoring!” 

Atem couldn’t help but laugh at that. “You snore?” 

“No, Gandora does.” He pouted, but Gandora only made a small huff back, clearly not agreeing with him. 

“I guess we’ll have to sleep together then and let me be the judge of that.”

The reaction was immediate. Yuugi stiffened completely and Atem quickly turned his head away, mentally cursing himself for lacking self-control and let his mouth open when it shouldn’t. What was it with him slipping up today? Was a smile from Yuugi enough to let him stop thinking? 

Apparently, it was.

“Yuugi, I’m so sorry. I don’t want to make you more uncomfortable, I’m just being selfish.” 

A hand was on his jaw and tenderly turned his head, making him look Yuugi directly in the eyes. 

“You’re not selfish, and you’re way better at handling your feelings than I am. If anything, I’ve been the selfish one and you should be disappointed with me. But you don’t have to feel ashamed.” 

His eyes were sincere and kind but Atem could see the deep remorse radiating from Yuugi, and he hated it. He hated that he still couldn’t do anything about it. 

And he hated being the one feeling the most, doing nothing but contributing to Yuugi’s guilt by pressuring him like this. 

Atem lowered his head slightly and could barely talk in more than a whisper. “I can’t be disappointed with you.” 

* * *

Yuugi barely managed to keep his mental sigh for himself. Atem kept surprising him with how deep his affection went, and he wasn’t comfortable with it. Or rather, he wasn’t comfortable with the fact that his whole being screamed after reciprocation and yet he couldn’t do it. 

He was so close to backing out, but he managed to fight against it. He had to compromise for both of them. And his second idea was at least a genuine one. He tried to steady his voice as best as he could but his legs felt wobbly. 

“I... “ he cleared his throat a little, “I had two reasons as to why I wanted to bring you here, and none of them was for the view, or the story of me and Ganny.” 

It could be his imagination but did Atem blush a little?

“What were the reasons?” 

“This is my and Gandora’s secret special place, but… I wanted it to be special to you, too.” 

Atem swallowed. Even with his walls up, it wasn’t hard to see he had gotten nervous. 

Yuugi swallowed as well, feeling the heat creeping up his neck and to his ears. Carefully, he let his hand holding Atem’s cheek move to gently hold Atem’s neck, barely touching the hairline. The other hand found Atem’s and intertwined their fingers. This was something completely different from being close together as they had been flying, with the air now being electrifying yet strained. Yuugi couldn’t read Atem’s eyes anymore but the other couldn’t hide the fast heartbeats from Yuugi’s good hearing. He could feel his own beating all too rapidly as well. 

“Yuugi?” Atem whispered. 

He took a deep breath. 

“Can I kiss you?” 

Yuugi hadn’t originally meant to ask but… He wanted… He needed…

He wanted to be sure. He didn’t understand why but he wanted to. 

Atem didn’t say anything, only looked at him with widened eyes and Yuugi could feel anxiety rose in his chest. He needed to make it right, Atem could understand that, couldn’t he? 

“Please, Atem, I want you to ans-”

“Yes.” 

Yuugi turned blank, forgetting for a moment what he was supposed to do, despite having planned this. 

But he didn’t have to remember, or know, or think. 

He moved on his own, a brief thought of how he would be able to breathe flew through his head, and then his lips touched Atem’s. 

And for the first time since he’d rescued Atem, he could feel the sun, warming his skin and growing inside, swallowing him completely in a basking light. He could barely feel how soft Atem’s lips were against his own, he couldn’t feel his own tensed up body and the hardened grip of Atem’s neck and hand. 

But he felt something that shocked him. 

Colours were radiating from Atem, swirling with Yuugi’s own, into a chaotic, wonderful mess of endless amount of tints. They were floating together, as a whole. 

It was amazing. 

It was too much. 

Carefully, and surprisingly reluctant, he carefully pulled away and tried to remember how to breathe. As he opened his now teary eyes, he saw Atem had tears in his own. 

“I’m sorry.” He heard himself say. 

Atem’s voice was hoarse and weak. “Why are you apologising?” 

Yuugi didn’t know how to answer, because he wasn’t sure himself. Or rather, he wasn’t sure of what exactly he was apologising over, the list was too long to be acceptable, and a simple ‘sorry’ couldn’t make it okay again. 

None of them said anything more for a long time. Their colours slowly calmed down their erratic swirling. Yuugi didn’t want to shatter the moment. Being able to feel Atem like this was something he wanted to savour as much as he could. 

* * *

Atem couldn’t hold his walls up any longer. Weeks of intense and painful longing being restrained now being eradicated in seconds made his walls crumble completely. He hadn’t wanted to share his pain and turmoil with Yuugi, but this? He didn’t want to hide this. 

Yuugi’s guilt was still there, still blending together with the bliss, but to see the first steps of getting away from being taken, was more than enough for the moment. 

But Atem could also feel how overwhelmed Yuugi was, and so, he carefully built up his walls again, at least enough to lull his emotions. 

And this time, Yuugi wasn’t hurt. And Atem remembered what Yuugi had said before this blissful moment, taking his opportunity to calm his mate even further. 

“You said you had two reasons. What was the other?”

Yuugi smiled, and let the hand holding Atem’s neck catch Atem’s other hand. “I wanted to ask if we could travel somewhere.” 

Confused but curious, Atem tilted his head, waiting for Yuugi to continue. He wasn’t prepared for Yuugi’s answer, though. 

“I would like us to visit your home tribe.” 


	10. Dual strike

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aurgh, thank you all for being so patient! I've been incredibly tired and stressed lately because of life, and haven't been able to update more chapters. I've also needed to split some future chapters, but we'll still have lots of goodies on their way. And, as a small thank you, you'll get two updates today! Please enjoy, and thank you all again (and thank you again, Ashe, for being the best of beta and support ♥♥♥)
> 
> **Warning!** This chapter contains PTSD and a graphical panic attack and was really uncomfortable to write. For anyone who would be just as uncomfortable to read it, scroll down to the horizontal line to skip it.

It was a nice day, the temperature was mild and pleasant even without the sun to warm them up. It made the flight much more pleasant for Atem as he, Yuugi, and Gandora had set off to visit his birth village. 

Atem had been shocked and overjoyed to hear about Yuugi’s idea. He hadn’t been equally happy about flying all the way but their estimated travel time flying on a dragon, according to Yuugi, would only take around a day if they started early. Who knew how long it would take if they had walked? And while his healing was going fine, it was still ongoing and he needed to take it easy. Ryou hadn’t been equally overjoyed but also thought it would do him good mentally, so he’d allowed them to leave after a few days. 

So they had no choice but to fly, and they had been flying for a few hours now. Atem was actually starting to enjoy it. 

As if he’d jinxed it with the thought alone, Gandora suddenly jerked in the air, making Atem’s grip around Yuugi tighten. Something similar to an arrow passed by them but Atem lost sight of it before he could be sure of what it was. Before he could ask what just happened, he felt a shockwave of alarming colours from his mate. 

“Fuck! Monster trolls!” 

Atem stiffened in horror. 

Even after their kiss, he had been reluctant about leaving his walls down out of respect for Yuugi, and so, he’d let them stay up out of sheer habit. But the fear that now rose rapidly inside his chest made it impossible to hold them up, and they crashed violently, making Yuugi jerk from the sudden rush of chaotic terror Atem was sure he was sending. He held Yuugi even harder, shutting his eyes tightly and try to not give in to the panic. He didn’t want to meet another troll ever in his life. He didn’t want to be captured again. He didn’t want to experience the suffocating darkness again. He didn’t want to die. He didn’t want Yuugi to die! 

They suddenly landed and Atem opened his eyes, now even more terrified. He hadn’t registered that Gandora had flown down and couldn’t understand why they just hadn’t escaped. Couldn’t they just flee the trolls? 

How he had room for more fear inside, he did not know, but when Yuugi jumped off Gandora’s back, he could feel himself on the brink of collapsing. Helplessly, he let Yuugi help him down from the saddle and onto the ground. Atem’s heart was beating too fast now. Why was he being put on the ground? Why weren’t they up safely in the air? 

Yuugi’s next words left his mind blank. 

“Stay here! And don’t move!” 

He must’ve heard wrong, right? Yuugi would soon let them aboard Gandora again, and they would be able to flee, right? 

Through blurry eyes, he saw Yuugi hastily get on Gandora’s back. 

Without him.

No, that was wrong. 

This was all wrong. 

Yuugi wouldn’t leave him, right? He wouldn’t be alone again, right? 

Gandora jumped up in the air and flew away. 

Atem’s blood turned to ice. 

No... 

No. 

NO! 

NO NO NO NO NONONONNONONO!!!

Atem tried to yell, but no sound came out of his mouth. His breath became faster and shallower as he went to the edge off the cliff on unsteady legs, barely seeing the shape of the dragon flying down towards the grasslands. 

Yuugi he…

He’d really left him, he… 

He was all alone up there… 

… 

Up? 

Atem could suddenly feel mossy stone under his hands. 

When had he fallen to his knees? 

Things started to spin and turned cold.

He was breathing so hard and so fast, and there was no air, and he couldn’t see- where was he where was Yuugi he was alone why was he alone he was so scared he didn’t want to be taken he didn’t want to die he didn’t want to die hedidn’twanttodie- 

Atem’s world blackened.

* * *

Anger rose rapidly in Yuugi’s chest. He’d had his suspicions that they would encounter trolls as they got closer to the desert lands, but he’d hoped they would’ve been able to avoid them. And he’d preferred to fly away from and try their best to shake them off, but Atem’s reaction seeing them had filled him with rage. 

He tried to suppress the panic he had felt from Atem as he had dropped him off on a cliff atop a small mountain, safe from the trolls. He tried to not feel bad about leaving him behind. But he wouldn’t be able to do this with Atem being on Gandora’s back as well. 

And the mountain trolls had hurt his mate enough. 

“Ganny.” He snarled. 

Gandora made a loud, rumbling growl, mirroring her master’s fury and dove towards the large group of trolls. 

The trolls had been shouting at him and tried to shoot Gandora down with their arrows as Yuugi had left Atem in safety, but now, they also threw spears at them. Quickly evading them, Gandora’s red stones starting to glow. Yuugi couldn't decipher any words, the trolls seemed to be using their own language rather than the common tongue, but he was in no need to understand them. He wasn’t going to show them any mercy. 

Yuugi made Gandora swoop once and twice, taking out one and two and three trolls with her claws, without giving any of them a chance to counter. They avoided another couple of spears being fruitlessly thrown at them, before Gandora’s red stones shone with intense radiance, her whole body vibrating. She growled. 

‘NOW’

Yuugi shouted his command, bringing the dragon to a halt just above the snarling trolls. 

“Gandora! Giga Rays of Destruction!” 

Gandora let out a loud roar as red beams shot out of her stones, their bright light blinding Yuugi. But in his anger, he didn’t care. The trolls yelled in pain, the sound being cut off one by one as they burned into nothing, and the air began to reek of the awful smell of burned meat, making Yuugi wrinkle his face in disgust. 

As Gandora's rays died down, Yuugi brought her down to the ground, jumping off her back and pulling out his knife to take out the rest. A few trolls had survived the attack but they were heavily mutilated, with two of them missing limbs and another with its whole lower body gone, seconds away from dying. Yuugi made a quick cut at the neck, killing off the troll instantly before turning to take out another lying close.

"Elvish scum! You'll all soon learn what true destruction looks like!" A troll shouted, one without arms and a nasty wound in one of the legs. Yuugi looked at it, a bit surprised about hearing it actually talk. He had no patience for empty threats, rage still swirling, and so he walked to the troll, kneeling beside it.

"I wouldn't talk so big if I were you,” Yuugi snarled. The troll turned its head to spit on the ground, just missing Yuugi’s knee, and gave him a grotesque smile, showing off its bloody teeth. 

"You're nothing without that lizard of yours. They'll be slaughtered as well when the rest come." 

Something about that felt all too ominous to be an empty threat. "The rest?" 

The troll's grin grew even wider. "You're all dead." It said before a mocking burst of gurgling laughter came out of its mouth, spitting blood everywhere in the progress. 

It was clear Yuugi wouldn't get any more answers. Fast and hard, he stabbed the troll in the heart, silencing its gleefulness. It still carried a mocking grin in its face as Yuugi cleaned his knife and contemplated what the troll had said. The rest...?

With the whole patrol defeated, Yuugi gathered the few remaining corpses into a pile and lit it on fire. When the bodies were all burning, he jumped onto Gandora and flew back to the cliff where he’d left Atem, hoping his mate would be alright. 

But the sight before him was heart-crushing. Atem was sitting on his knees leaning forward, hugging his stomach and head lowered. 

“Atem?” 

He didn’t get a reaction, Atem was neither moving nor saying anything. Yuugi tried to shake his shoulder a little but not even that helped. 

“Atem, I’m here. You’re safe now.” 

That got a reaction from him, and Atem suddenly flung into Yugi’s arms with tears streaming down his cheeks. Yuugi quickly recovered from the surprise gesture and held him tight, stomach tightening over being the one to cause Atem to collapse like this. 

“I was so scared, I thought I was alone again.” Atem whispered with a cracked voice.

“You’ll never be alone again, Atem. I’m here.” 

Atem choked out a sob and clung even closer. “I didn’t want to be taken again.” 

Yuugi’s heart cracked hearing that, and he massaged Atem’s hairline, comforting Atem with soft and careful touches, while humming soothing melodies in his ear. 

They sat like that until Atem had calmed down. Only then did Yuugi carefully lift Atem onboard the saddle again and jumped up himself. They rose up in the air, Atem with his arms tight around Yuugi and head against his back. Yuugi could feel the tired radiating colours of relief and the small traces of fear and panic slowly disappearing, lulling him into a half-awake half-slumber. Yuugi held his hand steadily on Atem's arms, securing him. He tried to suppress the dread the troll had given him as much as possible, so to not disturb Atem any further. 

Because "the rest" could only mean more trolls would gather in Durbatûluk and the consequences that could possibly lead to made Yuugi fear something all too big and dangerous was on the horizon. 


	11. Grateful homecoming

The sun had started to set when they reached the outskirts of the desert, and Yuugi made a pleased sigh over their schedule. Despite the distraction the troll patrol had caused, they’d still arrived at a time when the desert wasn’t as hot as it could be, according to Atem. 

“How far is it now?” Yuugi asked over his shoulder, squeezing Atem’s arms a little to wake him from his nap. Atem jerked a little and looked around groggily. 

“Oh… we’re actually here?” He said, and Yuugi couldn’t place the tone of his voice. But Yuugi didn’t need fitting terms, and he didn’t need colours to read. Atem had been in captivity for who knew how many months as well as spent another month on top of that with the dragon riders. It would’ve been surprising if he hadn’t have been emotional when returning _ home _. 

When Atem spoke again after some silence, his voice cracked a little. “Go slightly more to the East and follow those rock formations, we should almost be there.” 

Yuugi nodded and Gandora sped up, probably for the chance to rest in the still warm sun. 

They really didn’t have to fly far. They flew along with the rock formations for not even half an hour, before what looked like square houses could be seen. 

“There, that’s my birth village,” Atem said, and Yuugi suddenly felt the overjoyed waves of colours Atem was radiating. It had an infectious effect as Yuugi felt elated as well. But most of all the excitement over finally getting to know Atem’s culture and origin. 

“Where should we land?” 

“We have a plaza in the middle of the village that is big enough for Ganny, we can land there.” 

“You don’t think they’ll panic when they see a dragon? You’ve said that for you and your people, dragons are creatures of fairy tales.” 

“They won’t panic when they see elves are riding it.” 

Yuugi wasn’t entirely convinced but he didn’t say anything more. Gandora made an understanding grunt and as they arrived on the outskirts, they flew a little higher to have a better view of the village. 

It was fairly big with its houses shaped in different sizes, stacked on top of each other in irregular conformations, creating even bigger structures, with a few households even sharing each one. There was no wall around the village, only fences here and there enclosing what seemed to be crops growing, as well corrals of larger beasts similar to the mooses he was used to but without horns. There was very little greenery, not a single tree in the whole village, only shrubs of different sizes. It was still enough to make Yuugi’s eyebrows raise in surprise; the mental image he’d imagined was far more barren. It was hard to believe this was a desert village.

In the middle of it, all was, indeed, a huge plaza, and as carefully as she could, Gandora landed there. Yuugi looked around a bit warily, as he couldn’t see anyone in the village, and the sun had yet to set entirely, so to assume people were asleep didn’t seem fit. 

Atem, on the other hand, jumped off and gave Gandora a pleased pat, before taking a few steps closer to the centre where what seemed to be a huge well was placed. 

“It’s me, Atem! I’ve returned!” 

They were only met with silence. Yuugi got off Gandora, too, with a growing fear of how something might’ve happened to the rest of the village. What if the trolls had taken more inhabitants? What if Atem hadn't been the first nor the last victim of the troll's cruelty? What if Atem was the only one who had been rescued and being able to return? What if-

“Atem?” 

A dark voice came from behind them and Yuugi turned his head. A tall, bearded man dressed in a large, violet robe had entered the plaza, with eyes widened in a baffled expression focusing on Atem.

Atem turned as well and walked up to the man. None of them said anything at first, and then the bearded man all of a sudden threw his arms around Atem, trapping him in a hug. Atem hugged back, hard.

“It’s really you.” The man uttered.

“Father…” 

Yuugi hadn’t really thought about what Atem’s father would be like, but he wasn’t prepared for the grand stature. It reminded him a little of Askari, Lord of the cold, with how the man seemed compassionate but domineering. Was he perhaps the ruler? 

He let out a short breath, watching the scene in front of him, and Yuugi hunched his shoulders. It felt almost intrusive seeing Atem and his nameless father hug like that, and Yuugi couldn't help but feel a bit of shame. He and Atem might’ve kissed, but he’d never hugged Atem that intensely just for the sake of affection. 

Atem suddenly pulled away from the hug and looked at Yuugi, worry in his eyes. 

_ Why of course he would sense it_, Yuugi thought, trying not to feel grim about it. 

Only now did Atem’s father give him attention. 

“And who are you, noble dragonrider, who brought back my son?” 

Atem slowly turned his head up towards his father’s face, before he turned back to Yuugi, now with a warm glint in his eyes. “Father, this is Yuugi, my saviour and soulmate.” 

Atem’s father stared at Yuugi with an open mouth while Yuugi made an awkward wave. Before he knew it, the man had walked up to him and kneeled before him while holding his hand firmly. “I cannot thank you enough for saving my son. And to learn you’re his soulmate as well fills me with joy.” He said, his voice dark and authoritative yet kind and filled with gratitude. He rose to his feet, smiling towards Yuugi. “I'm Akhenamkhanen, head of this village. I hope you’ll feel at home during your visit” 

Yuugi felt insanely flustered; this was the most intensive welcome he’d ever received and he wasn’t sure he liked it, but it only got worse when he saw that other elves were now coming out from their houses, some were staring in bewilderment at Gandora, but most of the attention was on Atem. 

Akhenamkhanen threw his arm around Yuugi’s shoulders and caught Atem with his other, holding them both like treasures. 

“My lost son has returned alive thanks to his mate! Please let us welcome Yuugi, the dragonrider!” 

The effect was immediate. All the villagers cheered happily, some in tears and some shouting what Yuugi imagined could be different versions of ‘thank you’ and ‘welcome’, he wasn’t sure really. He was all too overwhelmed by the attention to be able to try and sharpen his hearing.

Akhenamkhanen squeezed his shoulder before he started walking and led Yuugi to a bigger house on a small hill, making it raised higher up than the other houses, yet still following the stacked look of the rest of the village. Gandora carefully followed behind them, and Yuugi signed at her to stay just outside. 

The grip on his shoulder disappeared and Akhenamkhanen opened the wooden door and moved to let Yuugi pass. “Please, come inside, we have so much to talk about.” 

Yuugi nodded as thanks before he walked inside the house, Atem just behind him. He was stepping inside a large, bright room, unlike anything he’d seen. 

It hadn’t been clear while being outside in the setting sun, but the houses were built out of some sort of reddish-brown clay, with round forms and nothing sharp. There was almost no furniture but instead, benches and shelves were built as part of the walls. The most shocking part was perhaps the insane amount of textiles inside. Carpets upon carpets with huge pillows clearly meant to be sat on, as well as tapestries with different kinds of motifs hanging on the walls. There weren’t many windows, and the ones that existed were small and hidden behind draperies made of pearls. With no leathers and golden lanterns instead of crystals, it was the complete opposite of his own home. 

He felt out of place. 

Atem, on the other hand, walked just past him and looked around, slowly, overwhelmed. It was almost bizarre. Despite him being dressed similar to Yuugi, with the classic long-sleeved shirt, leather vest lined with thick cotton and pants with reinforced padding on the insides of their legs, as well as gloves and high boots, Atem still looked to be at home, not even torn between his birthplace and the dragonriders’ village. 

_ Migratory bird_, Yuugi thought, and the slight feeling of shame over dragging Atem into his style of life, shame he didn’t know he’d carried, disappeared.

Akhenamkhanen passed him and walked up to a cupboard, one made out of wood, and Yuugi could hear a foreign clinking sound. From a nearby shelf, he picked down a transparent jug filled with a dark liquid and poured it. Yuugi guessed it was glass, he had never seen the material before, only heard of it. 

The elder man turned around and carried a tray with three cups over to them. They were also made out of glass, all of them filled with the dark liquid. 

“Please, Yuugi, sit down,” he said, nodding towards the pillows on the floor. Yuugi made a small nod and obeyed, taking a seat. Akhenamkhanen offered him one of the glasses and he accepted it, mainly to be polite, and smelled it as the elder man put the tray on the small and low table in the middle of the pillows. He took a seat opposite to Yuugi. The liquid had a sweet and spicy smell but didn’t seem awful, so he took a sip, finding it tasted exactly like it smelled. 

Atem sat down between his father and Yuugi and took a glass as well, drinking it with closed eyes and a sense of peace. Yuugi wondered if this perhaps was a common drink for the sun people. It was clear, though, that Atem had missed it, making Yuugi sad that Atem hadn’t been able to taste it again despite being freed. 

“I almost can’t believe you’re back, my son, it feels all too much like a dream that could never be true,” Akhenamkhanen said. “You were gone for so long.” 

Atem dipped his head. “I didn’t want to be away for so long, I only have myself to blame for letting myself be caught in the first place.” 

Yuugi suddenly remembered back when Atem had woken up, how he’d said it was his fault for his imprisonment, but Akhenamkhanen beat him to it before Yuugi could repeat the question he had asked back then. 

“How come? What was it that happened?” 

The air grew tense instantly, much to Yuugi’s concern. But he couldn’t blame Atem for not wanting to talk about it, not when he remembered the capitol, the nasty trolls, and the state he’d found Atem in. 

Minutes passed by yet Akhenamkhanen waited patiently, wanting an answer, but refusing to put any pressure on Atem. 

“It’s my own fault because I wasn’t aware enough, I was… too distracted...” Atem mumbled, looking down at the almost empty cup he was holding with both hands. He straightened his back, and inhaled deeply, closed his eyes, exhaled slowly, and then told the story he hadn’t wanted to share before. 

* * *

It was early morning and the sun had only barely started to rise, but Atem had woken up with the dawn for once. He couldn’t understand why, but he didn’t ponder too much on it; he felt all too energetic for that. Almost like he could go for a walk. He had never been out this early, but wouldn’t it be nice to wander out in the sunrise instead of the sunset? 

His father sat at the table, sipping on a cup of tea, and had raised an eyebrow when he’d seen Atem. “Who are you and what have you done with my son? He’s never up _ this _early.” 

Atem only smirked. “Miracles happen sometimes.” 

Akhenamkhanen chuckled. “Clearly. Do you want some tea?” 

“Later. I thought I would take a walk before the day grows too hot.” 

“I see. Well, have a pleasant walk then, stranger.” 

Atem could only laughingly shake his head, as he went outside. 

The air was fresh and just warm enough for the last traces of the night's cold to disappear. This was definitely a good decision. As Atem started walking outside and away from the village, he felt spirited enough to want to venture a little further than he’d done before. He could still manage to get back in time for the heat to come if he didn’t go too far away. 

He decided to go straight north, which he rarely did. The sand in that direction wasn’t as soft as it was everywhere else, and would make the stroll back and forth much quicker. Atem didn’t even need to venture that much further from the outermost point he’d ever been when he saw some rocky hills. 

_ That seems like something fun to explore_, he thought, quickening his pace. Atem’s optimism proved to be right. The hill wasn’t high enough to be dangerous but it was big, and the many crevices and stacked rocks made it into a perfect playground. Excited, he started climbing up and down, exploring the hill, jumping around, and despite his almost 200 years, he felt like a child again. 

This was fun enough for him to want to return one day, perhaps even bring someone else with him to jump around with? 

He took a few more jumps down and landed on the other side and turned to take another route up agai-

A shot of panic went through him as something clamped over his mouth and dragged him back. Atem didn’t even get time to ask himself what had happened when suddenly, he was facing five, huge monstrous beings, with a sixth one holding him in an iron grip. They were laughing, showing off yellowed, rotten looking teeth in deformed faces and eyes filled with menace. 

Atem wouldn’t say he was afraid of much, but these beings? They made him terrified. 

“Looked what we have here, some glob thinking it’s a goat jumping around.” A dark, gritty voice said, belonging to the monster holding him.

“Perhaps we should treat it like one as well, tickling its stomach and see what comes out,” another said, pointing a sword towards Atem’s belly, all too close to cutting his skin through the tunic.

“And spoil such a nice toy? Nah. It’s been a while since we had a filthy elf in our dungeon, we should bring it back to the capital.” 

Atem’s panic and fear got sprinkled with fury, this was _ not _ something he wanted to hear, he did _ not _ want to be taken _ anywhere _! Especially not by these foul creatures who seemed all too fond of torturing and killing for the fun of it. He tried to break free from the hand holding him, but the monster only held him tighter. “Oh, a feisty one, aren’t you? You can squirm all you like, filth, you will still come with-”

The monster was abruptly cut off, as Atem managed to dig his teeth deep into the hand over his mouth, enough to draw blood and making the monster yell. He tried to not let the disgusting taste get to him and made a run for it, but another hand caught his arm, pulling him back. 

“You’re not going anywhere.” The monster catching him laughed. “We can’t let a funny plaything like you get away.” 

“It fucking bit me! Let’s kill it!”

The monster holding him chuckled. “Wasn’t it you who wanted a new toy? Besides, isn’t it funnier to drag it out? A kill is much more satisfying after a good amount of playing, don’t you agree?” 

The other monsters hummed, vile grins splitting their faces. The monster Atem had bit only glared at him, and Atem glared back, trying to make a new plan of escape, with better success this time. 

Without warning, the monster holding him smacked his cheek, hard, making his ears ring and stars blink before his eyes. 

“Let’s have our fun, then.” The monster snarled with a smirk. 

Atem couldn’t fight anymore. Like a ragdoll, he was thrown over the shoulder of the monster, and all of them started running off towards what seemed to be the north, but he couldn’t be sure, he couldn’t focus. 

And as the sun had finally risen above the horizon, he lost consciousness. 

* * *

As he finished, he looked at Yuugi. “You saw the result of what the trolls did to me. I was starved and tortured every day until you came.” He turned his head towards Akhenamkhanen and was met by widened, watered eyes. “I’m sorry, father.” 

The elder didn’t answer, he only pulled Atem into a hug, letting tears run free. “Don’t apologise, son, it wasn’t your fault. I can’t believe they put you through such horror for almost a year.” 

Atem returned the hug and didn’t say anything, but Yuugi knew he was crying as well, and he could see the guilt trying to get a grip on his mate’s mind again but to no avail.

Yuugi couldn’t focus on that, though. A hard knot had started to take form in his stomach during Atem’s tale, and now, the fury he had felt back in Durbatulûk and when they’d met the patrol earlier this day, flared up inside of him once more.

They had imprisoned Atem for a year? They’d had their “fun” with him for a whole, _ fucking _ , **year**?!

It took a lot of restraint to suppress his anger, to not make Atem further upset. He had avenged him enough.

For now. 

But it was far from satisfying. Yuugi would never, _ ever_, forgive the trolls, and he would continue to kill their malice without hesitation. 

“Yuugi.” 

Yuugi lifted his head, Akhenamkhanen’s soft voice bringing him out of his heated thoughts. 

“It’s not enough to show my gratitude, and no words exist than can ever be enough, but I thank you, from the bottom of my heart. You’ve been incredibly brave and shown invaluable strength. My son couldn’t have gotten a better soulmate.” 

Atem turned his head to look at Yuugi as well, unmistakenly agreeing with his father. 

Yuugi didn’t know what to say. His cheeks flushed and he felt like a hoax. Bravery where? Strength where? Akhenamkhanen, and Atem as well for that matter, treated him like he alone had faced the horrors inside the troll capital on his own. And sure, he wouldn’t lie and try and diminish his fighting abilities too hard when he clearly was capable of taking out monster trolls when furious enough. He was a dragonrider, and he wasn’t weak. But he wasn’t strong, either, and he knew he wouldn’t have been able to rescue Atem on his own, no matter how ready he’d been to do so before Judai and Yuusei had stopped him only to follow him there and risk their lives for him. 

It hurt to think about the wood elves. Would he ever get to know if they’d made it or not? 

Colours that said ‘don’t’ prickled his mind and he met Atem’s concerned eyes. 

His self-loathing turned into a sombre comfort, and he sighed quietly. Thinking about how it had happened wasn’t worth it, now, was it? The goal of finding and saving Atem had been successful, and that was all that should matter, wasn’t it? 

Yuugi observed father and son embracing each other, taking in the tenderness of the scene. He still had plenty of steps to take before he could say he, too, was on a similar level with Atem, so to suggest Atem couldn’t have gotten a better mate was a great disservice to the word. After all this time together, though, and what they’d been through together, for good and for bad, Yuugi found himself content with not having a choice in the matter, and that was something to find comfort in.

Yes. One day, and hopefully sooner rather than later, he would be the kind of soulmate destiny had chosen to give Atem, and be proud of it.


	12. Failing emotions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, thank you all for your patience. Life isn't working that well at the moment, I'm trying to get through but my energy is limited.

Akhenamkhanen didn’t let go of Atem for a long while, but when he did, he and Atem slowly started to catch up with each other. Atem asked about the whereabouts of tribe members that were close to him or his other relatives, and Akhenamkhanen answered. 

Yuugi didn’t have much to add, at all, and merely listened to them talk, and tried his best to keep track of what was being said. And while he couldn’t even try to learn every name mentioned, he did get valuable information. 

The suntribe was by far the most peaceful one he’d ever met, despite having lots of traits that could make them dangerous. They had little in the way of defence but a few swords, and Atem was apparently one of the most skilled ones in the village, together with Akhenamkhanen. They didn’t have soldiers, but they had magicians, possessing old magic that might not be helpful for enhancing soul messages, but was powerful in other ways. 

Akhenamkhanen had also asked Yuugi about the dragon riders, about Gandora and about their journey, and Yuugi answered as best as he could. It was getting harder, though, with the sun setting more and more until the darkness of the night had come, and Yuugi hadn’t been able to stop the yawns from increasing. So when Akhenamkhanen cut him off after yet another yawn, Yuugi felt embarrassed.

“The hour is late and you’ve been travelling from so far away, you should rest now.” He turned to Atem. “Your room is just as it was when you disappeared, my son. It’s a good thing your mate isn’t big, it would’ve been problematic trying to make room for another bed .” 

Yuugi froze. He hadn’t given it any thought, he’d just assumed he was going to sleep outside with Gandora. Was he expected to share not only a room with Atem but a bed as well?! 

He glanced at his mate but he couldn’t read Atem’s facial expression, and his walls were up again. Yuugi could feel his throat turned dry. It was definitely a sign of Atem feeling as uncomfortable as Yuugi was. 

“Oh, don’t worry about me!” Yuugi said, waving his hands as he tried to save the situation. “I’m used to sleeping outside with Gandora, and she might be anxious with being in a new place, after all. I should keep an eye on her.” 

“Don’t be modest, Yuugi.” Akhenamkhanen gave him a reassuring smile he didn’t want to see. “If you were to sleep outside, where would our manners be? We don’t throw out our guests here, and especially not family. I can assure you, your dragon can rest peacefully here.” 

Yuugi opened his mouth to protest but got interrupted by snoring noises outside. 

He barely managed to hold back a sigh. Gandora didn't have the best of timing, choosing now to be relaxed for once, instead of her usual discomfort when having to sleep in a new place.

Akhenamkhanen’s smile widened. “It seems you have nothing to fear, after all.” 

Yuugi smiled back and hoped it wouldn’t look as strained as he felt like. He glanced at Atem again, but his mate still wasn’t looking at him. Instead, he stood up from the floor.

“Thank you, father. You’re right, it’s been a long day and we should rest.” 

Akhenamkhanen got up as well, moving closer to Atem and put both his hands on his shoulders, squeezing them lightly. “I can’t believe you’re back, son, safe and sound. It's been so long since I felt this much joy.” 

Atem smiled, and then looked at Yuugi. Yuugi squinted a little, was he imagining things or was there actually a hint of distress in Atem's eyes?

“Go to sleep now, children. We have time to talk more tomorrow.” 

He let go of Atem, who looked back at his father and nodded. 

“Come, Yuugi, my room is upstairs.” Atem started walking towards a staircase in the hallway and Yuugi reluctantly followed. 

On the upper floor, Atem guided him into a small room, even smaller than Yuugi’s sleeping cave. It didn’t contain much, a low desk with a sitting pillow, a small shelf with books and what looked like dice games, and a tapestry of abstract flowers covering one of the walls. But Yuugi was more focused on the bed at the other end of the room. It was also made of the same kind of clay as the house was built of, its gentle curves being a part of the walls and the floor, but much lower than his own bed at home, with a thick, fluffy looking mattress and lots of pillows. There was no blanket but the night was warm, so Yuugi doubted the sun elves needed them.

The bed was definitely big enough for the two of them but it still felt all too small. Yuugi could feel how his chest tightened up. 

“I’m sorry about that,” he heard Atem from behind him. “My father wouldn’t understand our issues, soulmates have never been a complicated subject here.” 

_ My issues, you mean, _ Yuugi thought, shame overcoming him. 

Atem was suddenly standing in front of him. “Yuugi, please, stop doing that. We’re both in this together.” 

Yuugi scowled. “I’m the one hindering us from moving forward, not you.” 

“Why does that matter? You’ve done fine these past days and I don’t expect anything.” 

That hurt to hear, and it hurt a lot. “Don’t patronize me, Atem. This is bad enough as it is.” 

Atem’s stare was blank but Yuugi knew he’d been hurt as well. Carelessly, Yuugi ran his hand through his hair, sighing. He knew he needed to make things right again, they were tumbling too close to square one and it was all his fault. 

But the only thing that came to his mind was something he knew he wasn’t ready for. Or at least he thought he wasn’t, just the thought of it made something inside him twist painfully and he wasn’t sure if it was out of guilt and shame, or nervousness. 

And another kiss felt too insignificant. Or perhaps too awkward, Yuugi couldn’t really tell. He wasn’t even sure if he could muster enough sincerity for a hug.

He looked at the bed again, trying to put his mind together. 

“Yuugi...” 

Atem’s voice was weak and Yuugi almost didn’t dare to look at him. 

“Let’s just sleep, okay? We don’t have to do anything else.” 

Perhaps it was only because his brain was on high alert, but something about that wording caught Yuugi’s attention. 

“What do you mean by ‘anything else’?”

Atem quickly turned his head, but Yuugi still managed to catch the flash of embarrassment in Atem’s eyes, and he didn’t miss the flush on his cheeks. The realisation hit him like a falling rock. And it didn't matter that his own thoughts had touched the subject briefly just seconds ago.

“You’ve been thinking about _ it _.” 

“I…” 

Yuugi shouldn't have been surprised, really. Had they been of different genders, their bonding was supposed to result in a child. As that wasn’t the case for them, there really wasn’t much purpose for them to have sex at all. But destiny didn’t care about that. Their bond still had that crucial step to pass, before it was complete, and they both knew it, were affected by it.

Atem didn’t look at Yuugi and his face had turned even redder. 

“I mean… of course I’ve been thinking about it but I thought a lot about soulmates before I got my message and uhm, well, I’ve always been curious about the subject, but I… I don’t… You’ve had enough to think about and I didn’t…And when you found me I… Well, I never even questioned that I wouldn’t… That you would be the one to... with me...” 

Atem stopped his rambles and instead looked down at his fidgeting hands. Yuugi widened his eyes and had a small shutdown in his brain. He’d barely processed the thought of the _ idea _ of them actually doing it, he certainly hadn’t gotten as far as to wonder about the _ how_. 

And learning that Atem had thought from the very start it was obvious that _ he _would play the receiving part made Yuugi dizzy. 

“I’m so sorry, Yuugi. I don’t want to put any pressure on you just because it seems like I have needs, because I don’t.” 

“But we’ll never be truly bonded unless we…” 

“That doesn’t matter!” Atem sounded desperate now. “Please, Yuugi, I… Let’s just forget about this and sleep. Nothing else, we don’t even have to talk about _ it _until we're ready.”

“Stop saying ‘we’ when you’re not the problem.”

Atem shut his mouth and didn’t say anything more, but even with his walls up, Yuugi could see he was in conflict. 

Yuugi thought about their kiss and how he’d decided to meet his issues dead on instead of escaping them. And it had ended well, Yuugi’s heart had been at much more ease afterwards even if the feelings of guilt and shame were lingering. They hadn’t kissed again since and Atem still hadn’t tried to initiate any kind of touch, with the exception of the holds when they’d been flying. It had felt okay, though, they had taken the first crucial step and they could start moving towards a better future. They... just needed to take it slow.

The kiss had been overwhelming, to say the least, but if Yuugi would try and convince anyone, especially himself, that he hadn’t wanted to do it again, he would be lying. It had been terrifying to initiate it, true, and initiating it again now, and perhaps something even deeper wasn’t any easier, but did he have anything to lose? Was there even the smallest of reasons as to why it wouldn’t be a good idea? 

Carefully, he took a gentle hold of Atem’s chin and tilted his head, making them face each other, and steadied his voice as much as he could. 

“We could always try?” 

It was still an octave too high and Atem’s shocked expression certainly didn’t help. 

“What do you mean, ‘try’?” He whispered. 

“Don’t make me say it.” 

Atem swallowed. “We… we don’t have to.” 

“We need to at one point, so why not now?” 

* * *

Atem wanted to say no. They… Yuugi, wasn’t ready for it, no matter how resolute he looked right now. 

But he was entirely in Yuugi's hands, physically with the hold of his chin as well as metaphorically, and he didn't want to be anywhere else. He couldn’t.

Perhaps there would be a time when their bond was secured enough for Atem to take charge as well. But that time wasn't now. 

So with a voice much less steady than he wanted to, he answered. 

"If… you're certain." 

Yuugi didn’t reply and his face remained the same, but the hesitation was clear as a day. 

Atem swallowed, again. There was no way this could end well. 

Atem didn’t try and stop Yuugi, though, as he leaned in and their lips met. It was tender and soft, just like their first kiss that had made Atem’s heart race. Now it set off a pleasant swarm of butterflies in his stomach whenever he thought about it. But knowing they would, or might, go even further now made his head spin, and it took a huge effort to keep up his walls. Because no matter how earnest Yuugi was with his kiss, Atem couldn’t allow himself to overwhelm Yuugi with his emotions. Not even when Yuugi surprised him by pressing himself closer to Atem, one hand on his back to keep him in place. Not even when Yuugi's other hand found its way to Atem's neck and massaged it, causing Atem to shudder. He lifted his own hands to rest on Yuugi’s arms, causing a near-crash for him when he felt the muscles underneath the shirt.

He let Yuugi control the pace completely and just followed along, still swept up enough to not notice they had moved to the bed. Yuugi dumped him onto it, temporarily breaking the kiss as they both moved to the middle of the bed. Yuugi lowered himself on top of him, not putting all of his weight down. Their lips met again and Atem found it harder and harder to focus, lest he felt he would faint from lack of air. 

Yuugi's hands started to travel along his body, moving along his side and took a firm hold of his hip and Atem’s heart jumped a beat. He wanted to move, too, wanted to wrap his arms around Yuugi's shoulders and hold him tight, but he didn't dare to move any part of his body. Instead, he let his hands stay above his head, only moving his lips together with Yuugi's. 

Atem had to fight the urge to arch his back when he felt Yuugi carefully licking his lips, prodding him to open his mouth. He met Yuugi halfway, letting Yugi’s tongue slide along his own, and tried to not let the thrilling waves of emotion show, or reveal how affected he was by Yuugi's motions.

If his troubled focus was to blame, he didn't know, and he was usually very conscious about Yuugi’s feelings, but now, Atem couldn't read Yuugi at all. He had no walls built up, but at this point, Atem doubted he knew how to build them. 

So why couldn't he read him? 

Atem wasn't able to think more about it, as suddenly Yuugi surprised him by rolling his hips, and Atem's own walls took a critical hit from the sudden pleasure that went from his groin up to the rest of his body. 

"Nnh…" 

Atem's eyes flashed open. He hadn't meant to moan. And in his shock, he couldn't hold himself together, letting his feelings escape him. 

The effect was immediate. 

Yuugi abruptly ended their kiss and looked at Atem like a startled animal. 

Atem held his breath and managed to regain control. But with a heavy heart, he knew he'd messed up. 

* * *

Yuugi couldn't tell why his whole body suddenly screamed in protest and didn't want to do it anymore, not when it had been fine just up until it became all too evident about what they were about to do. Which was only half a lie; he’d been growing more and number the more they’d advanced, like his mind had desperately tried to take this last step no matter what he thought and felt. But it hadn’t worked and even if it had, it wouldn’t have been fair for either of them.

He couldn’t continue. And he could see how Atem saw it, too. 

With a sigh, he rolled off and lay on his side, back towards Atem. 

“I’m so sorry, I just can’t. I don’t understand why. I’m so sorry.” 

As he was blabbering, tears started rolling down his cheeks and he couldn’t stop them. He just felt guilty and awful. 

Atem didn’t say anything but put his hand on Yuugi’s arm and gave it a gentle squeeze, to try and be comforting. Yuugi couldn’t read him anymore but it was just as good; he was too selfish at the moment to be able to handle Atem’s emotions together with his own. 

They fell asleep like that, Atem’s hand resting on Yuugi’s arm, and Yuugi crying silently while the moon shined brightly outside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the angst ;__;


	13. New discoveries

Three nights passed and they didn’t try again. Yuugi tried his best to swallow his self-loathing and instead just enjoy his time with Atem’s people, family, and culture. 

The feast the evening after their arrival had been overwhelming in more ways than one, but Atem was, to Yuugi’s relief, the main attraction, with the majority of the members catching up with him. Neither Atem, nor Akhenamkhanen, or even Yuugi, mentioned anything about Atem’s captivity, except for the fact that it happened. Yuugi still couldn’t avoid the gratitude from the villagers for saving Atem’s life, though, as well as the gratulations and well-wishes of them being soul mates. Yuugi wondered if Atem had felt overwhelmed, like he did now, by the dragonriders in the beginning. Granted, their number was much lower than the sun tribe, so even with him being injured, it might not have had the same effect. 

The foreign food hadn’t been equally bewildering, even if it had still left Yuugi a bit confounded. It had been quite a surprise to learn they barely ate meat despite their kettles, but a lot of vegetables and bread. A lot of it was a little too sweet for his taste but for the most part, it was fine (he wasn’t entirely sure about the small round balls that reminded him of golden gravel in its look;  _ seksu,  _ as Atem called it). The dark liquid known as tea was, indeed, a common drink and the suntribe had it after every meal as well as before bedtime. Yuugi wasn't too fond of it, but it wasn't bad either so he drank it along with everyone else, as well as ask for the recipe from Akhenamkhanen to be able to make some in the future, giving Atem a little piece of his birth home. 

Getting to know Akhenamkhanen more hadn't been as awkward as the first night, especially not when it turned out he had a huge interest in games. Yuugi, who never really played with anyone but the forest trolls when trading wares, had been happily surprised, and during late evenings, they had played quite a lot of the dice games Yuugi had found in Atem’s room. Akhenamkhanen had turned out to be a formidable opponent, though still leaving Yuugi victorious. 

He had played a little with Atem as well, and they were more evenly matched, much to Yuugi’s delight. It was also a safe way for them to be together, Yuugi’s self-loathing and guilt never felt as apparent in those moments, and Atem was relaxed enough to have his walls down, with none of them being embarrassed by their feelings. 

Sleeping together was still something neither of them was completely comfortable with, and Yuugi got anxious whenever he was laying too close, but having Atem’s hand resting on his arm as they fell asleep was soothing to his mind. Yuugi could barely touch Atem outside the bedroom but he found that holding his hand comforted them both, so he tried to hold Atem’s hands as much as he could. After two nights, he could even wrap his arm around his mate, without letting the closeness freak him out. Slow and steady truly was the only way for them. 

Gandora was having a blast in the desert sun, as well as with the children in the village. They’d been cautious of the dragon the first day, with her being a creature from the fairy tales after all, but they’d overcome their nervousness soon enough, and showered Gandora with attention. Yuugi had also taken the bravest ones with him on shorter flights around in the nearby area, careful not to go too far, or too high, making him “almost as cool as a dragon” (Atem had laughed at that). 

As kind as Atem’s people were, though, they soon became too much, and Yuugi started to feel small fast, the more he hung around the village. So soon enough, he started to politely keep his distance while Atem continued to be everywhere all the time. 

Now, he sat leaning against the house wall under a shade, deep in thought as he listened to the humming on the insects in the bushes, feeling all too warm. Compared to dragons, he was  _ not  _ fond of the heat. And having to get rid of his clothing style, or at least take off his vest and pants and boots, keeping the shirt as well as putting on some kind of shorter pants and sandals, made him feel naked. 

“You seem to be wondering about something. What's on your mind?"

Atem sat down beside him, a cup of ice-cold water in his hand. Yuugi gratefully accepted the offered drink and took a sip, immediately feeling his head becoming more refreshed. 

"Nothing significant really, just something I've thought about since we got here."

Atem tilted his head and waited patiently for Yuugi to continue, without trying to read him.

“How come you made the decision to stay with me? I mean, we’re soulmates of course, but why would you move in  _ with me  _ rather than me moving in with  _ you _ ? Even your father didn’t question it but immediately welcomed me as a guest.”

“How does it work for the dragon riders? Have any of you moved out of the tribe for the sake of a soul mate?”

Yuugi couldn’t really come up with anyone who had ever done that, but… it must’ve happened. It had to be long before he was born, though, but he couldn’t imagine it being unlikely.

“I don’t know about any specific cases but I’m sure it has happened at some point.”

Atem shook his head. “I find that hard to believe. Do you want to know why I think that?”

Yuugi nodded, feeling confused.

“All of the different kinds of elves have their own traditions and cultures, and while we all share the concept of soul mates, we still think differently about it. To answer your question; in my culture, you simply move in with the one who finds the other first, and we rarely do so unless they’re from another sun tribe. If our mates are from another tribe, we’ve always been found first. We’ve had elves moving in with the snow elves, the wood elves, and even the horse nomads. The latter happens rarely but it does.”

He met Yuugi’s eyes.

“The reason why I think the dragon riders have never moved out for a soul mate is simply that while you can travel fast and long with your dragons, you’re also the most isolated people of all of our kind. You can cover distances no other elf can ever dream of doing, you’ve been seen by so many and yet very few have ever interacted with you.”

He hesitated before he carefully took a hold of Yuugi’s hand, surprising Yuugi with the initiative as well as the gentleness. Yuugi definitely didn’t want to let go, so he gave Atem’s hand an encouraging squeeze. 

“Besides”, Atem continued, “you’re all very close to each other, more so than we are in my village. It’s… quite admirable, but also a bit intimidating.”

“Because of our dragons?”

“No. Granted, they are terrifying beasts and I wouldn’t want to get on the bad side with any of them. It’s your tight community. It doesn’t matter that you’re all warm and welcoming, it’s hard to get past the bubble and be a true part of it.”

Atem looked away and an austere expression fell over him.

“I know because I’m still outside of it.”

He lowered his walls and invited Yuugi in. The afflicted wave he was met by made him feel genuinely sorry for Atem, especially when he saw how deep it went. It wasn't like Yuugi needed to be integrated with Atem's people in the same way. 

He scooted closer and tried to be equally consoling in mind and body, wrapping his arm around him and give him a kiss on the cheek while carefully quieting the wave, pushing his own emotions that tried to make him believe this intimacy was too much to the side.

It didn’t help entirely, but nothing more could be done about it right now. The rest had to come with time, and they both knew it would. Neither Kisara nor Malik had become solid members of the tribe immediately, but now, they had the same natural place as everyone else, and Atem would have that as well.

But at the moment, all Yuugi could do was to try and be there. He let Atem rest against him as they both leaned back towards the wall behind them and listened to the humming insects. Atem didn’t rebuild his walls and Yuugi didn’t try to hide his own emotions, but instead, they swirled freely. There was melancholy there as well as embarrassment, yet neither of them felt uncomfortable, and Yuugi sighed, deeply. 

_ How strange to be consoled yet not at ease _ , Yuugi thought, and from Atem, he could feel agreement without anguish. 

Strange birds flew in the sky, and Yuugi looked at them without focusing on any of them in particular. Until he realised they were actually getting closer, their movements being less and less birdlike. 

He squinted, and his heart leapt in his chest. They were dragons, and he recognised them; Red-Eyes, Flamwell and Valio. 

“Atem, we’re getting visitors.” 

Atem raised his head and turned his head in the same direction as Yuugi, and he was just as confused. 

“Atem? Yuugi? Do you know these dragons?” 

Akhenamkhanen was suddenly at their side, sounding worrisome. 

“We do, they’re friends of mine,” Yuugi said, “but I don’t know why they would take the trouble of finding us.” 

Yuugi went out to the plaza and awaited their landing. As they got closer, the curious villagers came as well, keeping their distance to the outer parts of the open space, with the rest of the village paused their activities to keep track of what was going on. 

Red-Eyes was the one to land first, but Jounouchi barely waited that long and jumped off the dragon’s back, rushing towards Yuugi. The expression on his face filled Yuugi with dread. He’d never seen Jounouchi ever being  _ this  _ serious before.

“Jounouchi, what are you doing here?” 

“Yuugi, you have to come back, now!” 

“What? Why?” 

“The trolls have declared war on all of the Elvish and magical races!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _seksu_ is the Berber word for couscous
> 
> I'm sorry for the short chapter. We're getting off to some srs business next time! We'll see if I update tomorrow, though. Life isn't the easiest right now, and not only because of school.


	14. Mobilizing forces

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, thank you all for your patience, you're all true gems. And thank you all for the comments and kudos ♥

Yuugi froze, and behind him, he could hear Atem make a small gasp. 

“What… what do you mean ‘war’? When did this happen?” 

Jounouchi didn’t seem able to be still. “We got a message from the eastern wood elves two nights ago. They’d been in contact with the dwarfs; the trolls from Durbatulûk are preparing for war. They’re planning on attacking in just a few days.” 

Hearing Jounouchi mention the eastern wood elves made Yuugi think of Judai and Yuusei, and once again, he hoped they’d been able to escape the fortress in one piece, or else he would never forgive himself. 

“How can they declare war on all of the magical races? How many are there?” 

“Because they want to. They don’t seem to have any other reason according to the dwarfs and wood elves. A couple of dwarfs got caught and then set free to deliver the declaration, with only one of them returning.” Jounouchi’s words made Yuugi flinch, reminding him how brutal he knew they could be, and the wave of dread he could sense from Atem didn’t help. 

Anzu jumped off Valio and came up to them. 

“From what we were told,” she said, “there seem to be tens of thousands of trolls gathered, but who knows if it’s the total number, or if only the ones outside the mountains are counted for, with a lot more inside the capitol.” 

Yuugi shivered. There had been many trolls when he visited Durbatulûk, but he hadn’t been able to get a grip of the size of the place, and definitely not the number of trolls living there. 

“But... if all the races join forces, aren’t we stronger in numbers?” 

“We would be, but we don’t have time to rally every single tribe,” Honda said, the last one to join in. “And not every tribe is able to fight, either. Our whole village has flown across the lands to gather as many troops as possible, and I hope by the Divine Dragons that more have been gathered by now, but it didn’t look good when we left.” 

“Seto and Kisara have even gone to befriend more dragons to fight for us, and they had managed to harness a few, but even with them…” Anzu paused, mouth opened, before closing it, lips tightened. 

Swallowing, Yuugi glanced at Atem. His body was completely frozen and gaze unfocused. Yuugi put his arm around his shoulder, squeezing it. 

“I’ll keep you safe, I promise.” He whispered in Atem’s ear, and Atem was pulled out of his trance, leaning into Yuugi’s hold. 

“This is very troubling news,” Yuugi heard behind him. Akhenamkhanen had walked up to the riders. “It’s a pity your visit couldn’t have been under better circumstances, dragon riders. You are, of course, welcome here in peaceful times. But we don’t have much of a choice now, do we?” 

Jounouchi shook his head, and then raised an eyebrow. “Hang on, who are you?” 

“This is my father and head of our village,” Atem said, his voice a bit steadier but still low. 

“My name is Akhenamkhanen, but I’m afraid we don’t have much time with pleasantries if a war is upon us.” 

Jounouchi’s ears turned red, apparently abashed for talking so informally with the person in charge. He shook his head and seemed to recollect himself. “Sir, we really need every fighter we can gather and more, so if you have anyone in this village that can join-” 

Akhenamkhanen raised his hand and cut him off. “We are a peaceful tribe, just like the other sun tribes, and we don’t have many weapons fit for war, but we can fight. Our magic can do an equal amount of harm as it can do good. I assume you may need more healers, as well?” 

“Oh, I... yeah, we do! Magic works really good! And we will need every healer we can get, we only have our own and his apprentice at the moment, with a few more joining from what I heard.” 

Akhenamkhanen nodded. He excused himself and went to gather the suitable magicians, with Jounouchi and Honda following to keep adding more information. 

Yuugi took the opportunity to turn to Atem because he realised he’d never asked…

“Do you know any magic?” 

Atem shook his head. “Magic wasn’t my thing, I liked swords much more and was pretty good with them, until…” 

He didn’t have to continue, Yuugi understood anyway. Fucking trolls, breaking his mate as they had. 

But Yuugi wouldn’t have allowed Atem to join the battle anyway, even without his mental scars, for the sake of keeping him safe. It wouldn’t have mattered if others would’ve requested him to. Yuugi would’ve put him somewhere safe while still being helpful. Perhaps he could stay with Ryou… 

Fear hit Yuugi like a spear, and Atem had clasped his hands around Yuugi’s, bringing them up to his chest. “Are you going to…?” 

Yuugi paused. He hadn’t thought  _ that  _ far, but now when he did…

“No…” Atem whispered, eyes widening. 

“I’m sorry to interrupt you guys, but I really need to talk with you.” 

Anzu had walked up to them, looking deeply troubled. “With the exception of Ryou and Shizuka who will be in charge of the healing centre, everyone else of us is going to be out on the battlefield.” She turned to Atem. “You don’t have a dragon, Atem, so it’s not fair to ask if you can ride one of the ones we’ve tamed, but-” 

“Atem’s not fighting.” 

Yuugi didn’t recognise his harsh tone and it didn’t seem like Anzu did either, but he couldn’t care about that now. Atem had frozen again like a startled animal. Yuugi hesitated, unsure of how much he could explain. But this was Anzu, and of all the people he could tell, she was one of the most trustworthy ones. 

“Atem’s not fighting, these were the trolls who kidnapped and tortured him for almost a year, and now, whenever he’s reminded of that time, he freezes in panic, just like he’s doing now.” He took his eyes from Anzu and glanced at his mate. Atem hadn’t lost his focus entirely like he’d done before because he made a small nod, telling Yuugi he was listening, but he kept staring straight forward and squeezed his hands a little harder around Yuugi’s. Not entirely satisfied, Yuugi took a small step forward closer, and let his forehead carefully touch Atem’s. “I’m not letting him suffer from their presence ever again.” 

It turned quiet for a short while, before Anzu spoke up again, sharing Yuugi’s idea.

“I’m sure Ryou needs all the help he can get. Perhaps you can stay there with him, Atem.” 

Atem snapped out of his unfocused state and blinked. He lifted his head and looked directly at Anzu. “But Yuugi’s going to fight, isn’t he?” 

Neither Anzu nor Yuugi gave a direct answer to that, but Yuugi knew Atem could feel it. 

And he didn’t like it more than his mate did. 

* * *

Akhenamkhanen had managed to gather the strongest magicians, all of them more than willing to join the battle for survival. Yuugi did recognise a few names from when Akhenamkhanen and Atem had caught up with each other. 

Atem’s cousin Set, who Yuugi had vague memories of him having used his magic to collect their cattle. His true power turned out to be the ability to control minds, making anyone into a slave under his command would he desire so. 

Two other possessed similar powers. Shada had the ability to enter a person’s troubled mind and ease it or make said person a mindless puppet under his control. Mahad, on the other hand, could find the life source of many different kinds of living creatures, elves as well as bigger animals, but he could also seal souls permanently into objects, killing the physical body and trapping a person in forever darkness. 

Yuugi shuddered; he was glad Atem’s tribe was pacifists usually, or else they would make a terrifying foe. 

All in all, the sun tribe could provide seven powerful magicians whose powers would make them invaluable, including healers. 

With time being of the essence, they had to make their farewells short. Yuugi could barely watch the other sun tribe elves; their confusion mixed with the sorrow of a situation they'd never had to face before. The teary hugs, the kisses filled with sorrow, the hasty packing of necessities; it all made his heart almost too heavy to carry. 

"This wasn't how I expected your visit to end," Yuugi heard beside him. Akhenamkhanen came up to him as he was preparing Gandora for the flight. Yuugi could barely meet the elder man's gaze, and his stomach turned at the thought of separating Atem from his father in such a cruel way. Which made him completely unprepared for Akhenamkhanen's next words. 

"But I never expected to ever fly on a dragon, either, so I guess we only have to accept the sudden turn of events." 

Yuugi was about to ask him what he meant but then Atem arrived with what seemed to be simpler baggage of possible necessities. 

"Gandora is okay with carrying all three of us, right?" He asked. Yuugi's eyebrows flew up. 

"Well, yes, she can, but, are you…?" He stammered. 

Akhenamkhanen met Yuugi's eyes, with a stern expression. "As head of this village, it is my duty to protect my people, and that includes our magicians sent for battle. And," he took a small pause to put his arm around Atem's shoulders, "I don't want to be separated from my son, not again." 

Atem looked stiff, and Yuugi didn't like it. He was, of course, happy over Atem not having to leave his father for such a cruel reason, but letting him come along wasn't much better. But Yuugi knew he had nothing to say in the matter, not against Akhenamkhanen's authority. So while he didn't like it one bit, he helped the elder onto Gandora's back, letting him take the major part of the saddle together with Atem, and Yuugi sitting in front on them both further up on Gandora's neck.

None of the sun tribe elves was overjoyed with the idea of flying, just like Atem had been, but they got neatly secured on both Flamwell and Red-Eyes, with Anzu leaving to visit two other sun tribes and ask for aid. And all too soon since the dragons had landed to deliver their urgent message, they were up in the air, flying towards the mountains in the north. 

* * *

The sight was a bizarre one if Yuugi had to use one word to describe it, but not even that covered it. At the foot of the mountain, where scattered caves in different sizes along the mountainside spoke of very old times, a huge camp had been set up with tents of different sizes and styles, with heavy activity from more people than Yuugi could’ve ever imagined. Dragons were flying over it as well as walking along the ground and Yuugi didn’t recognise half of them. 

It seemed like Seto and Kisara had done a great job. 

As they land, Yuugi tried to get a better look at the number of people moving around, to make some estimation of how many they were, but it was impossible. 

All of them landed on the outskirts of the camp, where Seto was standing with Mai, their dragons just behind them. 

“You made it.” Mai met them as they disembarked. 

“Yeah, we brought desert-wizards with us!” Jounouchi exclaimed with a grin, only to get an elbow in his side as Anzu walked past him, sneering “show some respect” in his ear. 

“I can see that, thank you,” Mai said, sounding less than amused. “With you back, all the dragonriders have been gathered and we’re only awaiting a few more tribes from the southern forests to come. But with the war starting tomorrow, we can’t wait for much longer for more people to join us.” 

The riders nodded in understanding, and Mai walked past them to greet the magicians. 

Yuugi swallowed. They only had one more night to complete preparations? He wasn’t sure about the status of all the troops, true, but it felt like too little time. And all too few fighters. The already bad odds he feared seemed to turn even lower. 

He didn't get more time to think about it when a loud voice yelled at him.

“Yuugi!”

He snapped his head to the side only to be tackled by an overjoyed Judai. 

“You made it! You actually made it! I barely believed it was Gandora coming just now!” Judai giggled, squeezing every bit of air out of him. But the joy of seeing the wood elf again was worth suffocating for. A small rise of dread manage to sit in his chest at the thought of Yuusei, but the black-haired wood elf was right behind them, giving Yuugi a warm smile. 

“I should be the one saying that.” Yuugi managed to say through pained gasps, Judai seemed to realise his mistake of hugging too tight, and released him with a small “sorry”. 

“We managed to fight our way through the trolls that attacked us in that corridor and got out through another window, just minutes after you did.” 

“It takes more than a couple of trolls to take us down, and we’ll be ready to show it tomorrow!” Judai said, flexing a little, but Yuugi didn’t miss the flash of worry in both his and Yuusei’s eyes. And now, better than back at his first meeting with the wood elves did Yuugi understand the fear of having everything to lose. 

Which reminded him…

He turned to Atem, gesturing to him. “Judai. Yuusei. This is Atem, my soulmate. Atem, these are the elves that helped me save you from the dungeon.” 

Atem had stood awkwardly in silence to the side but now shared the same widened expression as the wood elves did. Judai seemed eager to glomp him as well but Yuusei had a hand on his shoulder, seemingly restraining him. 

“It’s so cool to see you, you know, actually walking around! You were practically just a doll when we first saw you.” 

Atem greeted the wood elves with a nod. “It’s good to see you two alive, as well. Yuugi has mentioned you many times, hoping you’d managed to survive.”

“And we sure did!” Judai grinned, as Yuusei put his arm around Judai’s shoulders and buried his face in the brown hair. “With mostly no harm done.” 

“Judai, love, perhaps you should mention how we coughed for a week after being in the middle of that last smoke bomb you set off when we escaped,” Yuusei muttered into Judai’s hair, just audible enough. "Not to mention the cut on your arm…" 

Judai waved his hand. “I said mostly no harm done.”

Yuugi laughed and his heart swelled. “I’m so happy to see you both. I’ve been so worried, you sacrificed so much.” 

“We did it on our own free will, Yuugi, so don’t feel bad about it,” Yuusei said, turning his head from Judai’s and looking at Yuugi, brows in the same scowl Yuugi remembered but with eyes soft and a kind smile. “You saved your mate, we all got out, and we all survived. And we got lots of valuable information about Durbatulûk and its inhabitants.” 

Yuugi wasn’t sure if his smile could get wider but it certainly felt like it. “Yuusei…” 

The smile on the wood elf widened a little as well. “Well, see you later.” 

Yuugi raised his eyebrows, mildly baffled. “You’re going already?” 

“We have to take care of some things before the battle,” Judai said with eyes that didn't match his smile. “But afterwards we’ll catch up, yeah?”

“Of course,” Yuugi nodded, giving Judai a reassuring grin. 

“Great! Until then!” Judai waved enthusiastically, hopping off after Yuusei. 

Yuugi looked after them until they’d disappeared amongst the tents. One of the layers of worry had disappeared from inside him, shaving away a good chunk of the guilt he'd carried. 

A hand found his and gave it a gentle squeeze, a wave of relief that wasn’t his own but matched the one he himself felt washing over him. Yuugi turned his head and met Atem's red, warm eyes, and Yuugi let himself be embraced by it. The concern he’d felt ever since that night of Atem’s rescue, now disappeared completely, taking a lot of weight off Yuugi’s shoulders. 

A stern voice behind them brought them back to the now. 

"Yuugi, we’ll have a war meeting in the evening along with every leader of the gathered tribe, but since we’re so few in numbers, I want every fighting dragon rider to attend the meeting, with our healers and the kids being the exception," Mai decreed. She glanced at Atem. "I don't expect you to join the battle, Atem, considering the enemy we're facing, as well as the fact you haven't bonded with a dragon of your own yet. So I would rather see you stay in the healer caves together with Ryou. They'll need every help they can get. I'm sure Anzu might've mentioned it when they all brought you here?" 

Atem went from tense to confused, with an eyebrow raised. "Yes, she did. But I'm no healer, though." 

Mai waved her hand at him. "The healers need more than magic, Atem, and if they don't have to spend time on constantly finding and mixing salves and ointments, as well as have someone who can bring them whatever else they might need, they can do a more efficient job.” She looked between the two of them. “We have stationed ourselves in the caves higher up on the mountain wall. There’s a smaller one reserved for you two, so I suggest you settle in for the night.” 

Both Atem and Yuugi bowed slightly before Mai turned back to the sun tribe magicians, and they all walked off towards the tents, most likely to find somewhere for them to settle in as well. 

“I… guess we should be moving as well.” 

Atem’s voice was low and monotone, and Yuugi didn’t like it. But this wasn’t the time to handle fears for tomorrow. So instead, he nodded, before turning back to Gandora and sending her off to find a nest of her own. 

* * *

If the enormous camp had been a bizarre sight, the war meeting was even more so. As he and Atem had gone to their assigned cave, they’d passed by many elves and dwarfs and trolls, all of them hanging around or doing preparations in their small groups, with very little interaction between races. 

The war meeting, though? The leaders from all the tribes were crammed into one, giant, cave, where countless different languages and accents bounced between the walls, giving Yuugi a headache. He was happy to see some familiar faces, though. Askari was there together with Lossen and the other two guards he’d met, as well as what he guessed were even more leaders from other snow elf tribes. He hadn’t met many wood elves besides Judai and Yuusei, but he was still shocked to see how many leaders of different tribes there were, especially when he thought about how hard it must’ve been to assemble so many during so little time. Yuugi wasn’t surprised about seeing only one other sun tribe there, though, as they stood and talked with Akhenamkhanen. None of them looked like they were prepared for war, so Yuugi assumed they were mainly magicians as well, and not warriors.

Aigami was there, as well, giving Yuugi a short nod before demonstratively turning his head back to the other horse nomads. A fleeting memory of their encounter made Yuugi wonder if the other clans had just as bad temper as Aigami’s, so he kept his distance, thankful  to be fighting a common enemy instead of each other (just the fact the nomads had turned up at all was more than enough).

“Damn”, Yuugi heard beside him and he turned his head towards Jounouchi, “this really makes you think about how big the world actually is.” 

Yuugi could only nod. “Yeah, and how little we actually know about it, despite being able to travel so much and such distances.” He replied, remembering Yuusei’s and Atem’s words. 

Jounouchi snickered. “True, perhaps this war can change that.” 

Yuugi smiled at the thought. “Yeah, perhaps.” He said, hoping the war would bring something better than just survival from annihilation. 

* * *

Yuugi couldn’t say that the meeting helped ease his worries, even if he felt more hopeful and determined the longer it went on. Neither he nor the other riders had anything to add to the planning, but with how Mai engaged in the processes of forming strategies as well as contributing vital information of the dragons’ strengths and weaknesses, no other was needed. 

For the majority of the meeting, though, Yuugi zoned out, only listening to the details that involved the riders and what his personal task would be. A part of him wasn’t too happy about being the backup on the southern flank where Jounouchi and Honda would go, but this was neither the time nor place to let old insecurities and wishes resurface. And with the importance of his role, there wasn’t any room for arguments. Yuugi would do his part and he would do his best and even more.

He almost missed how the discussions and the focused atmosphere turned into something more excited as people instead started chanting together in their own languages and accents, as if people were starting to store up adrenaline for the fight the next day. 

Mai turned her frank and steady gaze on the dragon riders, and her words were calm but filled with rage. 

“War… our tribe is too young to understand the word but our long combat for survival in the hostility that is our world has formed us and made us strong. We know to protect what is dearest to us. We know the power of dammed and released rage. And now, it’s time to unleash it on those who need to answer for what they did to one of our members, as well as pay for their evil schemes.” 

She climbed up to stand on the nearby table, voice louder. “We’ll fly and we’ll fight, and we’ll crush every single monster troll who dared open their foul mouths, in the name of the Divine Dragons!” 

“FOR THE DIVINE DRAGONS!!!”

The dragonriders shouted in unison, their fists raised towards the ceiling and the air was filled with adrenaline. The agony was still strong inside Yuugi, but he let himself be swept up by it, for a moment forgetting what tomorrow would bring, and instead let his fury towards the trolls be channelled without hinder. 

He was glad Atem wasn’t there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I keep adding chapters since I get better places to cut the already written and almost-polished ones, doh! 
> 
> You won't have to wait for another couple of weeks this time, the next chapter will come up tomorrow!


	15. Final sunrise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My day got longer and more draining than I anticipated so I'm feeling pretty done and like I could sleep for a week. But here we have a new chapter at least, so yay!
> 
> Fair warning, this chapter contains non-graphical sexual content, so for those uncomfortable with that, scroll down after the third line to the final three sentences.

The sun had set by the time Yuugi left the meeting quarters, but there were no stars out, all hidden behind clouds that made the night even darker. 

The excitement from before had faded and now, he just felt empty. All around him, activities and preparations for tomorrow’s battle had started to calm down a bit, with people now settling to rest for the night, with meals being shared at the campfires and the last tents being set up. A few of the tribes, mainly dwarfs, had taken shelter in the caves close to the ground, but the dragon riders had escaped to the smaller ones high up in the mountains, close to the temporary nests the dragons had made for themselves at the top.

Walking through the camp, Yuugi let his eyes wander, as if he was trying to remember every face and every person.

_ How many of you will die tomorrow? _ He couldn’t help but think. Of all of these people, how many would never return to their tribe and loved ones? How many of them would have to suffer through the upcoming horrors?

Yuugi’s stomach twisted, as his thoughts wandered further to pond on the dragon riders. How many of _ them _ would survive? Yuugi didn’t want to imagine anyone dying, he didn’t want to lose _ any _ of them tomorrow, neither elf nor dragon. The dragons may be powerful and the strongest asset in the upcoming fight, but they weren’t immortal.

Would Gandora die? Would _ he _ die?

A pair of red coloured eyes flashed in his head and he swallowed. No, he couldn’t die; the thought of the agony his death would cause made him nauseous.

Yuugi quickened the pace. He wanted to be with Atem. 

* * *

In the small cave they would spend the night in, he found Atem, sitting on the thick furs on the floor with legs crossed and elbows resting on his knees. His head was in his hands, and there was a distant look in his eyes. He glanced up when Yuugi sat down beside him and Yuugi’s heart ached; he’d been crying.

“I don’t want to lose you tomorrow,” Atem whispered, as his eyes grew watery again.

Guilt went through Yuugi’s body because he knew there was no way he could promise Atem it wouldn’t happen, no matter how much he wanted and would do his best to avoid such a cruel fate for his mate. He could settle for the truth at least, and so he did, no matter how un-comforting it was. “I don’t want to leave you tomorrow.”

He raised his hand and softly stroked Atem’s cheek, wiping away the single tear that had started to run down. Atem lifted his own hand and put it on top of Yuugi’s, leaning into the touch.

“I’m so scared, Yuugi.”

“I know. I’m scared as well.”

For a few but long minutes, they sat quietly, only looking into each other’s eyes. Then, Yuugi leant in for a comforting kiss, without knowing if it was to ease Atem’s heart or his own, but most likely, it was both.

The touch of their lips soon turned from tenderness into desperation as they pressed against each other even harder, with Atem moving his hand to take hold of Yuugi’s neck, making Yuugi surprised for a second over the unexpected bold move. But he didn’t care. Instead, he only wanted to be closer.

Slowly, Yuugi guided them both to lie down on the furs instead, facing each other as they lay on their sides. Lips were still moving, too firmly and too rushed. Yuugi bit more than nibbled Atem’s under lip, making him gasp, and Yuugi took the opportunity to let his tongue meet Atem’s. Colours were swirling but Yuugi didn’t have, nor did he want to gather enough focus to actually read them. All he wanted was to be close enough to feel Atem’s heartbeat against his own, with their bodies pressed against each other, leaving no space between them.

Something close to a whine escaped from Atem and Yuugi froze a little, snapping out of his trance enough to affect Atem as well, and they separated, but just enough for their breaths to still blend together. 

This was all too reminiscent from the situation just a few days ago, and yet it wasn’t.

Yuugi didn’t want to leave this. He didn’t want to leave Atem. He didn’t want it to end for them.

Atem started to move his hand away from Yuugi’s neck but Yuugi stopped it from withdrawing completely by taking a firm hold of Atem’s wrist, startling him. Yuugi almost let go of his grip, he couldn’t even explain to himself why he’d caught it in the first place, but if he did let go, wouldn’t that mean he didn’t care? That the future wasn’t important to him?

Were the desperate wishes and desires from just seconds ago all but lies? Or was that very desperation clouding his mind?

There was a sting in Yuugi’s heart and the guilt that had plagued him since that night in Atem’s birth village came crashing down upon him. And Atem saw it.

He started to struggle with his hand to get out of Yuugi’s grip, but Yuugi could sense how it was more like Atem was begging to be released. And it only resulted in Yuugi’s grip tightening on its own accord.

Atem opened his mouth as if to say something but nothing came out.

_ Do you love him? _

Ryou’s words suddenly ran through his head. They felt old and not as they’d just been said not even a week ago. Yuugi let himself get lost in Atem’s eyes, eyes that at that moment were filled with unease, and he asked himself the same question. Did he?

Deliberately, Yuugi let memories and feelings run free in his head, with the only focus being on not letting Atem see too much of it, not right now.

And he was brought back to the dungeon when Atem had been saved. He was brought back to the healer cave and the deep agony of having to watch him almost die. He was brought back to the night when Atem woke up and the disappointment and dismal it had left them both with. He was brought back to the moment when he took the decision to stop fighting and finally walk the path chosen for him.

Their first kiss.

The attack of the monster trolls.

The soul-crushing crossroad he hadn’t been able to continue walking past.

No, he couldn’t stop the guilt. But he could let another emotion in, one that slowly took over his mind and pushed the shame to the side; 

Acceptance.

Yes, he was the reason they hadn’t moved forward as they should’ve, their journey towards an established bond being completely in his control. Yes, he was the one who had caused pain for them both without being able to make it right.

It was cruel, even now as their fear was even more evident.

But he could make it right. And not just like he’d done in the past, but actually put an end to all the unnecessary struggles

The acceptance started to turn into determination instead. His fear, Atem’s fear, didn’t have any effect on him anymore. It was nothing but his own decision now, and he’d made it with a calm heart.

Yuugi brought Atem’s hand to his mouth and kissed one of the knuckles, causing Atem to do a sharp inhale and widen his eyes, eyes that began overflowing with tears over Yuugi’s next words.

“I want to be with you forever.”

* * *

Atem’s breath hitched in his throat and he had a moment of panic before he could actually register what Yuugi had said. As it started to clear up for him, he made an embarrassing sob that he was sure would’ve thrown off Yuugi just days ago, but now, only made him smile. 

With his thumb, Yuugi wiped away some of Atem’s tears, before he leaned in and kissed him again. And Atem tried, he really tried to focus on the now, but being so engulfed in Yuugi’s tenderness, he got lost in his own affection and euphoria. He followed, perfectly attuned to Yuugi’s movements as Yuugi switched their positions so that he lay on top of Atem. Their positions were once again almost the same as just three days ago, but this time, Atem could feel Yuugi completely. And he couldn’t sense any hesitation or any shame from his mate.

Tentatively, but without reluctance, he licked Yuugi’s lips, but he hadn’t needed to; Yuugi opened his mouth for him and welcomed his tongue gently, slowly moving with a pleasant hum. It didn’t take long for that fondness to start turning into something hotter, but with none of them wanting to advance too fast. They found a balance where they could still take their time, despite having so little of it.

Warmth was pooling in Atem’s stomach and he could feel it spread out to the rest of his body as their kissing and breathing got heavier. But when Yuugi rolled his hips, an intense wave ran through his entire body, and a small whine came from the back of his throat. His own hips twitched in response and bucked up against Yuugi, and his hands searched their way to the hem of Yuugi’s tunic.

Yuugi broke their kiss and sat up, straddling Atem as he pulled the tunic over his head. They hadn’t gotten this far the last time and Atem had never seen Yuugi naked, so to see his slender but defined chest and arms sent a thrill along his spine.

_ Beautiful, _ was all he could think with a mind almost non-functioning. A blush painted Yuugi’s already pink coloured cheeks as he sensed Atem’s praise, but he only smiled, before his hands found the hem of Atem’s shirt. Raising his upper body, Atem let Yuugi pull the shirt over his head, careful yet impatient. Atem knew his body wasn’t back in its normal fit, but he had started to regain enough of his old muscular build to not feel embarrassed over the state of his body. He still didn’t like the all too many scars but it was clear Yuugi didn’t care about them; the colours only told him of adoration.

Hands were moving along the bodies, harmonized, and Yuugi leaned down to kiss Atem again, now a bit harder. Atem kissed back with vigour, moving his hands along Yuugi’s biceps, moaning lowly at the touch, and feeling another thrill along his spine with Yuugi’s responding growl. 

* * *

Atem’s skin burned under his hands, and Yuugi couldn’t get enough of it, couldn’t taste enough. He broke their kiss and his mouth wandered along the jawline and along the neck, sucking a little where the neck met the shoulder, making Atem turning his head and give Yuugi even more access, letting Yuugi’s mouth move up to his ear, nibbling on the earlobe. As Atem shuddered, Yuugi took the opportunity to let his hand tug at Atem’s pants. 

Getting them off while having his mouth attached to Atem’s ear wasn’t possible, so they separated again to let Yuugi take both their pants off, leaving them stark naked on the pelt. Atem looked almost vulnerable under him, a look that should’ve reminded him all too much of their first days together, but instead, only left him with affection. He wanted to kiss him again, but he stopped himself, and instead, he raised to get a bottle of oil from his satchel. He’d only ever used it for smoothing his skin after dry and cold winter days and had never imagined it could have other uses as well, but it would work perfectly for them.

As he returned to the pelt and kneeled between Atem’s legs, Yuugi felt a small hint of shame return at the memory of their first time. Atem took hold of his hand and squeezed, smiling at him while reassuring colours swirled around them. Yuugi let out a small breath, feeling it take a good amount of the shame with it. 

Yuugi’s fingers felt slippery from the oil, and carefully, his fingers found their way between Atem’s legs and began to circle around. Atem shivered and his grip of Yuugi’s hand tightened, as a finger slipped inside, moving with ease past the ring of muscles. 

Atem tensed up around him but spread his legs further, letting Yuugi know he could continue, slowly. But Yuugi knew it even without having to read Atem’s body language and he knew when he could advance even further, adding a second and then a third finger before they both were breathing heavily yet slowly. 

Yuugi pulled out and let his slippery fingers wrap around his own member, coating it, before he wiped the fingers on the pelt, not caring if it would get stained or not. He lowered himself on top to give Atem a slow, affectionate kiss, their hips against each other and leaving his length dangerously close to entering.

Their eyes were still closed when their lips separated, both of them exhaling, inhaling, and then… Yuugi moved.

The contact made both of them moan, Atem more so, and he arched his back as Yuugi took hold of him with his arm, as if to stop him from falling too fast. Or fly too high. Where were they even going?

Yuugi found he didn’t care. They were going together in the same direction, moves and senses attuned, and that was enough to bring forth indescribable pleasure for them both.

Atem trembled under him, as Yuugi slowly pushed himself deeper, making small movements with his hips. Even with their limited amount of time, they couldn’t rush this, every motion was savoured because they wished so. And while their senses were attuned in a way they’d never been before, something in the back of their minds still felt fragile. 

When Yuugi had sheathed himself fully inside, his thrusts turned slower and into almost complete withdrawals, only to gently push himself in deep again. Atem moaned quietly under him, panting softly and he wrapped his arms around Yuugi. As Yuugi did a particularly hard, but still slow, thrust, Atem let out a small cry and buried his head in Yuugi's shoulder, only spurring Yuugi to move faster. Pending between featherlike kisses to gentle love bites, Yuugi let his mouth travel along Atem’s neck again, this time leaving marks like petals with his teeth on the darker skin. He could feel the vibrations Atem’s moans created, sending pleasant tingles all over his body. 

The swirling colours were moving faster but not as erratic and instead, started to intertwine, creating new tints that brought comfort on a much deeper level. Yuugi couldn’t explain it. He couldn’t understand how he could be even closer, in soul and mind, to Atem. He couldn’t understand where the lost pieces inside of him came from, how they slotted into the right places, slowly making him whole, his old discomforts disappearing more and more.

Yuugi’s couldn’t tell which pleasure belonged to whom and whose heat was growing faster, as it responded like echoes to each other, heightening their sensations as they both moved together and breathed heavily. Their world got smaller, the colours mending together into a single one and covering them, shrinking around them more and more. Heartbeats were pounding loudly in Yuugi's ears, almost making him incapable of hearing Atem's soft voice becoming more and more high-pitched with every roll of Yuugi's hips, soundless prayers not to stop, to never stop-

Their world exploded in white light, sending intense waves over them both that never seemed to ebb out. Atem let out a cry as if he was in pain and Yuugi groaned against Atem's shoulder, feeling them falling together. 

“I got you,” Yuugi whispered through the aftershocks, holding Atem tight in both his arms while Atem whimpered, clinging desperately to Yuugi, digging fingers and nails into his back, scratching him. There would definitely be marks there but Yuugi couldn’t feel the pain. He could barely feel himself anymore. All he felt was Atem, and all Atem felt was Yuugi. 

Yuugi slumped on top of Atem, not even having the energy to roll off but Atem only moved his arms around, holding him. 

He felt like he wanted to say something, _ anything _, but he couldn’t come up with words good enough to be even half-way close to the emotions inside.

Atem held him harder and Yuugi smiled as he nuzzled against Atem's neck, melting into the hug. He didn’t have to say anything. 

And while the stars shone brightly outside and the moon was full with a vague hint of red, the sun reached its highest point in Yuugi’s heart, never to set again.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, see you tomorrow for the next update ♥


End file.
